In my case, it greatly improves my appearance. I submit the evidence below.
NOTE: Images may frighten young children. People with heart conditions should use caution.
Exhibit A
Student Identification card, 1980
Age of subject: 16
There are many things wrong with this picture. First, I want to clarify that the off-center right-side is not an artifact of the scanning. The card was printed that way because technology in 1980 still lacked the ability to make straight lines.
Now, as for me, there’s the acne. Unfortunate, but a common part of being a teen for many. My grad photos have the acne airbrushed out, but it wasn’t an option for a mere student ID card.
The weird tilt of the glasses suggest my head is as horribly misaligned as the graphics on the card. This is not true. At the same time I have no good explanation for why the glasses are not sitting straight. The tinted lenses were annoying and I ditched them shortly after this photo was taken. Possibly after seeing this photo, when I finally stopped crying.
The slightly-parted lips show my teeth at their worst, making them look uneven and British. Which they were. I apologize to the British with nice teeth.
The hair. It looks like it is slowly making its way around to devour my face. I compensated for its thinness by growing a lot of it instead. It was a pain to groom so I mostly gave up, as you can see. I graduated high school with enough sense to have somewhat shorter hair than pictured here.
In summation: yech.
Exhibit B
Self-portrait without flash, 2010
Age of subject: 46
As the caption notes, this picture was taken without a flash on a digital camera, so there’s a bit of noise as a result of my tampering with the brightness and contrast.
Let’s compare and contrast with the student ID photo.
The acne is gone. In exchange I am a 46 year old adult instead of a 16 year old goofball.
No tilt to the glasses because I opted not to wear them for the shot. But they wouldn’t have tilted anyway because by 2010 the Earth’s axis had been corrected or something.
Mouth closed so teeth are a delightful mystery, as intended.
The volume of hair has been reduced by 400%. Some hair has slipped to the chin and upper lip. Ears are proven to exist. The overall effect is pleasing, though the onset of male pattern baldness is plainly visible. To my credit I’m not especially trying to hide it, either.
The bright yellow shirt pops out at you. It’s friendly and inviting. It got me a date.
Overall, then, I went from an ugly duckling at 16 to a full-grown duck starting to lose its feathers, but knowing how to highlight its remaining plumage in a pleasing way. That analogy may suck, but all analogies do.
I generally don’t take good photos but nearly all of my school photos post-puberty are hideous. And that is why I share them, to teach the young kids of today to not be hideous. Wear your glasses straight. Wash with soap. Use a comb.
