Telephones are bad

Except I’m yelling at telephones

Remember back in the old days when the worst part about a telephone was the rotary dial? I do, because I’m old as dirt. But to compensate, you only had to dial the last five digits of a number, instead of all seven.

Today, you have to punch in 10 digits to call the person next door, but you actually don’t do this at all, because they’re in your contacts list and you just tap a few buttons. If you had to actually enter their phone number, you would have no idea what it was. You might not even understand numbers themselves.

So in a way, phones are better now, because dialing is more convenient than ever. BOOP BOOP and done.

BUT…spam. I also remember never getting spam calls. Now I get them all the time. This is not an improvement. But because phones now accept text messages, I can also get my spam in text form, too. And do. Constantly!

Also, remember before we had voicemail trees? Where you could talk to an actual person because an actual person would pick up the phone when you called? It seems quaint now.

I had to call a bank, not for myself, but regarding someone else. I got into a voicemail tree. I spent some time with this pseudo-person-sounding thing. It was confused and befuddled by my inquiries. I tried rephrasing. I thought of using some snooty British accent. Finally, I pushed the 0 (zero) key, hoping it would still work as a “Please for the love of all things holy, let me talk to an actual carbon-based unit” button. And it did! The “digital assistant” put me through to an actual person at some central office, probably a couple of thousand miles from the local branch I wanted to book an appointment at (she confirmed her centrality, but did not reveal where she was located, nor did I inquire). She could not book the appointment for reasons, so I ended up speaking to three different people and being subjected to terrible hold music that played on a short loop and sounded like it was recorded from the FM radio in a ’73 Gremlin. In the end, I finally had an appointment. Hopefully. They could not give me a local number in case I had to cancel or was running late or anything. Apparently they only communicate through telepathy or email with local branches.

Back in 1975, I would have called the local branch directly, spoken to someone who would have picked up after the first ring, then had the appointment booked in a few minutes. Except I was 10 years old in 1975 and didn’t even have an account back then. But I could have theoretically done this.

My current phone is pretty good at checking the weather, though, and it lets me take photos of me shaking my fist at the sky, futilely. So in some ways telephones are not bad.

I’m not always polite and mild (or witty)

When you get a spam message on an iPhone, you can report is as junk and have it block the sender and delete the message. If you also have a Mac, it will not mirror this, so you will still see the message there, until you delete it.

This morning, I was reminded that I broke one of my rules yesterday morning when I replied to a scammer. I haven’t done this in years. I don’t enjoy “the game” and appreciate having a single button I can tap to make them go away (it would be better if these messages never got through at all, of course). But yesterday morning I was apparently a bit cranky from being up extra early due to Mouse Incident™ and I did reply, before blocking. Behold my early morning sass:

Today, I asked my AI pal ChatGPT to come up with some sassy replies written in the style of Shakespeare that I could use instead. They’re actually not that bad!

Oh, treacherous fiend, whose wicked scheme is laid,
In the realm of cyberspace, a villainous charade,
Thy words, like honeyed poison, doth beguile,
Yet beneath thy deceit, a serpent's guile.

And:

Thy message o'er Apple's channel of delight,
Doth seek to rob me blind, in broad daylight,
A plea for gold, a promise to repay,
Yet, in truth, thou art but a wolf at bay.

But I will probably just Delete and Report Junk like I normally do.

Boring cars, boring people

The picture below is the parking lot at Hume Park. I normally walk through here three days a week, going to and from my run at Burnaby Lake. But focus not on the park or scenery, take a look at the vehicles. What do you notice about them?

There is an assortment of cars, SUVs, plus a truck and a van. What else?

They are all either:

  • Black
  • White
  • Silver
  • Gray
  • Some other colour so muted you can’t really tell what it is

When did cars become so incredibly dull-looking? Why does everyone choose a non-colour instead of actual colour? I did some research and for a new vehicle, choosing a real colour (red, blue, etc.) usually only adds a few hundred dollars to the total price, which in terms of monthly payments is virtually unnoticeable. So it can’t be cost.

I asked ChatGPT (because of course I did) and while some of its answers made sense, others were a bit silly or even self-contradictory (they improve visibility?!). Here is a spoiler with its answers:

ChatGPT on people avoiding colourful cars
The choice of vehicle color is influenced by a combination of personal preferences, cultural trends, and practical considerations. While it’s true that neutral tones like white, silver, and black are often more popular than bolder colours like red, blue, or green, there are several reasons for this phenomenon:

  • 1. Resale Value: Neutral colours tend to have broader appeal and can be seen as more timeless, making vehicles with these colours easier to sell in the used car market. Bolder colours might be less attractive to a potential buyer, leading to a longer wait time or a lower resale value.
  • 2. Practicality: Neutral colours like white, silver, and black are often considered more practical because they are less likely to show dirt, scratches, and minor imperfections. They can also be easier to maintain and keep looking clean.
  • 3. Professionalism: Many people choose neutral colours for their vehicles, especially if they use them for work or business purposes. These colours can convey a sense of professionalism and seriousness, which might be important for some individuals.
  • 4. Temperature Control: Lighter colours like white and silver reflect more sunlight and heat, helping to keep the interior of the vehicle cooler. This can be especially important in hot climates.
  • 5. Visibility: Neutral colours tend to blend in better with the environment, making them potentially safer in terms of visibility on the road.
  • 6. Cultural and Social Factors: Different cultures and societies might have preferences for certain colours based on symbolism, cultural norms, or perceptions of luxury. Neutral colours might be associated with elegance and sophistication in some cultures.
  • 7. Personal Taste: While bolder colours can be eye-catching and express individuality, some people prefer the understated and classic look of neutral colours. Others might feel that bolder colours could become tiresome over time or might not match their personal style.
  • 8. Color Trends: Automotive manufacturers often follow color trends based on market research and consumer preferences. If neutral colours are in vogue, manufacturers might produce more vehicles in those colours.
  • 9. Customization Options: Some individuals prefer to keep their vehicles in neutral tones because they plan to customize them with aftermarket modifications or wraps. Neutral colours serve as a blank canvas for these customization options. It’s important to note that while neutral colours are often more popular, the choice of vehicle color is ultimately a personal decision. Bolder colours can be a great way to stand out and showcase individuality, and some people do opt for them for precisely those reasons.

I think the ones where the AI comes closest is in terms of blending in and wanting to conform. Car companies probably push bland colours, too, because it’s easier to make 1,000 white cars than to make 250 white cars, 250 red cars, 250 green cars and a couple of hundred covered in polka dots. I just find it a little sad and off-putting. I know, this is the definition of a first world problem and cars are destroying the planet, etc. But they could at least look pretty while destroying the planet!

Save (for one whole week) on foods

From the Save On Foods weekly flyer:

Today is July 13. This means Save On Foods is guaranteeing they won’t raise prices on a select number of items for (hold onto your hats) one entire week!

What a truly wondrous offering from our food supplying overlords.

This seems like a good spot for some internet links. These links are good until July 19…and beyond!

DuckDuckGo search on “food store greed”: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=food+store+greed&t=newext&atb=v382-7&ia=web

Some of the results:

Corporate greed at the grocery store is making people go hungry

Inflation: Why Canada grocers are accused of ‘greedflation’ – BBC

Grocery giants are screwing Canadians—and farmers have proof

Banger shmanger

It occurs to me that as banger enters the lexicon as a word to describe something good, great or otherwise appealing, that I do not like the word. It’s a bit too affected for my tastes, sort of this generation’s “groovy.”

And then I realize oh yeah, I’m old! This is one of those ways I know I’m getting older. A younger generation, one that came after mine, is now pushing new lingo into the general vocabulary and if I get cranky at their twenty-three skidoos, I’m just an old man yelling at clouds.

So be it.

(Don’t even get me started on baller.)

BONUS: Can we also already retire “lives rent-free in my (or someone else’s) head” as an expression? I think I’ve seen it about a billion times or so this year. NO EXAGGERATION.

Microsoft decides Windows users want ads everywhere, all the time

I’d been using my Mac for the past few days and didn’t realize Microsoft had updated the weather app in Windows 11. This is actually a surprisingly comprehensive and handsome-looking app, showing the kind of taste that Steve Jobs said Microsoft never had.

The updated version of the app is terrible. It’s pretty much exactly what Steve Jobs said about Microsoft having no taste–cluttered, ugly, and on top of that, it now has a large ad stuffed into it. It’s a built-in app, so it would be nice to escape ads while I’m using it. What next? Calculator sponsored by Crest? Terminal with a 10-second rolling ad before you can type anything?

Fortunately, I used my internet smarts to do the following:

  • Uninstall the odious new app
  • Download the old version and re-install it
  • Disable auto-updates in the Microsoft Store, hopefully insuring the new app will not come back on its own
  • Provide feedback through Microsoft’s handy Feedback Hub to tell them to stop stuffing ads into every corner of Windows

It’s like Microsoft has resigned itself to most people just switching to Macs, so they’re going to squeeze the remaining few for everything they’ve got with ads and monetization.

Bah. Bad Microsoft!

Here’s a shot of the new version:

Tanks for the updated app! (ho ho)

And here’s the lovingly restored old version:

Yes, it’s looking to be a tad warm this weekend

An interesting and possibly unfortunate confluence of events

Tomorrow–Monday, September 19–is going to be a strange day. Here are just a few of the things happening:

  • Fire alarm repairs. Per the memo for our condo, “repairs of the fire protection equipment” are needed, somehow. Not testing, repairs. The memo contains no details on what this means.
  • My birthday. Self-explanatory (I hope).
  • Queen’s funeral. This is kind of an official holiday in Canada, but with mourning instead of partying (for most, anyway). Schools (including post-secondary) are closed, so my partner has the day off.
  • Talk Like a Pirate Day. It has always bothered me that this utterly stupid thing falls on my birthday, just because. Check your history books, kids (the good ones, anyway)! Pirates were not fun-loving rascals, they were murderers and thieves. It doesn’t matter how many Monkey Island games you played, it’s still true! Maybe if they called it Talk Like a Pirate as Romanticized in Movies and Video Games Day.

So basically, I get annoyed by fire alarm testing/repairs, don’t have the day to myself (I’m selfish, I admit!), have to put up with every stupid pirate joke conceivable and someone will probably blend those with Queen Elizabeth’s funeral into something like, “Yarr, the Queen be dead. Love live the King. Yarr.”

Basically, I am ready for Tuesday.

Prime Day Shmime Day! (I say)

Pretty much every tech site yesterday and today is filled with “stories” about deals for Amazon’s Prime Day, which is actually two days. Why do I not like this? Let me list the ways:

  • The sheer amount of space devoted to the “deals”. Engadget, not exactly a hardcore tech site admittedly, is almost nothing but a feed of Amazon deals today (check the image below). Want to read actual tech news? It’s there, you just have to find it sandwiched between Amazon deals now.
  • Every single one of these sites is posting deals that are exclusively for Amazon.com (the U.S. site), so the deals aren’t even relevant to most of the planet. America is not the world, but you’d never know it by checking Ars Technica, say.
  • It all feels a bit unseemly, this two-day mini-orgy of tech consumerism, with nothing to counter-balance it, and really, a lot of the deals are not even that good (as expected).
  • Motivated self-interest (see the second screenshot below) means this ain’t gonna get better any time soon.

Unedited list of stories from today’s Engadget main page, with the Prime Day deals highlighted. This is just what I could easily capture without scrolling:

Why this is unlikely to go away at any point in the immediate, near or long term future:

I will give Ars Technica’s Jeff Dunn credit here–he’s compiled a single story for most of the deals, which is a) convenient for readers b) makes the rest of the site much more readable until this nonsense is over and c) the second paragraph links to 15 (!) previous stories Ars Technica have run that cast a critical eye at Amazon and its practices.

“This Amazing Productivty Hack”

Good ol’ clickbait! Here’s how the above headline was presented in my Medium Weekly Digest newsletter:

Want to know what the amazing productivity hack is?

“Send everything to the trash first, then pull out from the trash what’s important.”

Yes, the author literally advocates deleting all your email from the inbox, then going to the trash/deleted items folder and pulling out what you really want to keep.

Or, you know, don’t subscribe to a bunch of crap you never read in the first place? Then there’s no need for any kind of multistep process, because all the junk email you don’t want or need never arrives! That’s my amazing productivity hack.

The author alleges that “By the end of the day, there were more than 50 emails chillaxing in my new digital Zen space. How dare they! And they were nearly early all spam — including stuff I thought I’d unsubscribed from, blocked, or banned.” This sounds rather fishy. First, she uses the huge caveat of “I thought I’d…” which probably means “I never did”, or she has catastrophically bad filtering on her email account. Or both. Also, how do you “ban” email?

Here’s another amazing productivity hack: Don’t waste your time reading stories like this, or even blog posts like this one deconstructing them. Go play with a puppy or kitten instead. Hug a tree. Talk to a plant. East a cookie. Or one of the other billion trillion quadrillion things that would be a better use of your time.

In conclusion, this cat:

On why venting doesn’t work

air conditioner unit near wall of modern building on street
This type of venting does work! Photo by ready made on Pexels.com

A few months ago, I stopped reading and posting at Broken Forum, after being a member there since its inception in January 2012. The main reason was pretty simple: I got tired of most threads and discussions being complaints about everything. The forum is dominated by a few voices, and these people are largely given to complain about things. I am certainly not complaint-free myself–though I’ve tried! The last couple of posts I’ve made here have been more negative than usual. Who knew monitor stands could rile me up so much? The general state of humanity is perhaps a bit more understandable.

I came across this article on Slate via Pocket: Venting doesn’t work

Here’s a quote from the end of the article, with some techniques on how to counter the urge to vent. I especially like the imagery of the macarena-inspired technique:

There are lots of other things you can do when overwhelmed by negative emotion. Try “square breathing,” four breaths in and four breaths out, in order to take your body out of fight-or-flight mode. If that doesn’t work, there’s another schoolteacher trick: Cross your arms in front of you like steps five and six of the macarena; make fists, pretending one holds a bouquet and the other a candle; breathe in the roses; and blow out the flame. Psychologists call techniques like this “psychological distancing,” and studies show that they’re an effective way to defuse upsetting emotions like anger. When a modicum of calm descends, try to identify the root of your frustration by asking yourself: “Why am I so upset about this?” Ultimately, anger is like smoke. You have to get at what’s feeding the fire. After sitting with your emotions, move forward by problem-solving, scheduling a future time to discuss underlying issues, or using any number of other healthy coping mechanisms.

I like the excellent timing of this article showing up just after I lapsed into a bit of venty behavior. It’s helped me step back and calm back down. I am not committing to the macarena, though. Not yet, anyway.