McBleah

Long lines and the price of McFreedom

The other morning I was in the food court near where I work and, as is usually the case at this time of day, there weren’t many people milling about. Then I espied a line-up that was not merely long, but downright lengthy in extreme.

It turned out it was for McDonald’s, as they had just introduced new buttermilk biscuits as part of their breakfast menu and for two days they were offering them for free.

Free, as it turns out, is a popular price.

Here’s some of what these people got for free by opting for the Sausage ‘n Egg Biscuit Sandwich:

48% of your daily sodium (1140 mg)
57% of your daily fat (37 g)
590 calories
240 mg cholesterol
19 grams protein
30% of your daily iron

So you’ll simultaneously get fat, clog your arteries, increase your blood pressure but also gain a tiny bit of muscle (under the fat). Seems like a good deal. It’s hard to figure out why so many people are obese. Really!

(Disclaimer: Occasional fast food is a welcome indulgence for those who like it. I am eating whole grain tortilla chips and fresh salsa as I type this.)

Coca Cola Less Than Zero

Last week I neglected to bring a lunch to work so I headed to a nearby food court and chose to consume some of the edible products offered at McDonald’s. Specifically I had a McChicken Meal, which consisted of:

  • McChicken sandwich. A couple of limp white bread buns filled with shredded lettuce, something like mayo in copious quantities and a deep-fried patty that was allegedly scraped together from some parts of a chicken. The most remarkable characteristic was the blandness of it all, like flavor was specifically worked out of it as an unnecessary part of the burger.
  • French fries. McDonald’s fries are often thought of favorably and I’m not sure why. Even if you move past the nerd debate over beef tallow/vegetable oil for the frying, the best thing I can offer is the fries are hot and crisp. They have the skins removed, so there’s no particular flavor (see a trend?) and enough salt to make a family of deer happy. I was going to use some ketchup on them but adding to the briny taters seemed like sprinkling gunpowder on your sticks of dynamite. Is it really necessary?
  • Coca Cola Zero. I tried to order water (even in a kill-the-earth plastic bottle) but they had none. I was given a cup to fill from the soda fountain. I figured they’d have soda water there but apparently not, so I chose the sugar-free option of CCZ. It has been several years since I’ve had a carbonated beverage so my sinus cavities were a bit frightened by the bubbles but it did indeed taste like the Coke I remember from days of yore. I can’t imagine how people drink this stuff regularly. I managed to finish the half-cup I filled and only as an attempt to wash away the salt coating my tongue, throat and everything else inside my body.

On a scale of 1 to 5 Twinkies, I rate the McChicken Meal 4.5 Twinkies. The Twinkie scale works in reverse, so more Twinkies is worse.

I’m packing my lunch every day now.