I do not recommend waiting 30 years between visits to your dentist.
My partner Jeff called his dentist and got me an emergency appointment today at 12:30 p.m. so they could look at and determine what to do with my infected ex-tooth (extract with prejudice seemed the only real option).
I wasn’t totally sure if they would look today and excavate later, but it became clear early on that time and tide and infected ex-teeth wait for no man.
Fortunately, dentistry has improved a good bit in the last 30+ years.
The dentist and assistant were both friendly and explained everything, especially after I voiced my unfocused anxiety that had kept me away as an adult. The chair now moves up and down with the press of a button. I’m pretty sure the last time I sat in one it was operated with a foot pedal and brute force.
Directly in front of me was a flat panel screen showing images of what appeared to be some rural area in South America. The people had nicer teeth than me, which I supposed was the point. Then an image of a steer staring into the camera came up and I was confused. I later learned the images were from work my (new) dentist had done in Central America. I am unclear if he worked on the steer. It wasn’t smiling.
The dentist acknowledged that old dentistry was pretty primitive (I think of McCoy exclaiming about the medieval medical technology seen in 20th century Earth in Star Trek IV) and carefully explained everything he was doing or would do and how it was way better than the old days.
The first step was to take an x-ray of the affected area. I was asked after if I wanted to see it and declined, because how could it not be grossbuckets? I don’t want to see gross things that are inside me, even if they are about to become outside me.
If you don’t like descriptions of dental work, stop reading now or skip to the last paragraph.
First he used a cotton swab to apply some topical numbing gel to the area that would be frozen. This helps reduce possible pain while getting the freezing shot, and indeed, I felt very little of anything as my mouth was frozen. A promising start.
After giving it five minutes to set, the work began. The dentist reassured me that it would be quick and relatively painless, thanks to the infection. Yes, this seems weird. He explained that teeth normally set their roots into the bone and used the analogy of fence posts in cement. Very tough to get out. However, the infection around my ex-tooth’s roots had basically turned what would be cement into goop. The three individual root pieces would come out easily.
And the first two did, popping out with no sensation at all.
I got jabbed with some more freezing at this point, and I did feel a little pain, for which both the dentist and assistant profusely apologized. I actually felt bad mumbling a complaint.
I also realize how super-tense my body was and made an effort to relax. I closed my eyes and couldn’t think of anything to distract myself with, so I just kept them closed and focused on not making my body an unbending board.
The third root was a little trickier to get to. I heard sounds in my mouth I don’t like hearing. I tasted something gross. I’m not sure what it was, but they apologized again and suctioned it out.
The suction was very weird. They told me to clamp my mouth on it for maximum effectiveness, but when I did it felt like it wanted to pull out my insides. It didn’t hurt or anything, it was just strange. I want to say it sucked, but I’d never do that.
The third root came out and the dentist poked around a bit more, removing some of the infected tissue, to help speed healing. He advised me I would probably want to take the T3’s I’d be given, though the assistant offered that Advil could work, too, with the bonus of not messing with my stomach or mind.
I took the T3 when I got home.
The work was complete within half an hour or so and I left with gauze clenched on the left side of my mouth. It’s out now and I don’t think it’s bleeding, but I have more gauze just in case. The freezing has mostly worn off now, so the puffy face look has diminished.
I was told to eat soft food today and be careful with hot/cold food or beverages over the next few days. I can brush tonight, but not swirl anything around in my mouth. Using a straw is forbidden in the same way turning 31 was in Logan’s Run.
Now I wait for the pain as the numbing wears off, to see how effective the T3 is, and I anticipate the soft eggs or soup or whatever it is I’m having for dinner.
And I’ll be making an appointment for a regular check-up like I should have done 30+ years ago.
Overall, not exactly a delightful experience, but definitely not as bad as I’d expected.
