Back in the old days writers used to face hazards like getting lead poisoning from pencils, being stabbed by critics with ivory-handled fountain pens or getting eaten by a bear, as writers would often be forced to write outside to have sufficient light and bears were pretty much everywhere back then.
By comparison today’s writers have it pretty easy. We have computers to write with. We have delete keys. We have indoor lights and doors that can lock and keep out bears. But there are still perils to writing, even in this modern age of flying cars and zero calorie sodas.
This week I could not work on my writing on my lunch break, even though I took my laptop with me to work every day and it was in perfect working order. What prevented me from writing? Was it a sudden zombie apocalypse? Did aliens blanket the world with rays that prevented the normal operation of all electronic devices? A little of both?
No, it was perhaps worse than these things. The wireless network was acting flaky, forcing me to use my laptop in scary offline mode. Suddenly the world was at my fingertips but instead of offering a bounty of knowledge and diversion it offered stony silence. Not to mention plenty of “this page cannot be displayed”. No big deal normally (lie) but I keep my writing in the cloud, specifically the very popular Dropbox. With no wireless access my Dropbox folder was inert. Sure, I could have made my important stuff available for offline mode but that sort of planning (like outlines) is for losers.
The thought of writing something entirely new from scratch this early in the new year was too frightening and so I simply ate my lunch and listened to ABBA. Somewhere Harlan Ellison was laughing at me as he finished another handwritten page in one of his many legal pads.
But you wait. When the zombie apocalypse does arrive, what do you think will be more effective in braining a zombie? My computer or Harlan’s legal pad?
Exactly.
