Michael Stipe’s Hair: A Tragedy in Three Acts

Act I: Long, golden locks. A rock god, even if they airbrushed my face on album photos.

Act II: I’m not losing my hair, I just like hats. No, I love hats. You touch this hat, you die.

Act III: Hair is full of germs and a symbol of the patriarchy. Yeah, that’s it. I have shaved my head in protest. Coincidentally I no longer love hats.

Bonus Act: I grew a big, bushy crazy old man beard because why not?

Leave a Comment