Last week I neglected to bring a lunch to work so I headed to a nearby food court and chose to consume some of the edible products offered at McDonald’s. Specifically I had a McChicken Meal, which consisted of:
- McChicken sandwich. A couple of limp white bread buns filled with shredded lettuce, something like mayo in copious quantities and a deep-fried patty that was allegedly scraped together from some parts of a chicken. The most remarkable characteristic was the blandness of it all, like flavor was specifically worked out of it as an unnecessary part of the burger.
- French fries. McDonald’s fries are often thought of favorably and I’m not sure why. Even if you move past the nerd debate over beef tallow/vegetable oil for the frying, the best thing I can offer is the fries are hot and crisp. They have the skins removed, so there’s no particular flavor (see a trend?) and enough salt to make a family of deer happy. I was going to use some ketchup on them but adding to the briny taters seemed like sprinkling gunpowder on your sticks of dynamite. Is it really necessary?
- Coca Cola Zero. I tried to order water (even in a kill-the-earth plastic bottle) but they had none. I was given a cup to fill from the soda fountain. I figured they’d have soda water there but apparently not, so I chose the sugar-free option of CCZ. It has been several years since I’ve had a carbonated beverage so my sinus cavities were a bit frightened by the bubbles but it did indeed taste like the Coke I remember from days of yore. I can’t imagine how people drink this stuff regularly. I managed to finish the half-cup I filled and only as an attempt to wash away the salt coating my tongue, throat and everything else inside my body.
On a scale of 1 to 5 Twinkies, I rate the McChicken Meal 4.5 Twinkies. The Twinkie scale works in reverse, so more Twinkies is worse.
I’m packing my lunch every day now.
