I am going over the feedback for “Stop That Cow!” and working on that story’s second draft.
Once I’ve done that I’ll move on to the next story (TBD) and do the same. I’ll have this story chosen by next week’s update in my ongoing effort to have something new to report every week, no matter how trivial it may be.
After getting these two stories into shape as second drafts, and if I still have time before National Novel Writing Month commences, I may dive into writing one of the new stories for the collection since the worst that could happen is I produce something terrible, become horribly depressed and vow never to write again. But you never know until you try.
I don’t review movies much anymore but I’m offering a quick one for The Martian:
Go see it.
Based on the self-published book of the same name, this is a smart, funny and even touching movie that is grounded in believable science, telling the story of an astronaut stranded on Mars and the effort to rescue him. The cast is diverse and enjoyable, the script respects the intelligence of the audience and the visuals are as lush as you’d expect in a Ridley Scott film.
For a good long spell one of my favorite ways of developing a short story was not to think of a neat idea or character but rather to come up with a title and then fashion some kind of story to go with it. This is not a great way to produce rich, nuanced tales but I got a few decent ones from some rather dubious titles. “Learning to Die” is a simple play on the song “Learning to Fly” (Pink Floyd or Tom Petty version, take your pick) and that turned out nicely. I was going to offer another example or two but I seem to have forgotten the names. Yes, that’s it.
On the other hand, here are some titles so bland or plain terrible I have yet to turn the overwhelming majority of them into stories and hopefully never will. These are examples of what happens when brainstorms are more like intermittent showers. I’ve added notes for spice, variety and to in some tiny way justify another list post.
The list is honking long, so continue reading after the break.
I think Stephen King may write faster than I can read. From a Buick 8 is another of his novels that I did not read upon release and have gone back to years later, in the hope that I can eventually catch up to his output.
I’m undecided on the outcome of that.
From a Buick 8 is old school King as far as that goes–it’s classic horror, with a scary unknown thing at the heart of the story, and ordinary people pushed into extraordinary circumstances–but it’s well-crafted old school King.
As with Christine, a classic car is at the center of the shenanigans, this time a Buick Roadmaster abandoned at a gas station by a driver who disappears shortly after arriving. Unlike Christine, this particular vehicle is not haunted, it’s possibly from another dimension. The story focuses on Troop D of the Pennsylvania State Police, who impound the car and keep it in a shed out back of their barracks. Weird things happen in that shed, ranging from strangely diving temperatures to funky purple light shows and the appearance of things that live, briefly.
King starts the story in 1979 and flips back and forth between then and the present (2002, when the book was published), juggling the time periods effortlessly, shifting between first and third person as he does so. Hanging the story’s heart on the bereaved son of one of the officers killed in the line of duty provides the emotional core and King makes it pay out…then things get even more funky and weird when you think everything is about wrapped up.
While From a Buick 8 is not a deep or profound story, it’s a smooth, effortless ride (sorry) that expertly plays off the innate creepiness of so many toothy-grilled cars from the 1950s. Recommended for King fans and for anyone who enjoys an uncomplicated horror story.
After discussing it with a Trusted Source™ who has provided feedback on some stories, I’ve elected to tackle a rewrite of Stop That Cow! as the first major step in my renewed effort to get this collection out the door and into the wild, where it will be savaged by werewolves and witches and people who thought they were buying an underwear collection.
The same trusted source also felt Hello? was unworthy of the collection in its present state and after some discussion I came to the conclusion that a rewrite would involve too much work to be a worthwhile investment. The list of stories now looks like this (and is subject to further and possibly whimsical) changes:
Now that the days are growing shorter, colder and wetter, it seems the perfect time to resume running. I am tentatively planning my first run after two months of recovery for next weekend (October 3-4). It will be a 5K, I will jog at a timid pace and I will emerge uninjured. Or else.
Continuing the trek toward fifty inane writing prompts…
Write a story based on the song “Heartbreak Hotel” where staying at the hotel will cause your heart to rupture, resulting in a swift, painful death. Make it a romantic comedy.
You and your friends have gathered around the campfire to tell spooky stories. You begin to tell yours, “The Haunted Ketchup Packet.”
Electricity is a recent discovery. Think of 12 things to do while being electrocuted.
In 400 words, create your ideal pudding.
Begin a story with, “His unibrow had gained sentience, just as I feared it would.”
In 200 words, write about your first sexually transmitted disease.
Throw a rock at a little kid in the park, then write about your adventures in jail.
Godzilla and King Kong are finally getting married and you’ve been asked to write their wedding vows, then you kill them because they are big freaky monsters.
Write from the perspective of a smart car with a brain tumor. Make it a romantic comedy.
Using a time travel machine, the scientific genius fixes everything that was wrong with history. What sort of pants does he wear? How did they help him fix history?
As promised, here is the final selection of stories, first by category and next as a single, magical list of titles.
Definitely in:
Learning to Die
Slice of Life
The Cobalt Sensation
The Chicago 8 vs. Time
The Chicago 8 vs. Armageddon Hello?
The Lunch Gnome
The Dream of the Buckford County Church
Possibly in:
Cervidae
The Sometimes Island
At the Door
Killing Time Laura
The Graffiti Avenger
Lily Tries to Go Shopping Follow the Tracks Sammy Takes a Dive
Would require re-working/additional drafts:
The Broken Bridge
Stop That Cow!
Rainy Day Trolling for Fun and Profit The Invisible Weekend
Unfinished:
Dented World
The Box on the Bench
Not written:
Regina and the Shortcut with Teeth
Sanity Road/Bent Metal The Capitol Dome Swimmers and Fog
Picture This
And the full list below:
10 Pairs of Shorts
Learning to Die
Slice of Life
The Cobalt Sensation
The Chicago 8 vs. Time
The Chicago 8 vs. Armageddon
The Lunch Gnome
The Dream of the Buckford County Church
The Sometimes Island
At the Door
Killing Time
The Graffiti Avenger
Lily Tries to Go Shopping
The Broken Bridge
Stop That Cow!
Rainy Day
Dented World
The Box on the Bench
Regina and the Shortcut with Teeth
Sanity Road
Picture This
This makes for a grand total of twenty stories or ten pairs of shorts, a nice, even number.
My next weekly update will finalize the stories I want to work on completing next. I reserve the right to put this off if I win Wednesday’s $16 million 6/49 jackpot.
The debate is whether I want to participate this year or skip it.
Pros:
if I’m in a writing lull at the time (November 1, to be exact) it’s a great way to kickstart things
I commit to a longer work that I may not have otherwise (short stories are so much easier because they’re, well, short)
the camaraderie of toiling along with other NaNoWriMo participants is nice
seeing the word count go up every day is more satisfying than it has any right to be
Cons:
if I’m in the middle of a writing project, the necessary pause for NaNoWriMo can derail it
a novel written in 30 days is usually not very good
it’s easy to write 50,000 words in a blur; rewriting them takes almost the same effort as writing another book
the camaraderie only takes you so far
my NaNoWriMo bio is never as clever or witty as I want it to be
In the end I’ll probably take part if the first item in the Pro list is happening come November. NaNoWriMo is a great way to get rolling on some steady output when work/life/the universe has otherwise snuffed out your enthusiasm and smothered your muse with a pillow borrowed from the Chief in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
I first read this book when it was originally published in paperback in 1988. That was literally half a lifetime ago, as I was 24 at the time. Over the last few years I’ve been returning to some of the books I read in my teens and 20s, to see how they resonate with me now that I am older, if not entirely wiser.
The first thing to strike me upon re-reading this book 27 years later is that I could recall nothing of the story. I mean, yes, I knew there was a detective named Dirk Gently, I knew it was a bit weird and froopy in that Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sort of way, but I could not recall any real plot details at all, nor any of the characters. I vaguely remembered something about cats. Cats are mentioned several times, though they play no significant role in the novel. I think I just like cats and projected.
The plot is a convoluted affair that unfolds like some complicated contraption you can’t recognize until it’s finished unfolding itself. You then stand back and say, “Aha, so that’s what it is!” Despite the narrative being at turns mysterious and then more mysterious still, Adams keeps events moving along briskly and the characters are more nuanced than in Hitchhiker’s, while still apt to say clever things we could only wish to come up with in our daily conversations. Eventually the mysteries come clear–the story is a time travel/ghost/romantic comedy of sorts that follows a few very peculiar days in the life of a software engineer who can’t remove a stuck sofa from his staircase–and all ends well, given the previously unrevealed cosmic scale of the stakes at hand.
What impresses me most about the book, and this may seem an odd thing to say in context of Adams, is how mature the writing is. There are ideas on the interplay of math, science, art, philosophy, mortality and more here, handled with wit and grace and occasionally genuine pathos (the scenes of Gordon Way after his meeting with the electric monk stand out vividly in their depiction of despair and sadness). I suspect when I was 24 most of this was lost on me, as I was expecting a Hitchhiker’s retread, which Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency is very much not. Unfulfilled, my brain apparently flushed nearly all memory of the book, to better make room for all that great late 80s music and fashion. I forgot Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency but remember parachute pants.
I very much recommend this novel for those not needing their stories filled with car chases and instant gratification, or for anyone who has ever been flummoxed by seemingly immovable furniture.
Yes, a weekly update to guilt me into making progress at least once every seven days or face the self-imposed shame of having not done so*.
My current task is to finally set down the actual stories to include based on how well they fit together, quality (fewer and better is preferable to the alternative), current state (third draft vs. unfinished, etc.) and so forth. Here’s how they stand now:
Definitely in:
Learning to Die
Slice of Life
The Cobalt Sensation
The Chicago 8 vs. Time
The Chicago 8 vs. Armageddon
Hello?
The Lunch Gnome
The Dream of the Buckford County Church
Possibly in:
Cervidae
The Sometimes Island
At the Door
Killing Time
Laura
The Graffiti Avenger
Lily Tries to Go Shopping
Follow the Tracks
Sammy Takes a Dive
Would require re-working/additional drafts:
The Broken Bridge
Stop That Cow!
Rainy Day
Trolling for Fun and Profit
The Invisible Weekend
Unfinished:
Dented World
The Box on the Bench
Not written:
Regina and the Shortcut with Teeth
Sanity Road/Bent Metal
The Capitol Dome
Swimmers and Fog
Picture This
Not included:
Green Revolution
Hot Dog
Noises
Sing, Toaster, Sing
The Downside
Transformations
The Amorphous Baby
A Pod with a View
Big Green Monster That Sat on Cleveland
Downside
The Little Boy Who Rode a Green Bike
The “Not Written” category consists of story ideas and in some cases actual scenes. I’d probably only include something from this group if I really felt the collection was going to be too short. The chance of the collection being too short is zero, however, so these are really more “ideas to pursue at some vague time in the future.”
The “Not Included” stories are unfinished, don’t fit well or are just plain not very good, but I wrote them and considered them.
Having a solid base of eight stories to start with is encouraging. The next weekly update will be The Great Winnowing and Final Selection. After that, maybe some actual writing.
* given the microscopically tiny readership of this blog, it would definitely be self-imposed shame. The Jetpack plugin informs me that yesterday, September 11, 2015, this site had zero visitors. According to science you can’t get lower views than that without some kind of quantum trickery.
