Of late, I’ve found myself getting too easily upset about things, whether it’s the collapse of democracy, milk prices going up again or our local strata council making silly decisions. I get tense. I get angry. I utter profane things under my breath. Sometimes over my breath, too. I don’t sleep as well. I could be incubating an ulcer, for all I know.
I made the decision that I needed to change how I react to stressful events over concerns of both my mental and physical well-being. I had some ideas:
- Meditation. I have thought about this many times, but I am rejecting it, because my brain just doesn’t work in a way that would easily allow meditation. You may think this is a cop-out, and you may be right. But I make the rules here and my ever-busy brain says find another way.
- Exercise. Well, I do that, and it helps. Just not enough. I can’t exercise all the time, though if I did, maybe I’d develop mutant powers, so I won’t rule this out entirely.
- Fingers in ears, saying, “La la la!” I like the simplicity, but I’d probably need to be seven years old for it to be truly effective, and evidence suggests my aging is not reversing.
- Mindfulness training. Basically, learning a bunch of techniques to better train your brain to cope. It can be quite effective, but I’m lazy and looking for a quick fix. I’ll use this as a last resort.
And finally, my chosen solution, after rewatching the Harry Enfield sketch, “Women: Know Your Limits!”
When something upsets me, I’ll now say the following, either to myself or unwitting recipients nearby:
I don’t know anything about the gold standard [substitute upsetting item here in place of “gold standard”], I’m afraid, but I do love little kittens. They’re soft and furry.
That’s right, I’m just going to dismiss reality. It can’t upset me if I take no heed of it. I know my limits! My mind will be ever-full of kittens, so soft and furry.
Here is the sketch for reference:
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