Run 521
Average pace: 5:31/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CW)
Start: 1:47 pm
Distance: 10.02 km
Time: 55:27
Weather: Partly cloudy
Temp: 19-21ºC
Humidity: 57%
Wind: light to moderate
BPM: 156
Weight: 158.7 pounds
Total distance to date: 4053 km
Devices: Apple Watch, iPhone
Today is not a run day but I whimsically ran anyway, for two reasons:
- After doing some tidying up of the junk in the living room, I feared I would be hit by LSS (Lazy Sunday Syndrome) and spend the rest of the afternoon sitting on my butt and doing very little of anything besides fulfilling basic bodily functions (more on those later).
- With an actual shower last night and cooler temperatures today it was a chance to run in Real Weather™ and I just couldn’t resist.
So off I went in early afternoon (wholly inadvisable during the heatwave), first thinking I’d do a 5K on the river, then a 5K at the lake and finally what evolved into a full 10K at the lake.
My start was much stronger than the last few runs, though I almost collided at the first corner thanks to a shirtless jogger ignoring the “run/walk on the right” rule. I had to get out of his way. I saw him later and he was on the right side of the trail, so he may be one of those joggers who cuts in to take a corner, which is actually more dumb than just running on the left side of the trail. Also, being topless did not make him sexy.
Not long after that I encountered a dope on a bike (I now reflexively tell these people, “Bikes aren’t allowed on the trail” as I run by. I expect it to have no effect, but even if it makes them feel a tiny bit bad, it’s worth it). At this point I’m thinking maybe running on an “off” day was not a great idea. And indeed I encounter still more cyclists later. I chalk this mostly up to it being a Sunday. I haven’t run Sundays for awhile and today provided some guidance on why I would not miss doing so.
My improved pace did mean I was pushing hard, with a slightly higher BPM, and by the last few km I was slowing down, but my overall pace was still 5:31/km, not only besting my previous 10K by ten seconds, but also making it my best 10K of the year. All I had to do was wait for the terrible weather to end!
Speaking of weather, it was still fairly humid but it was a clean humidity, for lack of a better word. I sweated but not nearly as much as I have been, and the only effects I felt were those from simply putting in a good effort. The sun poked out from time to time but it was mostly cloudy, which was nice, and there was often a good and slightly cool breeze blowing, which was just as nice. It was a doubleplus nice run, a great day for an Orwellian jog. Or something.
Something strange happened after I began walking back, though. Almost immediately I was hit with cramps all through my lower abdomen, all weird and gassy and rumbly and unpleasant. I had no idea why it was happening, but glad it happened after I’d finished the run. By the time I got onto the river trail it became clear–my bowel was at it again. Somehow my bowel has tuned itself so that running = pooping. This is not a good combination. Today it was off, which allowed me to finish the run without the runs (ho ho), but instead I suddenly found I had to go RIGHT NOW and without a restroom in sight. Just trees and such. You know, nature. Desperate, I channeled my inner bear, spotted a path leading down to the creek under the bridge and shambled down as quickly yet carefully as I could.
I picked my way through branches, careful not to go into the drink (it wasn’t deep, but why soak your feet if you don’t need to?) and found a spot that was sufficiently out of view from the bridge (I had spotted someone in the distance approaching from the other direction and felt no need to give them a full viewing). I barely (bearly?) had time to yoink down my shorts before a full scale evacuation commenced. In retrospect I may have eaten something that disagreed with me because the word “diarrhea” occurred to me later. Running + diarrhea is also not a good combination. I also realized that the spot I picked did in fact have an unobstructed view back to the bridge. Oops. I guess I could have pretended I was doing squats. No one saw, fortunately.
I felt much better after that but I admit I’m getting a little paranoid now. This is almost becoming a pattern now. I don’t want my body to associate running with relieving myself. I want the two to remain separate, as nature intended. I will have a stern talk with my butt and see how it goes. Or if it goes.
Still, this run was a nice return to seasonal conditions. Now I need to decide if I take a day off tomorrow in lieu or head out again and stick to my normal schedule.
