If my morning commute was a text adventure

> Wake up
It’s not 6 a.m. yet.

> Wake up
Are you sure you want to do that?

> Yes
You wake up.

> Look
Your bedroom is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

> Turn on light
The bedroom is filled with a warm light. You look at the carpeting and can’t remember the last time you vacuumed.

> Don’t judge me
I don’t know the word “judge.”

> Good
Good to know you, too.

> Eat breakfast
You can’t do that here.

> Leave for work
Are you sure you want to do that?

> No
You leave for work.

> Bah
You don’t see any bah here.

> Look out window of SkyTrain and enjoy the view
You see a slate gray sky and rain comes down in sheets.

> Close eyes
You close your eyes. For a moment it is silent, then the intercom squawks to life with an announcement.

> Listen to announcement
“This is SkyTrain Control. A family of squirrels is on the track between Broadway and Nanaimo stations. Your train is being momentarily held while SkyTrain personnel investigate. We apologize for the delay and thank you for your patience.”

After thirty seconds the announcement repeats.

> Listen to music on phone
Your phone has no charge as you did not plug it in last night.

> $#%&^!
You don’t see any $#%&^! here.

> Wait
You wait.

“This is SkyTrain Control. A family of squirrels is on the track between Broadway and Nanaimo stations. Your train is being momentraily held while SkyTrain personnel investigate. We apologize for the delay and thank you for your patience.”

> Wait
You wait.

The intercom comes to life and someone on it loudly clears his throat.

“This is SkyTrain Control. A family of squirrels is on the track between Broadway and Nanaimo stations. Your train is being momentraily held while SkyTrain personnel investigate. We apologize for the delay and thank you for your patience.”

> Wait until train is moving
The train begins moving.

> Check time
It is 7:49 a.m. You are going to be late for work.

> Call work on phone
Your phone has no charge as you did not plug it in last night.

> Well that’s just great
You don’t see any well here.

> Shut up
How rude.

> This sucks
Can you be more specific?

> Look
You are in a SkyTrain car.

In the car you see the following:

Several passengers
Crumpled newspaper (under seat)
Spilled soda
A bicycle

The floor is covered with a sticky liquid that is slowly snaking toward yor feet.

> Cry
Do you feel better now?

> No.
How negative!

> Save
Are you sure you want to save? Your score is 10 out of 500, giving you a rank of Newbie Commuter.

> Yes
Saved.

> Quit
Are you sure you want to quit?

> Yes.

How to not be eaten by a grue, as revealed by me 26 years ago

I’d like to say I grew up on text adventure games, even though that would identify me as olde, but in reality the genre was already well-developed when I was in my teens. Still, I fondly recall getting nearly all of the Infocom games for my Commodore 64, during the period between 1984 and 1988. By 1989 the market had shifted, Infocom was making games with actual graphics and the text adventure pretty much died. It would be many years before freely-available interpreters and languages for writing text adventures would lead to a minor renaissance of the genre.

You can find information about a lot of the resultant games and more at The Interactive Fiction Archive.

Information on Infocom games can be found at Infocom – The Master Storytellers (and, of course, Wikipedia).

A text adventure was simple to learn–type your actions at a command prompt, read the results, repeat until you have solved all the puzzles in the game–but often the biggest puzzle was figuring out which words or commands the game could understand and the proper way to present them.

Back in that mid-80s era when computer graphics were less sophisticated (ie, crude, terrible) I spent many hours working through Infocom’s games. This was also my first bit of co-op gaming as I usually had a friend assisting me. Two brains will theoretically solve puzzles more capably than one. Until both brains get completely stuck, that is. That’s when you mail order the Invisiclues hint book and wait weeks to finally get an answer. It was the gaming equivalent of walking to school uphill in the snow both ways. And we liked it!

One of the key requirements of playing an Infocom game was making a map. Sure, you could try memorizing the game world and with some simpler titles it might even work, but making a map was essential for nearly all Infocom games. I’m fairly certain that utter madness was the only reward for successfully mapping out all of Zork I and its mazes.

I took to making most of my maps in a sketchbook and recently scanned in some of the more detailed maps. By the end I think I was playing the games more to make the maps than to play the actual games. Going back and looking through the maps also made me realize there are more than a few of these games that I left unfinished. Now they taunt me and I consider re-playing them using programs like Gargoyle or Windows Frotz to help make the experience more pleasurable than those halcyon days of yore with my Commodore 64 displaying 40 whole characters of text on a single line. 40! And I always knew I had successfully solved a puzzle because the 1541 disk drive would start grinding away madly to fetch a new chunk of game. Today I can use Trizbort to automate the mapping process entirely but I know if I do go back I’ll have that sketchbook at hand and start doodling again because it was part of the magic.

And a game without magic is just a game.

Here are the maps I’ve scanned so far.

First up is Zork I. The maze in this game (twisty passages, all alike) requires you to drop items in order to successfully map it out. Following all of these lines still gives me a headache. I never finished the game but I did finish the maze!

Next is Infidel, featuring ASCII hieroglyphics and even a start and end date for the game playthrough. How nerdy.

I have two Enchanter maps, the first image being from the start of the game and the second being the next area. I like the turtle.

And the follow-up area:

Finally the maps for Spellbreaker even includes 3D shading. Fancy!