There’s not an app for that: The impending end of SwiftKey on iOS

UPDATE, August 2, 2023: Microsoft changed its mind, and has continued to support SwiftKey with both bug fixes and new features. The reversal happened before the app would have been delisted.

I have had some kind of iOS device going back to the iPhone 4 in 2010. How has it already been 12 years? Time is crazy.

The default keyboard the iPhone uses has never felt right to me, and so early on I looked for alternatives when Apple allowed for third-party keyboards. I found one in SwiftKey, which looked nice, was usually good with autocorrect, rather than aggressively awful (why is it I had not seen the term “auto-corrupt” before today?) and didn’t require you to swap to a different keyboard screen for something as simple as using a question mark.

Microsoft bought SwiftKey in 2016, but this didn’t seem to affect the app itself, so I continued on my merry way with it.

Today Microsoft announced it was ending support for the iOS version of SwiftKey on October 5, 2022, and it would be delisted, meaning it will work on current devices, but when you get your shiny new iPhone 18 Pro Max Ultra, SwiftKey will be nowhere to be found, purged completely from iOS.

Microsoft didn’t say why they are killing off only the iOS version, but it probably has to do with data collection and the limits Apple has in place for third-party keyboards.

I am sad.

For now, I’ll keep using it, as I don’t expect to get a new iPhone or iPad any time soon and the app will work fine in the meantime. After that, if I do get a new Apple iSomething, I’ll have to consider other options:

  • Default keyboard. It’s better now, but it still has a weird floaty feel I don’t like, and the keys seem a bit too small, even for my tiny, doll-like hands.
  • Gboard. Decent, but I’m trying to get away from Google, not run into its data-harvesting arms.
  • Grammarly. I guess they make a keyboard? Does it prompt you to get the Grammarly app if you make too many typos?
  • Others? Microsoft also owns Nuance, which itself owned Swype, so…who knows?

Meh. Meh, I say! This also reminds me that the utterly addictive iOS game Dungeon Raid got abandoned years ago. I played the heck out of that thing, then it stopped getting updated and is now gone forever (it was a paid app, not “freemium”). Given how much I played, I probably shouldn’t lament its disappearance.

Somewhere, Mavis Beacon is laughing at me

Yes, it’s come to this. I mistype the word “humidity” so often, and I’m now talking about it so much, that I’m now using the Mac’s built-in text replacement tool to fix my persistent misspelling of the word:

I will always regret not taking that typing class in high school. With real typewriters and everything. I wonder if schools expect kids to start Grade 1 as advanced typists now. “Todd, you can’t take recess break until you hit at least 75 wpm!”

Current humidity is 55%

UPDATE: It’s not working! Apparently the text expander doesn’t work in Firefox or browsers or something. I am sad. And full of typos.

The one rule about typing club…

…would probably be “don’t make typos.”

On a whim I plugged in my old Filco 87-key keyboard with brown switches to see how they felt after not using the keyboard for awhile and it’s actually better than I remember. The keys are tactile without the same CLACK as blues, but still satisfying to a certain degree, and less noisy.

With the Filco still plugged in and in the mood for some typing, I did a search for “learn to type” and landed at typingclub.com. It was eager to invite me to take the first lesson, which consisted of typing F and J a lot (the home keys, as the billions of people who can touch type already know). I dutifully went through Lesson 1 and got the following results:

I’m not sure what real accuracy is, other than the apparent opposite of fake accuracy. But look, I passed all the requirements and was invited to move on. This scares me, because Mavis Beacon started out very encouraging, too, before basically saying I was slow and a bit dumb, but I’ll let you skip ahead so you don’t cry and make a scene, okay?

26 wpm compares to my usual three-fingers-look-at-the-keyboard-a-lot method’s average of 45 wpm or so. The gap between the two is sadly not that great to close, testimony to how slow I currently type.

I may try Lesson 2 or another program, or just recall Mavis’s cruel smile and switch to voice dictation. We’ll see.

The exciting world of new keyboards

I have a Saitek Eclipse keyboard and the main reason I got it was for the backlit keys. They’re cool in a geeky sort of way and practical in low-light conditions. However, I discovered over time that I preferred not working in low-light conditions on the computer, so the backlit keys seemed less necessary. What was worse, though, was the lettering on the keys being obliterated by my apparently acid-spewing fingers. The E, O, P, A, S, H, L and N keys are all smudged to the point of being nearly unreadable. Awhile back I had bought the Microsoft Digital Media Keyboard 3000 which, as the name implies, comes with a hojillion multimedia keys that do everything but iron your clothes and walk the dog. I pulled it out and remembered why I had not taken to it when I first tried it. The keys are ‘low travel’, which is fancy keyboard talk for the keys not sticking up as much and being scrunched a little closer together. The idea is you don’t need to press down as far or stretch as much, thus saving wear and tear on your fingers, whether or not they spew acid.

I find it makes me more prone to make typos because it feels funny. However, this seems as good a time as any to do battle once again with that unforgiving shrew, Mavis Beacon. Stay tuned!

Me vs. Mavis Beacon, part 2

Yes, it’s been nearly a year since the last time I went one on one with the formidable Mavis Beacon. I think it’s a testament to how much that composite character intimidates me that it took this long to return.

A new year means a new beginning, though, so I re-installed Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing and after 50 minutes of carefully following Mavis’s lessons, here is my current status:

Yes, I can now touch-type at a rate of 10 words per minute. This means that adding seven fingers to my typing has reduced my overall speed by about 75% (I can hunt and peck around 40 WPM). However, Mavis has not only been forthcoming with encouragement, she has practically gushed about my phenomenal typing skills, to the point where I’m fairly certain I could type a bunch of nonsense and she would still lavish me with unearned praise. It seems this new version has defanged Ms. Beacon in favor of a kinder, gentler persona.

I’m still leery, though. She started out nice the last time, too, before switching over to her “You seem kind of dumb. Go play a video game instead” mode. Time will tell, I suppose.

Good Job! Good Job? 12 WPM sucks. That’s one of those thousand monkeys banging away randomly at the keyboard with the hope that he might be the one to spontaneously type out Hamlet. But I guess it’s more encouraging than “Wow, that’s so slow I had time to finish my tax return”. And I did actually discover something new about my typing: I have been sitting a little too far to the right of the keyboard. I noticed this when I was consistently hitting the wrong key and saw that my hand was turned in a way that the ghost hand onscreen wasn’t. Thanks, Mavis! (for now)

Me vs. Mavis Beacon, part 1

I have written before about my battles with Mavis Beacon on the Martian Cartel forum. Mavis is the composite identity used as the face of a typing program published by Broderbund. I regard her as an arch-nemesis.

A few months ago I picked up the current version of Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing — the third time I’ve bought the insidious program. I was sure this time would be different. This time she wouldn’t crush my dreams like a sparrow in the hand of a hill giant. This time I would progress beyond my usual three-fingers-is-plenty typing style.

She looks so friendly and helpful on the cover. She wouldn’t be mean this time.

The first thing you do in the program is create a profile. Then you get presented with the screen below. Why is Mavis talking about herself in the third person? Does she think she is royalty? Has she gone mad? She won’t say, so I just start a-typin’.

mavis3rdperson

As expected, my speed puts me in the “special needs” category. I’m staying positive, though! Mostly I stay positive by closing the program at this point. I’ll have further results Soon®!