Earlier today I added the Creative category to the blog. With one post it already equaled one-third of the total posts found under the Programming category. As such I have chucked the Programming category into the vast sea of tags I have on the site (390 and counting!)
This concludes both the Programming category and my attempts at programming. I know when to move on, even if it’s 20 years late.
I’m just glad I was able to solve the Rubik’s Cube when I was a kid. I don’t think I could have taken the lack of closure on that.
Occasionally I get the urge to indulge the drawing ‘n painting artistic side of me and the results are usually halting, uninspired and incomplete. And here’s one of them!
The Unfinished Tree (rejected U2 album, 1987)
This is based on a photograph I found by cleverly doing an image search on the phrase ‘spooky tree’ in Google. The original:
As you can see my early rendering has captured none of the original spookiness and the tree exists in an existential white void, without bound, without limit, without me being arsed to finish the dang thing. Mostly it was an excuse to break out my digital tools and see how I fared with them. I used the Bamboo Fun tablet and Corel’s Painter Essentials 4, a cut-down version of their pricey Painter program. I could see myself getting some traction with this combo if I devoted enough time to it but the chances of me carving out that sort of time is pretty small these days.
Still, I was at least inspired to create a new category of post for this (Creative) so that’s something. I promise to maybe finish you someday, would-be spooky tree.
All I can say is I’m glad this is not how driving works in real life, as nearly every trip I take in a car in GTA3 ends this way.
I never finished the game when I originally played back in 2002 (dig those awesome textures) so I’m going in this time with a specific goal: to collect all 100 packages hidden throughout Liberty City. I’ll also be doing any other bonus activity as I see fit (taxi, ambulance and fire missions, other optional missions, stunt jumps and so on). My goal is pretty much to just do the things I find entertaining and skip as many of the ‘real’ missions as possible. I dimly recall a number of them being quite annoying so I’m happy to avoid them if possible.
My original plan was to play the game as a ‘good’ bad guy but I don’t think you can open up the rest of the city without shanking at least a couple of (no doubt deserving) people so I abandoned that fairly quickly. If all goes well (or especially if it doesn’t) I’l be recording my efforts for posterity on Broken Forum, which has a huge and frightening sub-forum devoted to the Let’s Play format.
I recently finished reading John Dies at the End by David Wong, editor of cracked.com*. This is not a long book but it took nigh-forever to finish reading because every reading session was started just late enough that I’d nod off within 30 minutes. This is not a knock against the book, it would have happened no matter what I was reading at the time.
This is a silly and plot-light tale that began as an Internet thing™ and eventually evolved into an actual book (which I bought via the Internet, thus completing the circle). It follows a pair of dopey guys in their mid-20s as they fight weird-ass (and I use the term literally) demons and other things that threaten to destroy the world as we know it. Apart from an ending that feels a bit like “Uh, how do I wrap this all up?” the journey is fast-paced, absurd and often very funny. The sub-genre of funny horror is ill-served so this is a welcome addition to it.
If you are a humorless monster (and I use the term literally) you may not find this to be a literary masterpiece but that’s okay. There’s already a sequel out for you to froth over. I’m not picking it up yet because it’s still out of my price range but I will eventually. Sorry, Mr. Wong–if that’s your real name (spoiler: it’s not).
* I still can’t decide if Cracked was an excellent alternative to Mad magazine or a shameless ripoff. Probably a little of both. The website is nothing like the magazine of yore, which is not a bad thing. It’s just a web thing.
There’s nothing quite like the sensation of laying down to sleep and finding yourself unable to breathe. This happened a few nights ago when my über-cold left my nose completely stuffed up. I had to breathe through my mouth, which made me dizzy. I eventually fell asleep probably due to exhaustion. When I awoke in the middle of the night one of my nostrils had kindly opened up enough to permit semi-normal breathing.
Worst cold ever.
Also the last post I’m making about it. Colds are pretty boring to read about and if I could capture the misery of the past week in a way that was truly entertaining, I’d be rich. Hmm. I may have to think about this.
Onward to the rest of what should hopefully be a healthy remainder of 2013:
Valentine’s Day is coming up. My favorite manufactured holiday when I was a kid because of the candy. I was especially fond of chocolate-covered marshmallow hearts. Mmm. Now I prefer the day after when all the candy gets marked down 50%. I usually treat myself to something small that I can work off without too much guilt/effort.
Running: This is probably still about three weeks off. I’m going to start stretching exercises to make sure my tendon is ready. The first run will be a short test that will also serve to calibrate my new iPod nano. The best thing about it, apart from the electric green case…
…is that it incorporates the Nike+ sensor/receiver so I don’t need to attach any extra hardware to my shoe (or the iPod). An added bonus is no more infernal clickwheel to deal with, especially one that refuses to function in the slightest bit of rain, making the end of a jog unusually difficult to, well, end. The test run will be done at a track to ensure maximum accuracy for the calibration. In the meantime I’ll try to return to the pool/gym at least a few times each week until the runs resume. Excelsior!
Diet: My weight has steadied out around 156-157 but should start going back down soon as I start packing a modest lunch to work and resist the siren song of the donut. My goal is to be back to my usual weight by my next physical, probably a few months from now.
This site: I have found a few themes I may be able to hammer into something serviceable for my needs. This is a long term project so I’ll probably work away at it a little at a time. I am planning on having a revamped site up before the end of the year.
As I enter my third day of being truly and awfully sick it came to mind that I wasn’t sure if this was just a bad cold or the flu, so I did what any like-minded person would do: I searched the web.
Antiviral drugs (Tamiflu or
or Relenza) within 24-48 hours
of onset
I haven’t had a fever, though I have had periods of feeling too warm/too cold. I have had an on/off headache (a bit of one right now, in fact) and weakness…well, let’s say the idea of replicating Saturday’s 20 km walk is not exactly a tantalizing prospect at the moment. The only things I have to treat the symptoms right now are Nyquil and sodium-encrusted noodle soup. I’ll take what I can get.
The problem with doing the thing I most want to — lay down and doze — is that my sinuses are so clogged up that reclining makes it nearly impossible to breathe. Perhaps a nice warm bath would help. Or some miracle pill invented by science.
Get to work, scientists! And deliver direct to door, please.
At the end of each semester at the college I work at there is a break of 10 days or so where the college is pretty much shut down. The winter one began a few days before Christmas and I was looking forward to some quality loafing off time. A few days in I developed what turned out to be an awful head cold that lingered on until just before the break ended, meaning I was sick for nearly the entire time. My loafing turned out to be enforced rather than voluntary. I did not like this.
I blamed the germ carriers on mass transit, as I always do.
This past Friday, within a few hours of getting home for the weekend, I developed a clone of the same head cold. As I write this I am experiencing its unpleasant effects in all their glory. I do not like this.
I again blame the germ carriers on mass transit.
In each case it’s as if the head cold was lying in wait until I had some quality free time, then struck as if to say, “Nuh uh! Your free time shall be filled with misery and runny noses!” And lo, it was.
I am also reminded that when I was running regularly I seemed to get sick a lot less often. I hope to resume this month to put that theory to the test. In the meantime, I shake my fist at you, head cold. I shake it weakly and while stifling a cough, but I shake it all the same.
While I am still not quite ready to return to running I decided to take advantage of the mild ‘n dry weather and do a simulated run around Burnaby Lake by walking the route. I estimated it would take around 3 hours and the pedometer on the iPod said it took 3:04 hours, so I trucked along much as I had anticipated. I even stretched the walk out a bit by taking the freeway trail (which I used for three weeks last summer when one of the boardwalks on the lake was being replaced). By the time I was heading back alongside the Brunette River I was getting tired and a little cranky.
The rounds on the elliptical are helping but I’m clearly not in prime condition. Also I didn’t wear my spiffy new running shoes and instead wore my cheap-o ones that are designed for maximum discomfort. In all, not my best-planned effort but it’s always nice to eat ice cream guilt-free.
I managed to start the sequel to the head cold I had over Christmas last night and like many sequels, it sucks. It didn’t affect my walk but here in the evening I’m feeling tuckered and my throat is irritating me, even more than when I try to sing. I’ll probably head off to bed early and dream of the wonderfully creative things I may have done if I didn’t feel like poop.
In the meantime, here is a stock image of my new running shoes, the Minimus 1010s. They are much like my previous pair but are blue instead of glow-in-the-dark orange. I kind of miss the orange, actually. Reading reviews on the New Balance site, it sounds like I may be looking for another pair shortly after I resume my runs. That would be rather disappointing, as my last two pairs of New Balance shoes have been very durable.
I took advantage of the $15 upgrade offer to get Windows 8 shortly after it launched in October 2012 because I am a sucker for new tech/nerd stuff. It has its good points and its not-so-good points. I’ll have something more substantial to say in a later post but for now here is a summary in haiku:
I got Windows 8
It’s mostly Windows 7
With secret clicking
I am posting this from an iPad. Why? Because iCan (lol).
Seriously, though, think of a new naming scheme, Apple. You made more money than Canada did last year, you can come up with something better than a variation of McDonald’s McEverything.
In other news, because February is the shortest month of the year and I can now post from the comfort of bed, I am once again going to try posting at least once per day. This will undoubtedly end in tears. Or apathy.
Don’t worry, I still have my calves. They’re right where they should be–above my ankles and below my knees. I am remembering them in particular due to my first trip to the gym last Wednesday. My partner and I headed over to the Canada Games Pool here in New Westminster to do a basic cardio workout that would not stress my Achilles tendon but would help get my flabby self back in shape before I resume my runs.
The pool has a full-featured gym so I paid $48 for a 10-pack of visits and in return got a shiny ID card with requisite horrible photo that could be scanned upon entry. I did my first scan and was set.
The gym area was surprisingly busy but we managed to find a pair of free ellipticals next to each other. Jeff also found a nice young instructor named Ryan who went over the basics of using the machine, as I had never been on one before. It seemed pretty straightforward. I got on, started the timer and began a 25 minute workout. I raised the tension up a bit to 3 (from 1) and reduced the incline down to 3 (from some value I can’t recall). This was done to better simulate a cross-country run instead of a jog up the side of a cliff. Within five minutes my calves were aflame. This is why you exercise regularly, to avoid your muscles crying out in horror at what you are doing to them. Fortunately they warmed up quickly and were fine the next day. I experienced a bit of minor soreness in my upper leg muscles but that was all. Given that my last run was in mid-November I consider this a rousing success.
I opted for only 20 minutes of workout instead of the full 25, not wanting to max it out the first night. I burned 173 calories–enough to take care of the ice cream I’d had for dessert earlier. I burned a few more when Jeff and I played a few rounds of ping pong, shot some hoops and then sweated in the whirlpool. In all it was actually kind of fun and I’m looking forward to our next trip. I may bring my iPod along for the elliptical part, though. It will distract me from constantly looking at the timer counting down, the analogy for which is indeed a watched pot that never boils.
It’s been just over a month since I completed my project for National Novel Writing Month 2012 and I’ve had enough time to assess what worked and what didn’t and put together some thoughts on the contest itself.
First, let’s look at my overall performance in the four NaNoWriMo’s I’ve participated in. I have a 50% success rate:
2009: Finished novel The Ferry in 21 days.
2010: Stalled at 17,210 words on expansion of short story Low Desert.
2011: Stalled at 5,073 words on expansion of short story The Dream of the Buckford Church.
2012: Finished novel The Mean Mind one day early.
The Ferry started life as a short story that started growing into something that might have become a novel had I not abandoned it in 1993. Which I did. When I picked it up in 2009, I dusted off the unfinished beginning, fixed it up a bit and continued from where I’d left off, following a rough plot outline I had written down in my head. The headstart allowed me to finish early but I’d have finished early regardless, as I wrote the thing in a blur. Something else that contributed to an early and easy finish that’s important (as I’ll explain in a bit in reference to 2012’s entry) is this: The Ferry is a straightforward story. It takes place almost entirely in one location with a small group of people and is spread over a mere 24 hour period (less, actually). The entire narrative is as direct as it could be. Things happen as they happen. There are no flashbacks, no subplots, no back story. It’s a monster movie waiting to be filmed (please write or call if you are interested in purchasing the rights. Unless you are Uwe Boll. No, even if you’re Uwe Boll. Maybe especially if you’re Uwe Boll).
2010 was a noble attempt and the short story (originally titled “Hello?”) lent itself to expansion to novel-length. The problem there is I had no real plan on where to take the story beyond its short story roots. I tried writing it with the same kind of narrative directness as The Ferry but ran out of steam quickly.
2011 was a repeat with a different story but with the additional complication of the story being complicated. The short story hints at complexities existing between the waking and dream worlds and I intended to flesh this out but eventually it felt like trying to untangle the cord of your earbuds before getting on the bus. You can either untangle the cord and miss the bus or get on the bus and try untangling the cord as you slosh around against all the other passengers standing around you. Neither option is optimal, so the real solution is to untangle the damn cord before leaving home. Or in terms of NaNoWriMo, spend some time before November plotting out the story, even if you end up deviating from what you’ve planned because going into NaNoWriMo with a complex story and little to no outline to guide you is like going into a dark cellar without a lantern. You will be eaten by a grue.
Which brings me to 2012’s effort. Did I complete the objective? Yes, I wrote 50,000 words. Did I finish the story? No, it did not reach an actual conclusion, unless you consider the last scene a particularly obscure ‘What if?’ scenario where it is left to the reader to imagine the rest of what happened. Unlike 2009 I am not happy with the effort this time. There are parts of The Mean Mind that work very well. The opening third of the book flows well and I was fully engaged with the story in the first few weeks of November. But while I actually had a plot outline this time (having learned from 2010 and 2011) it became clear that this was not going to be a slim 175-page novel. Sure, it also wasn’t going to be a Steven Erickson-alike that would bend the shelf it was placed upon but I soon realized there was no way I would complete NaNoWriMo unless I did some serious compression with the story. Long scenes were reduced to lines, characters were brought in quickly and sketched minimally, ciphers to be detailed later. The plot jumped with a kinetic energy that was not invigorating but maddening–like reading one of those Reader’s Digest condensed novels (what an awful idea those were) that had been further chopped in half again. You know how a lot of people complain that some of Stephen King’s books are too long? Imagine IT or The Stand being 200 pages in length. They just wouldn’t work.
That’s how The Mean Mind felt. By the time I passed 50,000 words I was relieved to be able to stop writing and put it aside. I haven’t looked at it since. I will, eventually, and if I like enough of the skeleton I may try adding flesh to its bones.
But going forward I will make sure that my next NaNoWriMo effort (and I will do it again, unless I’m hot and heavy in the middle of something else) a trifle, something suitably shallow or pulpy, where the pace is brisk, the characters broad and the action worthy of Michael Bay. Or maybe even Uwe Boll.
No, not even Uwe Boll.
Or to put it more simply: I’ll keep it simple. And the story will be better for it.
