The Famous Polka

The Famous Polka is an unfinished play I wrote back in 1996 and takes its title from the They Might Be Giants’ song of the same name. While I like the characters and the breezy dialogue, there’s a slim chance I’ll ever finish the play so I figured I may as well put it on the site for perusal. I’ll be adding more unfinished (and finished) works soon. You can find The Famous Polka in the 1990s fiction section.

Here’s a sample from the play:

CHRISTINE: So who do you think in the theater department would be a good match for Eric?

KEVIN: There’s Mark.

CHRISTINE: Mark? Hmm…

ERIC: Is he the one with the blond hair, the bowl cut?

CHRISTINE: Yes.

ERIC: Fag!

CHRISTINE: You’re a fag.

ERIC: No, forget it. He’s too gay.

CHRISTINE: Too gay?

KEVIN: The gradations are fascinating.

Electronic Arts: Cutting costs, increasing bafflegab

Today EA revealed that its previously-announced job reductions are cutting deeper than originally forecast, from about 6% of their workforce to 10%. The local Vancouver studio Black Box is being absorbed into the larger Burnaby facility (which had its expansion canceled). But the best part is this statement as seen on Blue’s News:

EA is implementing a plan to narrow its product portfolio to focus on hit games with higher margin opportunities. The company remains committed to taking creative risks, investing in new games, leading the industry in the growing mobile and online businesses, and delivering high-quality games to consumers.

On the one hand they are going to “narrow its product portfolio to focus on hit games” (ie wall-to-wall Madden and Sims) and yet they remain commited to taking “creative risks”. What does that mean? Turning Madden into an MMO? Putting The Sims onto calculators?

Of Lovecraft, graffiti and churches in the fog

I’ve added a trio of short stories that were written as exercises for WRITE! And yes, it is correct to shout the title of the site, preferably around others to see if it inspires and/or frightens them.

The stories can be found on the new 2000s fiction page. They are:

I’ve also re-organized the way stories are grouped, removing the individual pages and instead dividing them up by decades, resulting in less bloat but the same delicious and nutritious content. Enjoy!

Goodbye docs, hello cow

I’ve done a wee bit of tidying up by removing all of the .doc versions of my short stories. I figure for a .pdf is good enough for reading and I’m the boss here, so that’s that! I recommend Foxit for viewing .pdf files.

I’ve finally added Stop That Cow!, a story I originally wrote in five installments on the Martian Cartel forum. I’ve converted the text file to something a little more readable for a .pdf but have otherwise not changed it. It could probably do with another pass but it’s not exactly heavy reading. Enjoy!

Three new (old) stories and a new year, too

Between the last entry in October and this one written in March 2007 some 29,000 trees in Vancouver have been knocked down by storms carrying typhoon-strength winds. Once again, Green Revolution appears meek and conservative next to reality.

But enough of reality, I finally have three more stories ready. Learning to Die, Noises and The Big Green Monster That Sat on Cleveland are all self-explanatory titles. There’s no attempt to be ironic, edgy or hip, each story is really about what the title says.

I’ll be back to post again in six months!

Sammy Takes a Dive

I’ve added Sammy Takes a Dive to the Short Fiction page. This is another comic story but it’s a bit darker than Sing, Toaster, Sing. If I remember correctly, I wrote it in one sitting and when I read it a few days ago, the ending struck me as so disturbing and out of place that I changed it before putting it onto the site (the story was written back in 1992). I may include the original ending as part of the story’s commentary at some point.

I’ll probably have a story with a wee bit more substance up in the next week or so, including one about Mother Nature’s wrath that looks quaint in comparison to the actual hurricane-earthquake-tsunami-palooza we’ve been experiencing over the last year.