Happy candy manufacturers appreciation day!

It’s my favourite manufactured holiday of the year–or at least it was when I was a wee lad. Back then I loved scarfing chocolate-coated marshmallow hearts and trading Valentine cards with classmates. Nowadays I try to limit my indulgence of sweets to a few carefully-chosen targets and sadly exchange cards with no one. The face-stuffing has been relegated to a fond, gooey memory.

And so Valentine’s Day is now simply that time of year when store shelves overflowing with Valentine-themed candy will soon be replaced with shelves overflowing with Easter-themed candy. Easter was my second favourite manufactured holiday as a kid because I loved scarfing chocolate-coated marshmallow Easter bunnies. I suppose the holiday itself isn’t manufactured but as a kid I didn’t care much one way or the other because of the chocolate-coated marshmallow Easter bunnies.

Thinking about it now I kind of have a craving for one of those horrifically sweet Cadbury creme eggs they roll out (ho ho) for the season. I just checked and they apparently have only 150 calories each. I say only because the taste suggests the number would be closer to 10,000. I remember when I could eat a 3-pack of the things without stopping to take a breath. By coincidence I also weighed 40 pounds more back then. By fat overindulgent coincidence.