My life as a single-cell organism

In the game Spore you start out as a single-cell creature swimming and surviving in the primordial soup. You then evolve through a number of other stages before ultimately achieving space travel. From there, if I understand correctly, you go on to conquer the universe. Who am I to argue with evolution?

These are my impressions of the first part of Spore, the Cell Phase. I will follow up with impressions on the other phases as I move through them.

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Spore starts you out like a teenager in junior high school. You have a mouth, an overwhelming desire to eat and procreate and you’re tossed in with a bunch of others who will either flirt with you or beat you up.

The cell phase begins with you naming the organism that you will nurture and grow until its descendents can eventually conquer the universe in the far-flung future. I name my squiggly little guy Bob because I’m a fan of palindromes and Bob is a simple name for a simple guy. He’s single-celled, after all. My first big decision is whether to go herbivore or carnivore. Later you can switch-hit and become an omnivore, which  seems to have all the perks of herbivore and carnivore and no drawbacks. Going omnivore is like being at an all-you-can-eat buffet and liking everything you see, even that curious-looking macaroni salad that may not actually be macaroni. Choosing carnivore seems well-suited for dealing with competing cells  – just eat them! Herbivore feels like the underdog of this primordial soup. You eat the little bits of plant life you can find, assuming some pushy omnivore doesn’t get to them first – or decide that you look tastier instead. The carnivores, of course, only want to eat you.

Bob, evolved

I choose herbivore because I like rooting for the little guy. I give Bob a filter mouth suitable for eating the plant bits and a couple of flagella so he can swim around. He is ready to start evolving!

Bob quickly discovers just how harsh this cell vs. cell world is. The vegetable buds drifting through the water are scarce and there’s usually some mean-looking thing that has evolved into having Bob-crushing jaws hanging out nearby. The other herbivores also seem to have a metaphorical leg-up (actual legs come in the next phase) with little fins that let them swim faster to the food and chow down before Bob can. Bob perseveres, though, and eats enough plant matter to advance his DNA, not to mention his progress bar. He gets access to a mating call and by using it finds himself snuggling up with a doe-eyed cell.

This leads to the Cell Creator screen where the accumulated DNA can be traded in for various new body parts. I have minimal funds, so to speak, and decide that the best defense is a strong offense. Bob buys a nasty pair of spikes for the top of his “head”. If some other cell tries to give him the business, all he needs to do is hit ramming speed and they’ll be sorry!

To complement his new spikes, Bob also adds a pair of fin-like appendages that will allow him to turn faster, providing better control in the treacherous currents that he must ply.

When Bob returns to his existence of eating and hopefully not dying, he finds that life continues to be cruel. He may have spikes and fins now, but the other cells have poison, electricity and mouths the size of a city block to eat everything in sight. My brave little cell finds himself at one point sandwiched between two cell behemoths. I use the word sandwich deliberately, because that is what he became in short order.

Fortunately, in Spore death is a minor setback, as Bob simply respawns. With some nimble swimming he manages to find and eat enough buds to evolve his DNA to a level where he can grow legs. For a single- celled organism, legs are a pretty big deal. Bob is excited. He can now leave the water and start a new life on land, a life where he quietly hopes everything isn’t waiting to fry, poison or eat him.

The Young and the Runless

Okay, I’m pushing it on the young part, but I am getting rather restless not running. It’s been over two weeks since my last run and there is no detectable pain in my left leg, no matter how I poke and prod it. The worst I can manage is a bit of a tweak when I lift the lower leg up at a 90 degree angle, holding it horizontal. It still doesn’t hurt, it just doesn’t feel the same as my right leg. But that is enough to make me hesitate. Still, I think about going down to the park for a test to see how it feels. If I just run a short distance I should be able to tell if it’s still in recovery mode without exacerbating the injury.

Or I could just bide my time for another two weeks and not risk it.

It should be an easy decision but it’s really not.

Stupid leg.

Review: Iron Man 2

Iron Man 2 is the first of the big summer releases for 2010 and has already made a zillion dollars in its opening weekend, as Box Office Mojo reports. I had not read any reviews before going in but from headlines and such the gist seemed to be “not as good as the first one”, which is probably not surprising, since the original was a lot better than many would have expected.

And I’d agree. It was fun, not as sharp as the first, but still very entertaining. Robert Downey Jr. continues to play the role of Tony Stark with perfect comic timing. The supporting cast is generally solid, although Rhodes, now played by Don Cheadle, seems a bit more straight-laced than when he was played by Terence Howard. Mickey Rourke is a hulking revenge-seeking Russian physicist, ex-Siberian prisoner and apparent master hacker, breaking encrypted systems with a few deft taps on a keyboard. Movie computers must use ‘password’ or ‘abc123’ as passwords or something. Sam Rockwell plays Justin Hammer as an evil buffoon, sort of the underachieving younger brother gone down the wrong path. While never generating any actual menace, he is regularly amusing (and annoying). Garry Shandling is brilliantly cast as a supercilious senator investigating the Iron Man and he clearly relished playing the acerbic character, sort of a callback to his Larry Sanders days, but even less likable (he is playing a politician, after all).

The story is pretty simple — bad guy seeks revenge on Iron Man — and the final mano-a-mano-a-mano battle ends rather abruptly, but things move along at a brisk pace and the cast seem to be genuinely enjoying themselves, so it’s hard not to get swept up in the fun.

The science, as always, is pure comic book (read: nonsensical) and people who pick it apart are missing the point by the proverbial country mile. It’s like attacking the accuracy of the doomsday scenario in 2012.

The effects are quite good, as one would expect, and there’s another teaser at the end of the credits, just as with the first movie. The credits, by the way, would have been shorter by listing the people who had not worked on the movie. Ay caramba, the size of the crew on the movie was bigger than Tony Stark’s ego.

Captain America’s shield had an awesome cameo.

Iron Man 2 is not a great movie, but it is great fun. Recommended.

Dear Tiger: Shut up (also, today’s run)

Today was my first run in a week and I was a bit worried because I could feel The Spot in my leg even as I walked down to the park.

15ºC, cloudy and a moderate wind blowing. The trail was in good shape, only one other jogger briefly sharing the path with me.

By about the 3 km point I could definitely feel the sore spot in my left leg acting up. I even briefly felt a bolt of pain race up from The Spot to about my knee, possibly by landing on it just right (or wrong). That’s the bad news. The good news is it didn’t bother me enough to hamper my run significantly but I still chose to err on the side of caution and end it at 5k instead of doing a full 10. I’ll try for 10 again on Monday. The other good news(ish) part is the leg doesn’t feel nearly as bad after the run as it did last Friday. I’d probably be fine without icing it, though I’m going to do that, anyway. So I am moderately encouraged overall. Oh, and my times were much better this Friday than last, with my average pace a full six seconds better (5:16 vs. 5:22).

And the title of this post is not a plea for Tiger to not go on Oprah and blubber out another sincere apology for ‘indiscretions’ but rather for him to stop piping in on the iPod at the end of my runs. Today — for the third time in about as many weeks — he came on to congratulate me for running another 250 miles. First, I’m tracking my distance in km, not miles, you backwards silly American and second, running 750 miles would be really impressive. Superhuman, even (I’ve run a little over 450 km).

Results:

Distance: 5.03 km
Overall average pace: 5:16
1st km: 5:03
2nd km: 5:06
3rd km: 5:09
4th km: 5:12
5th km: 5:16

The No run

Today I was planning on resuming my running and in fact after extensive poking and prodding of the sore part of my leg I could no longer feel any pain. However, I’ve decided to be more cautious this time and will wait till Friday instead. That will put me a week between runs, which shouldn’t make it too hard to get back into the routine again. I’m hoping I’ll finally be able to put all this nonsense behind me and just focus on the actual running part.

Now on dailymile (or daily1.6km if you prefer)

Using the buddy system for encouragement and support, I am now on dailymile and have made friends with a couple of Quarter to Three regulars, Jamie Madigan and Ephraim. It is not without irony that I note that now that I have an ‘audience’ I have been running piddly short runs and skipping days because of a tender shin.

I am hoping to get back into a regular routine of 10ks starting tomorrow (Wednesday).

Smoke run

Cloudy skies, 13ºC and little wind on today’s run.

I knew I was in trouble when I could feel my left leg acting up on the brisk walk down to the park. Although the soreness seemed manageable by the time I got to the 5 km mark, I decided to cut the run short to be on the safe side.

Perhaps fearing rain, the park was nearly devoid of people. I had the trail entirely to myself for the first 3 km. Other than the leg, I again felt fine. I iced it for a good long while after getting home (ironically reading Runner’s World as I did so) and while it remains sore I can’t say it actually is painful, more annoying. Nonetheless I am taking the weekend off and will see how it feels on Monday. I made need to give it more time to fully recover.

While the park did not smell of manure today, there was the distinct scent of a wood fire drifting through one area. I’m not sure why someone would light a fire on such a mild day but as I’m fond of saying, people are weird.

Results:

Distance: 5.04 km
Overall average pace: 5:22
1st km: 5:12 (another tentative start)
2nd km: 5:15
3rd km: 5:17
4th km: 5:19
5th km: 5:22

The one positive I take away is that my pace was fairly consistent, so I don’t think I’m running on an actual injury. But I’ll be cautious for now.

The manure run

It was cloudy, 10ºC and a light but cool breeze blowing for today’s run.

I began tentatively again, though my first km time was surprisingly decent. After the first few km the tender spot on my left leg began to flare up but it never became painful, just sore. By the midway point I had adjusted to it and the back half of my run was very consistent. Without the leg bothering me I’m sure I could have knocked at least five seconds off my average pace. As it was, 5:30/km is still 4 seconds faster than my first post-injury 10k, so I’m pleased with that.

After the run, I did the usual stretching and had my protein drink, then slapped an ice pack on the leg for half an hour or so. It makes a difference!

The manure part was the distinct aroma pretty much throughout the park. I never did find the source of the stink and it was a tad distracting until I hit the runner’s high and suddenly it didn’t matter anymore. Speaking of which, my stamina was fine for the whole run, which was also nice.

Results:

Total distance: 10.02 km (previous: 10.02 km)
Average time/km: 5:30/km (previous: 5:30/km)
Best time/km: 5:04/km (previous: 5:10/km)

Review: House

This past Sunday I saw the movie House at Pacific Cinematheque, the first time I’ve been back to that theatre in many years. It was a bit muggy inside and it’s only mid-April. Perhaps it is a way for them to claim “hot movies” without having to rely on the quality of the film itself to back up the statement.

In any case, a recent acquaintance who volunteers there and at Vancity Theatre, was able to procure free tickets, so it was risk-free. I bought a bottle of water at the concession to assuage my guilt over not paying, as is my way, knowing full well my bladder would be scolding me in short order for having done so.

House is a 1977 Japanese horror film. There are clips of various scenes on YouTube and I had actually seen one such scene last year without having any idea what the context of it was. As with many scenes in the movie, it is pretty unmistakable. In this case, one of the school girls is getting her head chomped by a large lampshade.

Considering its age, the film surprisingly does not look particularly dated, mainly due to the timeless Japanese schoolgirl look. The story revolves around seven schoolgirls, each deliberately named after her defining characteristic (Gorgeous is beautiful, Melody plays the piano, Kung Fu – well, you can probably figure it out) going to Gorgeous’s creepy old aunt’s house for the summer after their original vacation plans fall apart. A freaky white cat with magic eyes, a dancing skeleton and the aunt herself play host to a macabre series of events that claim the girls one by one.

House is relentlessly energetic – the characters are constantly laughing and chattering with each other, even while their numbers dwindle as the house claims them, and the score plays near constantly in the background. As things continue to go terribly wrong for the girls, the ebullient tone of the film shifts toward traditional horror and it becomes more deliberately weird and disturbing. It never fully succumbs to being ‘serious’ fare, though. You can only draw so much solemn symbolism from a piano eating a girl or a man in a dune buggy that gets turned into a giant pile of bananas.

Visually, the film matches its audio portion, with an array of effects, filters and stylized painted backgrounds. Moments get played forward and back, one character has a constant breeze softly lifting her scarf for effect no matter where she goes.

My only real complaint here was the tone shift doesn’t fully work. You can’t really lay out something so utterly silly and then try to make it serious but House doesn’t try too hard, so it’s only a minor criticism. House is easy to recommend for the energy and striking composition alone. It is a wonderful piece of over-the-top storytelling that full embraces the medium of film and just has fun with it.

In Japanese with English subtitles.

It hurts when I do this

Today it was a glorious 20ºC and sunny for my jog, with only a light breeze blowing. And Tiger Woods did not cogratulate me for a third time for completing another 250 miles. That was the good news.

The bad news is the tender spot on the lower right shin on my left leg was still quite raw, hampering my run and resulting in a sluggish 5k. Weirdly, my time on the second km was actually one second faster than the first, the first time that’s ever happened. My overall times for the run were fairly consistent, despite the annoyance of the leg.

Perhaps even more annoying than the state of my left leg was the group of people with their dogs that decided the trail was a good place to just stand around, despite having, you know, an entire park at their disposal. But no, they were compelled to stay on the path, motionless. As I approached on one lap, I had to steer left and off the trail to avoid them and predicatbly, as I did this one of them decided at the exact same moment to start backing up and nearly collided with me, anyway. People, you have brains, you have sentience, use these things to realize that the world does not end at your nose. There are other people around you. Really! Yeesh.

I’ll be icing my leg and seeing how it feels in two days. I suspect it will need more time to recover, but I’m hoping that it’s more sore than actually injured.

Results:

Total distance: 5:02 km
Average pace: 5:28/km
1st km: 5:18
2nd km: 5:17
3rd km: 5:19
4th km: 5:24
5th km: 5:28

Congrats on my first run (of the day)

A balmy 14ºC on today’s run under cloudy skies and with moderate wind. At about the halfway point it started to spit but it never amounted to more than that. The trail was a bit softer due to rain but was still dry, apart from one tiny puddle.

Because of the wind I tried out my new cap today. The other one is not adjustable and because it doesn’t fit my head perfectly a good gust of wind can lift it off. While chasing after a cap is a form of exercise unto itself, it’s not one I really want to schedule in as part of my routine. 😛

Tye cap did its job. I never felt the wind tugging at it, so yay for that.

This was my first 10k in 24 days so I expected a slower time and got it: 5:34/km. Not bad, though. I started out very tentatively and it shows in the first km coming in at 5:10. The middle stretch felt a bit sluggish and it shows in the times but the final km were remarkably consistent, which is encouraging for the days to come.

Tiger Woods congratulated me again for completing yet another 250 miles. At this pace I’ll have run the equivalent of coast to coast across Canada in a few days, according to him. The Nike+ site also congratulated me on my first run (see below). Fortunately my actual stats are still in the system.

Results:

Total distance: 10.02 km (previous: 10.02 km)
Average time/km: 5:34/km (previous: 5:26/km)
Best time/km: 5:10/km (previous: 5:02/km)

Return of the Eye of the Tiger (actually, just the voice)

It is sunny and dare I say actually warm today so I was inspired to do something I have not done in nearly a year of running — run on consecutive days. I know that makes me not hardcore or something, but there you have it.

Today I went all out, though. Or halfway out, at least, doing another 5K run. I felt fine during the run and feel fine after — no pain and the only soreness is from overnight, when three weeks of not running caught up with all those unstretched leg muscles. I suspect they’ll be a bit stiff tomorrow, too, but it wasn’t anything that affected the run itself.

The temperature rose to an early spring high of 15ºC and the wind also picked up, strong enough at times to tug at my cap. I hate that. The sun felt very distinctly warm but not hot. It was pretty nice, overall. The same jogger was on the trail from yesterday, running clockwise, a compact woman in her early 20s who apparently manages to breathe through her nose as her mouth appeared to be clamped firmly shut every time she passed me. To a non-runner this may sound like no big thing but to me, there is absolutely no way I could take in enough air through my nose to keep me going while jogging. Maybe I just have small nostrils. Not that hers were flaring like a bull’s. Anyway, it seemed odd, so I mention it.

I improved considerably over yesterday’s pace without consciously trying. I just worked at a steady, natural gait. The shock came at the end — not when I got the stats on my run but hearing the voice of Tiger Woods congratulating me for the first time since the whole scandal broke last November. With him back golfing and having done the live TV confession thing, it may be that Apple and Nike thought it was time to let him speak again to all the joggers plugged into the Nike+ doohickey. For the record, he said, “Tiger here. You’ve completed 250 miles, way to go.” It was nice, if a little late — I had passed 250 miles on yesterday’s run.

A remarkable 12 second improvement in my overall pace. I definitely shook off the cobwebs today.

Full stats (yesterday’s times in parentheses):

Total distance: 5.03 km (5:04 km)
Overall average pace: 5:21/km (5:33/km)
1st km: 5:05 (5:12)
2nd km: 5:10 (5:20)
3rd km: 5:15 (5:25)
4th km: 5:18 (5:29)
5th km: 5:21 (5:33)