Sometimes I get a jolt of self-awareness, except it’s not really a jolt, it’s more something that gently pops to the fore of my thinking and I ponder it for a moment.
For example, yesterday after finishing my shortened run, I was walking along the top of the Cariboo Dam, which has railings on both sides and is fairly narrow, except for an expanded middle section where one can stand and look for herons. As I began walking across, I noticed a jogger coming down the path from the entrance to the park. The jogger might go straight and head counter-clockwise down the lake trail, or they might hook left, cross the dam and go clockwise instead. I wasn’t sure, but I figured I’d play it safe and paused in the enlarged area midway across the dam, so the runner could easily pass.
The runner did indeed ascend the stairs and ran across the top of the dam. Once she passed, I resumed my walk out of the park.
A simple thing, but it required me to observe what was happening and then change what I was doing for a few moments, to make things a little easier for someone else, in this case a person I did not know and would likely never see again. Am I patting myself metaphorically on the back for being a nice person?
Yes.
Am I doing it to puff up my own ego? No.
I point it out because this thought process occurs automatically to me. Did I inherit it from my parents? To a degree, I’d say yes. They were both kind and thoughtful people who helped others, so I am, in a way, carrying that forward.
But I also think this is how I’m wired. While there are people out there who might clear the way for the jogger, I wonder how many would see the jogger and calculate the possible results and, in a way, pre-accommodate her by moving out of the way before it was known if it would even be needed? Kind of like being pre-nice. Not many is my hunch, but it is just a hunch.
I wish more people could look at situations like this and react the same way I did. I’m an imperfect mess, but I try to pay attention and I always try to be kind to others. And as the last few days have underscored to me, there are people out there that calculatedly do the opposite, who seem to enjoy architecting misery in others in order to preserve what they’ve got. It makes me sad. It makes me a little angry, too, but mostly just sad.
Try to be thoughtful, try to be kind.