A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted by Will Bowen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
It would be wrong, of course, to complain about this book.
But I do have one minor concern, if I may. While author Will Bowen issues the challenge of going complaint-free for 21 days, he only addresses verbally complaining to others–face to face, like in the olden days before social media. He doesn’t specifically say if complaining on Twitter or Facebook or anywhere online still counts. I think it would, but the clarification would be nice.
Also, declaring sarcasm as complaining-with-humor (which is more or less true) would make this challenge nigh-impossible for me. I love sarcasm the way Jupiter loves gravity.
Still, I want to try, because the numerous examples of people forsaking all manner of complaining (except in their thoughts, as Bowen admits trying to police the 70,000-odd thoughts we have on average per day would be…daunting) provide compelling reasons to go complaint-free. It’s not just turning off negativity, it’s about opening yourself up to the positive, to thinking beyond problems, instead of just dwelling on them. Bowen admits that it is, to a degree, committing to a kind of self-delusion, but he asserts that those complaining are equally delusional, just in a negative, counter-productive way.
Not every story told in the book worked for me. The opening story, in which Bowen’s beloved dog is mortally injured in a hit and run, left me with too many unanswered questions. Bowen drives after the truck responsible and confronts the owner at the front step of his home. The driver is dismissive, noting how he doesn’t care and if Bowen tries to clock him in revenge, that’s assault. Bowen leaves, still in a rage, but ultimately realizes the driver has undoubtedly suffered pain in his life, enough to make him indifferent to killing an innocent dog, and he makes peace with himself over what happened. This is fine for Bowen.
But I was left wondering what an apparently unchecked sociopath like that driver would go on to do, having emerged from the incident without any repercussions. I’m not concerned about meting out punishment–the driver obviously needed help–but without any consequences for remorselessly taking out a cherished family pet, what might the driver do in the future?
Still, this story comes early and Bowen otherwise capably builds a case for going complaint-free, even as he notes how tough it is. Most people take 8-10 months before they get to 21 days in a row (the number of days was chosen as Bowen says it’s how long it takes for something to become a habit).
There really isn’t an effective counter-argument to be made for going complaint-free, unless you see anger, negativity and bitterness as strengths. Maybe if you’re The Incredible Hulk.
The book itself is a quick, easy read, and the stories shared by others are all so positive you can’t help but feel compelled to at least try. Being very much a “get it down in writing” kind of guy, I would have liked a bit more on the nuts and bolts of going complaint-free, and some of Bowen’s advice for dealing with complaint triggers is presented a bit glibly (“Get a new job! Drop your friends! Spend less time with your family!”), even if the advice is ultimately accurate.
Going complaint-free, especially with the veritable storm of negativity the media surrounds us with every day, is an immense challenge, but Bowen makes the reward sound worth it. Recommended.
