Getting Ferris a job was easy. He searched online and chose a medical career that is described as ‘organ donor’ and talks about working with bedpans. I am kind of glad the description doesn’t go into more detail than that. I think he’s supposed to be a candystriper. I wish I could login to a computer, click Choose Career and get started in a shiny new job. Stupid reality.

Once Ferris had a weekly routine imposed on him, things began getting trickier. For example, he was always sleeping until fully rested, which rarely gave him enough time to prepare anything beyond a bowl of cereal for breakfast. He likes to eat cereal, usually in his underwear. And not just for breakfast, almost anytime he’s hungry.

Breakfast of champions

Several times I had him attempt to make waffles. For some reason he puts them in a pan and tries to bake them in the oven. Each attempt has resulted in something blackened that almost set off the smoke detector.

Charcoal waffles, anyone?

Waffles, theoretically

He has had more success with Mac & Cheese and delicious grape pancakes. While Ferris is a mediocre cook, he is an even worse cleaner. The first batch of briquette waffles were left to fester on the counter until the odor was making him nauseous and bringing him down. I then instructed him to clean up and he obediently did. I’m hoping that he’ll eventually get into the habit of doing it on his own. His autonomy slider is all the way to the right, after all.


Periodically wishes appear in your, uh, wish bucket, which can hold up to four at a time. They offer lifetime happiness points when fulfilled and enough points lets you buy a perk from a menu like this:

Lifetime rewards

In this case I chose the somewhat sucky Office Hero, which makes everyone at work like Ferris all the more. If Ferris continues to burn more than cook I make get him Discount Diner next — free meals at restaurants forever!

The wishes range from things like Read 3 Books to Visit the Art Gallery or Cook Waffles Without Destroying Them (actually, that last one is not a wish, just a vain hope). Ferris has visited the local graveyard, art gallery and more as part of his wish fulfillment and has taken tentative steps in learning how to better cook and do simple repairs. The latter has seen limited success, as evidenced below.


This resulted in a call to the plumber, though Ferris did mop up the kitchen floor on his own and without setting anything on fire in the process.

Artistically, Ferris is working on a painting (after getting an easel) and a novel, The Loneliest Yeti. I expect great things from these, especially after getting a lamp to put next to the easel so he could actually see what he was painting.

Socially, he has chatted with a few people and they are now listed as acquaintances, including Stiles. I had Ferris call Stiles up and invite him over, but bumbled the whole ‘going to the door and letting the guest in’ part because I thought Ferris would do that on his own. By the time I figured it out, Stiles had left for work. Oh well, he can always hit on him later.

Er, I mean, invite him over for a nice drink. I should probably get Ferris a stereo so he can play soft music, but he’s getting a bit low on funds. Cleaning bedpans doesn’t pay well.

Finally, the shower. I discovered that you don’t need to follow the normal morning shower ritual, just shower when the ol’ hygiene bar gets low and the reports of stinky start coming in. And yes, I applied the nude patch. Not because I have a prurient need to see naked video game guys, more because I wanted to see if Sims were virtual Ken dolls. Turns out they are. I think I was better off not knowing.