Unpacking colourways

English is a weird language because it cribs shamelessly from every other language and constantly breaks its own rules, making it difficult to pick up for non-native speakers and, well, native speakers, too.

It is, like any living language, constantly evolving and adding new words, some of them kinda dumb (like finfluencer, which sounds like an Instagram for fish seeking to be more beautiful, but is actually just a portmanteau for “financial influencer” which is so boring that zzz….), some of them inevitable (metaverse), and some that feel like they’ve always been words (janky).

Repurposed words or catchy phrases rise up in popular usage much more rapidly now, with the internet all over the place messing things up. Where once it might have taken years for “give no fucks” to enter the popular lexicon (at least in impolite company), now it gets memed to death after a couple of weeks.

Which brings me to unpacking colourways.

What is a colourway? According to my browser’s dictionary pop-up tool: “Any of a range of combinations of colours in which a style or design is available.” That is 16 words to describe just one: colours. And yet people constantly use colourway now to sound hip and in the moment. “The new MacBook Air comes in four colourways.” No, it comes in four colours. There is no meaningful distinction between colourway and colour. Go ahead and find an instance of colourway and substitute colour. It will always work because colourway is used by dopes trying to sound cool. Or whatever word is being used for “cool” now.

Then we have unpacking, or to unpack. Once it meant “open and remove the contents of (a suitcase, bag, or package).” But now it also means to explain something. You can see how this evolved to get the new meaning. Having a lot of stuff to unpack requires time, patience and care (unless you hire a gorilla to unpack for you, in which case it is quick, chaotic and likely to involve a lot of shredding and damage). Unpacking something carefully and methodically can be used as a metaphor for doing the same with a non-tangible thing, like an ethical dilemma, or a big argument over colourways.

However logical this metaphorical extension of the word may seem, I’m still pretty sure you’ll still want to barf if you do a search to see how often the word is used everywhere and all the time. It went from zero to trite faster than you can say pumpkin spice latte.

So, final score:

  • Colourway: Don’t use this word, it makes you look like a guy from the 1980s wearing suspenders to be edgy and “with it”
  • Unpack: You can use this word if you want to fit in, since everyone else is using it. Or try to come up with the next “unpack” and make your own mark on the language!

The man who didn’t like stairs

The entrance of the New Westminster SkyTrain station this past Sunday as I went to my writing group:

The guy who wrote this (and come on, you know it was a guy) is probably great fun to work with. Or exist with.

Also, that lopsided “u” (if that’s even what it is) disturbs me in ways I can’t really explain, though the switch from upper case on the left to lower case on the right is not so much disturbing as it is odd. Also also, does this guy carry around felt markers just so he can scribe his colorful opinions in public whenever a thought strikes him? I’m willing to say yes, he does.

Also x3: I wish I had something witty to offer regarding the guy wiping his nose under the LIQUOR STORE sign, but alas, nothing comes to mind.

The Internet is now just the internet

The Verge has a story on how the Associated Press is no longer going to capitalize the word “Internet” as of June 1st. It made me realize I’ve always capitalized it, probably because everyone else did and it wasn’t one of those “Well, if all of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?” things where going along with the crowd was stupid or possibly fatal.

But now I too will change with the times and write of the internet as a thing and not a Thing.

I’m not, however, going to search and replace every instance of “Internet” on this blog, because that would be stupid (a pedantic waste of time) or possibly fatal (I’d likely feel like murdering something after doing this since AFAIK there’s no easy, global search and replace function).

The Web is also now just the web. Spider web, web of lies, internet web, all on equal footing now.

But does email still have a hyphen or not? (Turns out the AP removed the hyphen five years ago.)