I wanted a muffin, I got a cookie

There’s a new bakery that sells absolutely decadent double chocolate muffins a few blocks from where I work. I actually have to walk past another bakery to get there. Then there is another bakery across from the double chocolate muffin one. The neighborhood around here is pretty much bakeries and sushi places. But today I went to get a muffin at the new bakery and they had none. I settled for a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie. It was good but not as good. Maybe it’s a sign to stick to my New Year’s resolution and eat carrot sticks or something.

Also, it turns out the version of Rasputin I bought was the truncated single, not the full song from the, uh, classic album Nightflight to Venus. The entire verse about chopping off his head was missing. So I had to spend another 99 cents to get the full version. Perhaps I’ll look for some iTunes complaint site to express my outage over this. Hopefully it will have a simple form with multiple choices to check off, because I like my complaining to be easy and convenient!

I should have my next short story added to the site soon and a shocking announcement about my next novel, too. :O!

I’d buy that for a dollar (or 99 cents)

When I listen to music I still mainly do it the old-fashioned way, buying CDs and listening to them on my stereo. I rip all the tracks and copy them over into iTunes so I can also listen to them on my PC and iPod. When it comes to buying songs over iTunes, I never buy full albums because I’d rather get the CD and rip the tracks at my preferred bitrate (which is higher than what Apple offers on their DRM-protected songs). So mostly I’ll buy a few individual songs here and there. And I’ve noticed a trend.

I use iTunes to buy kitsch.

I could never bring myself to buy a full Boney M album (although I did when I was 14 but hey, I was 14). I can, however, bring myself to buy their cornball classic “Rasputin” for 99 cents.  Also see: “Venus” by Bananarama (is it possible to buy this song, be male and not gay?), Loverboy’s “Turn Me Loose” or even The Mama and Pappas’ “California Dreamin'” which may not be kitsch unless you also watch film footage of them in concert from 1967.

So I’d like to thank Apple for providing me the opportunity to indulge my horrible taste in music and nostalgia for mere pennies! I’m still not buying one of your iMacs, though. Sorry!

Goodbye docs, hello cow

I’ve done a wee bit of tidying up by removing all of the .doc versions of my short stories. I figure for a .pdf is good enough for reading and I’m the boss here, so that’s that! I recommend Foxit for viewing .pdf files.

I’ve finally added Stop That Cow!, a story I originally wrote in five installments on the Martian Cartel forum. I’ve converted the text file to something a little more readable for a .pdf but have otherwise not changed it. It could probably do with another pass but it’s not exactly heavy reading. Enjoy!

Wish you were here

Because if you were here, you might update this dang blog once in awhile, something I’ve been curiously unmotivated to do.

But I will have a few updates soon — for real!

Three new (old) stories and a new year, too

Between the last entry in October and this one written in March 2007 some 29,000 trees in Vancouver have been knocked down by storms carrying typhoon-strength winds. Once again, Green Revolution appears meek and conservative next to reality.

But enough of reality, I finally have three more stories ready. Learning to Die, Noises and The Big Green Monster That Sat on Cleveland are all self-explanatory titles. There’s no attempt to be ironic, edgy or hip, each story is really about what the title says.

I’ll be back to post again in six months!

A Pod With a View and a lazy blog guy

I started a full-time job back in July, hence the lack of updates here. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

As I write this the song “Seasons in the Sun” has just started playing on iTunes. This is truly one of the worst songs of all time and yet I am strangely fascinated by it. I plug my nose and sing along. Fun fact: for three years I worked with Craig Jacks, the brother of Terry Jacks (the songmeister responsible for this classic). Craig was the head lifeguard at Locarno Beach where I slung fries and hot dogs of dubious nutritional value from 1996 to 98. He and the other ‘guards would groove out 70s-style late into the warm summer nights. He never really talked about Terry as I recall. Ah, how I look back fondly on my days at Locarno. We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. But the stars we could reach were just starfish on the beach…

I’ve included the latest addition to the short story collection, A Pod With a View. This one is from an actual school assignment and I’ve provided the instructor’s comments as a special bonus.

Last week I picked up a cheapie Canon scanner (this one, to be exact) and will begin scanning in older stories and other creative endeavors from years past. The quality of my work varies as wildly as my mood after an all-night Tequila bender, so consider yourself warned.

Seasons in the Sun courtesy of Planet Pop 70s (this was the first link Google coughed up).

Time for Killing Time

I’ve added the mandatory time travel story that I penned back in 1993. Killing Time is its name. Against my better judgement, I have also included the short-short The Little Boy Who Rode a Green Bike, for which I offer no explanation but profuse apologies. You will be a little dumber for having read it.

A troll, a knight and a thief walk into a bar…

In Trolling for Fun and Profit I go medieval in a romp about a troll, a knight and the thief that gets caught between them. This is yet another story from my ever-fertile 1993 period. Enjoy!

A couple of fiction updates

I’ve re-jiggered the Short Fiction Introduction page to serve as a repository for links to all the stories collected here. I have added .pdf versions of Green Revolution, Sammy Takes a Dive and Sing, Toaster, Sing. Expect to see more added over the next few weeks as I tidy up the tales for proper interweb presentation.

Keeping it fsimple

I’ve looked over a number of themes for WP and have settled on fsimple for now because it’s simple and I’m all about being simple.

I’ve adjusted the type, color scheme and formatting a bit and will continue to plink away at the general site design. Then I shall dazzle with content.

Updated to 2.02!

Who needs content when you can just update the backend that no one ever sees?

I swear I am going to reorganize the fiction pages and finally create a new theme for this place. Really. You’ll see.

Eventually.