How not to play a single player game

A week or so ago I decided to actually start playing one of those single player computer games. You know, like they used to make back in the old days before the Internet and MMOs and Farmville. For this bold adventure I chose Dark Messiah of Might and Magic, a slightly older title I had picked up for a pittance ($2.49) during last winter’s Steam sale.

I set all the controls to my personal and wacky preferences, then dove in. The opening level serves as a tutorial, instructing you on the basics of fighting (tip: kick, a lot), climbing ropes, mantling, using your handy night vision and so on. At the end I am treated to a cutscene in which the wizard Phenrig (who narrates your journey through the tutorial area) instructs you on your task, which is to journey to the city of Stonehelm and deliver a magic crystal because Plot Device {magic crystal}. Accompanying the protagonist will be a slinky spirit named Xana because this is a video game and the designers are obligated to include a ‘sexy babe’. As long as she doesn’t get in my way, I’m good.

I have not saved at this point because it’s just the tutorial. I expect the game to auto-save after the cutscene, when the story begins proper.

Instead the game crashes.

I have not tried playing since.

This is one of the reasons my backlog of single player games is immense.

I’m going to try Portal 2 next.

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