random spam

I’m not always polite and mild (or witty)

When you get a spam message on an iPhone, you can report is as junk and have it block the sender and delete the message. If you also have a Mac, it will not mirror this, so you will still see the message there, until you delete it.

This morning, I was reminded that I broke one of my rules yesterday morning when I replied to a scammer. I haven’t done this in years. I don’t enjoy “the game” and appreciate having a single button I can tap to make them go away (it would be better if these messages never got through at all, of course). But yesterday morning I was apparently a bit cranky from being up extra early due to Mouse Incident™ and I did reply, before blocking. Behold my early morning sass:

Today, I asked my AI pal ChatGPT to come up with some sassy replies written in the style of Shakespeare that I could use instead. They’re actually not that bad!

Oh, treacherous fiend, whose wicked scheme is laid,
In the realm of cyberspace, a villainous charade,
Thy words, like honeyed poison, doth beguile,
Yet beneath thy deceit, a serpent's guile.

And:

Thy message o'er Apple's channel of delight,
Doth seek to rob me blind, in broad daylight,
A plea for gold, a promise to repay,
Yet, in truth, thou art but a wolf at bay.

But I will probably just Delete and Report Junk like I normally do.

Postapalooza?

In order to meet the minimum of one-post-per-day (on a monthly basis) I need to write twelve more posts after this one by the end of tomorrow.

It’s not inconceivable I could do this.

Could I do it without spamming a lot of one-liner nonsense? Quite possibly.

Could I do it without posting any cat images? Probably.

Could I do it with a dozen sober, substantive messages? Let’s not get crazy here.

Let me start by singing the praises of spring, which truly arrived today with sunny skies and unseasonably warm temperatures. I almost expected delightful cartoon birds to alight on my shoulders while fluffy cartoon bunnies hopped around my feet. I mean while outside. It would be kind of weird if that happened at my cubicle and if I’m going to have weird things happen I’ll take winning the Lotto 6/49 jackpot over the appearance of cartoon animals at my work desk.

Speaking of the 6/49, I actually matched four out of six numbers last week. That sounds impressive until you realize it’s only 66%, which in school is a mediocre grade. I won $43.70. I have not, as a result, taken early retirement.

On that still-not-rich note, here’s to 12 more posts in the next 25.5 hours. That’s less than one post every two hours. Easy peasy.

September spam

This is the 32nd post I’ve made in September, with at least one post written every day. I openly admit some days inspiration has not only been lacking, it has built a colony ship and headed off to the outer reaches of the universe without so much as a “Good luck, sucker!”

One of the difficulties in posting every day has to do with my work/home routine. I usually don’t post until after I’ve finished work, come home, had dinner, relaxed a bit by doing a little web surfing, reacquainting myself with how awful the world can be through the web surfing and then being too mentally tired and/or defeated to write much of anything that wouldn’t be a litany of complaints or rants. I’m trying to avoid complaint posts because as I’ve mentioned before, they are mostly uninteresting, even to the person doing the complaining (it’s more therapy than anything).

I’m going to write a few more spammy posts, though, because I want to set a personal record for the blog. It will be especially ironic that the month with the most posts (in ten years of writing on this blog) will also be the month I had a day with zero hits.