Cold turkey crackers (and chocolate and other snacks)

It is time I faced a certain reality: I like shoving things into my face–specifically, snack-type things which go into my mouth, then to my stomach, then to the fat reserves around the mid-section of my body, which are now sufficient to sustain me through several winters.

Although my weight has been starting to trend back in the right direction recently, it is moving downward at a pace I would describe as extremely gradual. Given my current weight loss goal, my on-a-napkin calculation is I will reach that goal when I am 576 years old.

While I hope to live a long and fruitful life, I suspect I will not live top be 500+. But science has worked miracles before.

Barring scientific miracles, I need a new plan, and here it is:

Going cold turkey on all snacks. This starts tomorrow, as I’m considering the last two weeks of August to be a trial period of sorts. Here are the rules I have invented:

  • No snacks at all. This includes:
    • crackers
    • cookies
    • muffins
    • strudel things
    • potato chips
    • chocolate bars
    • Turkish Delight
    • brownies
    • donuts
    • even things that are technically not donuts, but are really donuts, like chocolate eclairs
    • anything else that is high calorie, comes in a bag and is not exactly “natural”
  • One exception: the chocolate I share with my partner each night as a ritual sort of thing (he started it, I am not as big on ritual sort of things, but when they include chocolate, I am more willing). These are 46 calories each, which is not too bad.
  • Cheat days? No! No cheat days! Cheating is not just wrong, it weakens my resolve, because a little cheating leads to a little more cheating and suddenly the pantry is devoid of all snacks.
  • If not full cheat days, how about an occasional cheat, but only if I exercise enough that same day to cover three times the calorie cost? So a 100 calorie snack would require me to burn off an extra 300 calories to make up for it. This seems like a reasonable approach and I may hold it in reserve, but for now, I am still in the NO camp, because it’s too easy to snack, promise to workout, then whoops, I forgot to workout and it’s too late now oh well.

I figure for this to work I need to have two things ready to go:

  • Snack substitutes. I figure peas and carrots will do, along with the occasional banana or other piece of fruit. Small cubes of cheese might be okay, but that can lead to a calvalanche, because cheese is yummy.
  • An immediate counter-action to take when the urge to snack hits. I have a few things I can try:
    • Drink water
    • Meditate
    • Listen to a favorite song to distract myself
    • Write 300-500 words about anything, as long as it isn’t a lovingly detailed description of blueberry cheesecake
    • Go for a walk of suitable length
    • The above could also include hitting the treadmill
    • Play a game
    • Take a shower. Not a cold shower, just a shower

We’ll see how long this bold new plan works. Today I stepped on the scale and was 175.8 pounds, 25.8 pounds away from my target of 150. We’ll see what the scale says in two weeks.

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