New Year Resolutions 2018: I should stick to these because we’re still here

Of the ten resolutions I made this year, I hit four of them and failed on six. Not exactly inspiring, but then this year has been bleak in an existential sort of way that hasn’t happened in a long time, thanks to the appalling spectacle of Trump’s breathtakingly corrupt and inept presidency, which easily eclipsed my absolute worst expectations.

But enough of that. The world didn’t blow up in 2017, so there is a small glimmer it will make it through 2018, too. Therefore, my resolutions.

My theme for 2018 is “Be realistic” so my goals are more modest than in years past.

  • Drop to 150 pounds. I got as low as 153 this year, but climbed back up in the last few months to 161.6 today. I’m ready to redouble my efforts, which leads to…
  • 100% donut-free. Yes, no donuts all year, no matter what. If someone offers me a free donut I will spurn it and cast aspersions upon the giver (“Are you trying to kill me slowly? What cruel sort are you?”) Well, maybe not so much the casting aspersions but no donuts–yes!
  • No farmers tan. I got close this year, next year I’ll do it! Stretch goal: full upper body tan. This also provides incentive for resolution #1.
  • Write 250 words of fiction per day. I bombed out on my goal of 1,000 per day this year and originally was going to aim for 500 next year, but instead settled on the even more modest 250 words per day. I can always up the number from there.
  • Run at least three times a week. Should be doable, barring injury. Alternate goal: any type of exercise at least three times a week. In case of weather or something, where I would use an elliptical instead of running, for example.
  • Read at least 32 books. Unchanged from this year, should be doable.
  • One drawing per week. To help nurture my creative side. It can be anything, in any format. Stick men? Sure. A circle with two dots in it representing a mouth-less face? Why not!
  • Win the lottery. Repeating this. I’ll use the money wisely, I swear!
  • Eat better. This ties in with going 100% donut-free and involves drastically cutting back on all snacking. Snacking is bad. Healthy snacking is hard, so it’s probably better to just avoid altogether.
  • Curb my web surfing and put my WoW sub on hold. These are time sinks that take away from other things I could be doing that would be more productive and probably more enjoyable, too.

Bonus resolution:

  • Continue to spurn social media, especially Facebook. This one is easy because I don’t have to change a thing!

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