Somewhere, Mavis Beacon is laughing at me

Yes, it’s come to this. I mistype the word “humidity” so often, and I’m now talking about it so much, that I’m now using the Mac’s built-in text replacement tool to fix my persistent misspelling of the word:

I will always regret not taking that typing class in high school. With real typewriters and everything. I wonder if schools expect kids to start Grade 1 as advanced typists now. “Todd, you can’t take recess break until you hit at least 75 wpm!”

Current humidity is 55%

UPDATE: It’s not working! Apparently the text expander doesn’t work in Firefox or browsers or something. I am sad. And full of typos.

Me vs. Mavis Beacon, part 2

Yes, it’s been nearly a year since the last time I went one on one with the formidable Mavis Beacon. I think it’s a testament to how much that composite character intimidates me that it took this long to return.

A new year means a new beginning, though, so I re-installed Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing and after 50 minutes of carefully following Mavis’s lessons, here is my current status:

Yes, I can now touch-type at a rate of 10 words per minute. This means that adding seven fingers to my typing has reduced my overall speed by about 75% (I can hunt and peck around 40 WPM). However, Mavis has not only been forthcoming with encouragement, she has practically gushed about my phenomenal typing skills, to the point where I’m fairly certain I could type a bunch of nonsense and she would still lavish me with unearned praise. It seems this new version has defanged Ms. Beacon in favor of a kinder, gentler persona.

I’m still leery, though. She started out nice the last time, too, before switching over to her “You seem kind of dumb. Go play a video game instead” mode. Time will tell, I suppose.

Good Job! Good Job? 12 WPM sucks. That’s one of those thousand monkeys banging away randomly at the keyboard with the hope that he might be the one to spontaneously type out Hamlet. But I guess it’s more encouraging than “Wow, that’s so slow I had time to finish my tax return”. And I did actually discover something new about my typing: I have been sitting a little too far to the right of the keyboard. I noticed this when I was consistently hitting the wrong key and saw that my hand was turned in a way that the ghost hand onscreen wasn’t. Thanks, Mavis! (for now)

Me vs. Mavis Beacon, part 1

I have written before about my battles with Mavis Beacon on the Martian Cartel forum. Mavis is the composite identity used as the face of a typing program published by Broderbund. I regard her as an arch-nemesis.

A few months ago I picked up the current version of Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing — the third time I’ve bought the insidious program. I was sure this time would be different. This time she wouldn’t crush my dreams like a sparrow in the hand of a hill giant. This time I would progress beyond my usual three-fingers-is-plenty typing style.

She looks so friendly and helpful on the cover. She wouldn’t be mean this time.

The first thing you do in the program is create a profile. Then you get presented with the screen below. Why is Mavis talking about herself in the third person? Does she think she is royalty? Has she gone mad? She won’t say, so I just start a-typin’.

mavis3rdperson

As expected, my speed puts me in the “special needs” category. I’m staying positive, though! Mostly I stay positive by closing the program at this point. I’ll have further results Soon®!