random fire alarms

You know it’s vacation when the fire department arrives

My annual summer vacation began yesterday (technically it begins tomorrow, but I prefer a holistic view of vacation, which is a fancy way of saying I count every day off as part of the vacation, including weekends I would normally be off anyway). Yesterday I cleaned the toilets, went grocery shopping and did a workout on the treadmill. It didn’t feel very vacation-y.

Today I did the dishes, vacuumed the condo, and did a few other chores. This also did not feel very vacation-y. Finally, the evening arrived and with it, quiet time on the computer, where I could relax and read all about the horrible things happening everywhere.

It was then that the fire alarm in the building went off. I didn’t have to read about horrible things at all, I was now living it.

The condo has two alarms inside–one in each bedroom. This means when I am at the computer, one of the alarms is about a meter from my head.

They are very loud.

We silenced both with the “please don’t permanently damage my hearing” buttons and headed out. The hallways alarms are, if anything, even louder. One is right outside our suite door. Jeff went to investigate the source of the alarm, which is not something I would personally do myself, but different strokes and all that. I went outside to gather (while physically distancing, of course) with my neighbors while the firefighters investigated.

The alarms continued to screech, as they do.

The first of three trucks to arrive. The others did not put their lights on, alas.

Jeff ascertained that the alarm was pulled by a suite on the second floor, way down the other end of the building, safely past the fire doors. It looks like what happened was:

  • someone attempted to cook something on the stove
  • this attempt was unsuccessful, resulting in things getting burnt
  • the odor of this cooking cock-up was sufficient to get into the hallway
  • someone panicked (?) over the smell of smoke and pulled the alarm

After about 20 minutes or so, they took one of those industrial fans in, apparently to blow the offending smoke out of the suite and into the night. One of the firefighters advised us to maintain distance as we filed back in. Everyone pretty much ignored this. Pandemic fatigue. Which will probably extend the pandemic.

Speaking of night, at least it was clear and mild out. This would have been worse–and more ironic–in the rain.

Anyway, that wraps up the second day of my vacation. I have a short list for Day 3:

  • No chores
  • Nore fires or false alarms
  • Brownies

Photo of the Night, December 1, 2018 with bonus fire truck

Not something you want to see outside your condo.

It was Saturday night and I was getting ready for bed at the fashionably late hour of 12:45 a.m. when the fire alarm went off in my building.

The condo has two alarms, one in each bedroom, and if you think of a 747 on takeoff as producing a sound level of 10, these alarms produce a sound level of 10 million. The only way you would not hear them is if you were deaf and even then you’d probably still feel the sound waves blasting against your body. I put on my shoes, jacket and cap, grabbed my phone and headed out into the chilly 3ºC weather to gather with the neighbors I never see.

I noticed what looked like smoke coming from the back of the building, so walked around the side and discovered it was just a steam plume from the hospital. A few minutes later the first fire truck arrived and the firefighters gathered at the panel in the lobby that was flashing angrily. About ten minutes after that the panel was silenced and we were waved to head back in. I overheard some speculation that “dust” or something may have set off the alarm, which I kind of hope is not what happened, because dust is not exactly a rare thing. But it was confirmed that the alarm was not deliberately set off, as they didn’t have to reset it. With nothing on fire, I was safely tucked into bed shortly after 1 a.m. I was a bit concerned the alarm might go off again (because, you know…dust), but fortunately it didn’t.

Today I am happy there was no fire and my ear drums are not burst. Seriously, that alarm is loud enough to break bone.

Deadpool, false alarms and free movies

I saw Deadpool last night. I knew just enough about the character and movie to properly calibrate my expectations (vulgar, gory over-the-top violence, irreverent) and was pleased to find the movie was, in its own vulgar, gory and irreverent way, quite charming and at times pretty funny. Ryan Reynolds obviously has affection for the character/material and had a great time making the film–and it shows. As a bonus, you get to see him nude. As a special bonus, you even get to see his naughty bits. As penance for this, you see them after he has been transformed into a hideously ugly mutant.

About a quarter of the way through the movie a pair of small white lights began flashing, one on either side of the movie screen. It seemed like an alarm of some kind. Presumably they don’t have real alarms (the kind that pierce ear drums) to prevent that whole “yelling fire’ in a theater effect. I ignored it for a bit and then Nic finally said we should check it out so we went to the lobby and immediately got word that it was a fire alarm, but a false one. We returned to our seats and the lights kept flashing, which was more annoying now that we knew there was no inferno imminent.

A few minutes later a pair of employees came in and one gamely tried talking over the movie’s audio (Deadpool is not a film that employs subtlety in its audio–or any other part) and we got the gist: an apology for the alarm and an offer for a full refund or free pass.

After they left the film suddenly froze. It’s a digital projector so I’m wondering if the hard drive crashed. Would we get to see the world’s largest BSOD? No, it turned out they were setting the movie back to just before the disruption. I actually caught a piece of dialogue I had missed the first time.

When the movie ended we filed past someone who did indeed give us a pair of free passes (good until December 31, 2017, so good for the release of Episode VIII). We’ll likely use them for Zootopia, one of those anthropomorphic Disney moves that looks way better in the previews than it has any right to.

Overall, the disruption was relatively minor, didn’t detract from the experience (Deadpool is pretty much the perfect movie to experience a false fire alarm in) and we got a free movie out of it. I rate the evening 6 out of 7 Ryan Reynold’s fourth wall-breaking comments.