The could-have-been-worse run

Distance: 11.41 km
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 19ºC
Wind: none
Calories burned: 798
Average pace: 5:14/km
Total distance to date: 977 km

With my shins feeling a bit tender after the last run I planned on a deliberately slower pace tonight. What I didn’t plan was a pulled tendon partway through that guaranteed a slower run and almost an early finish. I finished with an average of 5:14/km, which is perfectly acceptable given the conditions and as a bonus I did my longest run ever by taking on all three extra loops along the north side of the lake, coming in at 11.41 km. Joan even correctly congratulated me! The shins and in particular the right one, did start to hurt a bit partway through and you can see how my pace slowed down a notch or two when this happened but I persisted and as my legs armed up the soreness diminished. Stamina was never an issue. Somewhere between the 6K and 10K mark a tendon in the back of my left knee got pulled. There were a few times where it hurt noticeably as it stretched out again and I seriously considered stopping the run at the 10K point or even sooner. I risked giving it a bit to sort itself out, reckoning that it wasn’t a serious pull and happily it settled down and I finished without a precipitous drop in my pace. I’m going to focus less on speed and more on distance over the next few runs. Since I’m only 23 km from reaching 1,000 km (blue on the Nike+ site) I’ll need to cover at least 12K to do it in the next two — a reasonable goal, I think. It may also be time to start working on some leg exercises to give my calves extra strength.

Chart (blue indicates the run was done clockwise; purple= Burnaby Lake):

km Aug 15 Aug 11 Aug 8 Aug 4 Aug 1 Jul 27 Jul 20 Jul 17 Jul 14
1 km 4:55 4:54 5:04 4:51 4:51 4:56 4:53 4:56 4:45
2 km 4:57 4:55 5:05 4:54 4:52 4:54 4:56 4:54 4:47
3 km 4:58 4:58 5:07 4:59 4:56 4:55 4:55 4:58 4:56
4 km 5:02 5:00 5:09 5:04 4:58 4:56 5:00 4:58 4:54
5 km 5:05 5:02 5:11 5:07 5:00 5:00 5:01 5:00 4:54
6 km 5:06 5:03 5:12 5:09 5:01 5:02 5:02 5:02 4:59
7 km 5:08 5:04 5:14 5:11 5:04 5:04 5:03 5:04 5:00
8 km 5:09 5:06 5:16 5:13 5:06 5:06 5:05 5:06 5:02
9 km 5:11 5:08 5:16 5:14 5:07 5:07 5:06 5:08 5:04
10 km 5:13 5:08 5:17 5:15 5:09 5:09 5:06 5:09 5:06
11 km 5:14 — 5:17 5:16 5:10 5:10 — 5:10 5:01

Breakfast from Hell?

Over on East Columbia Street in New Westminster, the Sapperton Place Cafe offers a menu where ‘All Prices included HST’ (perhaps anticipating the tax’s possible defeat in the recent referendum) that includes a morning snack for a mere $2.50. For that low price you get coffee and your choice of muffin or ‘cheese scorn’, a roll that I suspect is either forged in the fires of Hell, merely disdainful of the cheese it features or perhaps is just generally designed to offer early morning contempt to the world in its own small way. Whichever it is, yum to the delicious cheese scorn!

Book review: Dark Delicacies III: Haunted

Despite the subtitle, Dark Delicacies III: Haunted is not really a collection of ghost stories, though many play on the theme of ghosts or some kind of haunting.

Perhaps its most bizarre inclusion is a foreward by Steven Weber. Yes, the guy from Wings.

As is often the case with collections there are a few standouts, some clunkers and a lot of perfectly serviceable reads to be found. Most of the stories are quite short at ten pages or thereabouts so even the bad ones won’t linger. As befits a horror collection a few stories are built on gross-outs and some fairly graphic sex. Be warned, ye of delicate sensibilities!

My favorites include Richard Matheson’s cheeky “How to Edit”, which has a kind of companion piece in the ultimately nonsensical “Tyler’s Third Act”, both stories dealing with self-mutilation. The latter falls apart at the end (no pun intended), while Matheson’s wraps up appropriately. David Morrell’s “The Architecture of Snow” rounds out the book (save for a very brief poem by Clive Barker) and is a wonderfully meditative piece. “Man with the Canvas Bag” by Gary Braunbeck is weirdly wonderful while Chuck Palahinuk’s “Fetch” is just plain weird, kind of what you would expect if Jack Handey wrote a horror story. Funny, though.

“Food of the Gods” left me cold and not just because it’s one of several stories in the collection to use the ‘haha, even though the story is written in first person the narrator is DEAD, fooled you!” shtick. “The Slow Haunting”, though well-written, is flattened by a twist ending that isn’t earned.

Overall, though, any fan of horror should find enough here to warrant a look. I give Dark Delicacies III: Haunted 3.5 out of 5 severed heads.

The redemption run

Distance: 10.07 km
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 17-20ºC
Wind: light
Calories burned: 704
Average pace: 5:08/km
Total distance to date: 965 km

My goal tonight was simple: run without cramping and beat the (now) pathetic time of my previous run, which averaged 5:17/km.

First, I broke my vow of not drinking Coke Zero before the run. I imbibed a glass but finished it a full five hours beforehand. If that was going to affect me, I’d need to have a serious talking to my digestive system.

Because Jeff was off to North Van for a bike ride I opted to return to China Creek and its dusty trail. I am happy to report no dog incidents, though there were dogs (and joggers and soccer players and plenty of other people) about. The soccer players presented the closest to a hazard, as several balls got punted onto the path ahead of me, none underfoot, fortunately.

One soccer guy who was mixing in some sprints came up and passed me on one lap. Shortly after passing he came to a stop in the middle of the path and began pinwheeling his arms horizontally because, you know, I totally wasn’t right behind him, even though he had just passed me. He didn’t seem to have much energy so the arms came down before one could bap me in the head.

The good news is I remained cramp-free for the entire run. This one was hard, though. I worked to keep on pace and the air at China Creek is very dry, so my mouth is parched pretty much the whole time. I felt myself flag slightly toward the end and that may have cost me a second or two but I still finished with my second best time overall — 5:08/km. I feel I’m back on track now after the last two crampaloozas.

Chart (blue indicates the run was done clockwise; purple = Burnaby Lake):

km Aug 11 Aug 8 Aug 4 Aug 1 Jul 27 Jul 20 Jul 17 Jul 14 Jul 11 Jul 9
1 km 4:54 5:04 4:51 4:51 4:56 4:53 4:56 4:45 4:54 4:58
2 km 4:55 5:05 4:54 4:52 4:54 4:56 4:54 4:47 4:56 4:58
3 km 4:58 5:07 4:59 4:56 4:55 4:55 4:58 4:56 4:51 4:58
4 km 5:00 5:09 5:04 4:58 4:56 5:00 4:58 4:54 5:01 5:07
5 km 5:02 5:11 5:07 5:00 5:00 5:01 5:00 4:54 5:03 5:10
6 km 5:03 5:12 5:09 5:01 5:02 5:02 5:02 4:59 5:03 5:12
7 km 5:04 5:14 5:11 5:04 5:04 5:03 5:04 5:00 5:04 5:15
8 km 5:06 5:16 5:13 5:06 5:06 5:05 5:06 5:02 5:06 5:17
9 km 5:08 5:16 5:14 5:07 5:07 5:06 5:08 5:04 5:08 5:19
10 km 5:08 5:17 5:15 5:09 5:09 5:06 5:09 5:06 5:10 5:20
11 km — 5:17 5:16 5:10 5:10 — 5:10 5:01 4:59 —

The slow start run

Distance: 11.03 km
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 21ºC
Wind: none
Calories burned: 771
Average pace: 5:17/km
Total distance to date: 955 km

Bleah: The Sequel.

Tonight’s run was pretty much a repeat of the previous, with a few minor variations that ultimately led to a near-identical result.

I got a cramp very near the start of the run and as a result the opening km was a (now) sluggish 5:04/km. To put this in perspective, this is only two seconds off my fastest overall pace. The cramp persisted for more than the first half of the run and returned in slightly milder form for the last 1+ km. I kept pushing steady through the cramping, though, and managed to hold myself to a time of 5:17/km when it could have been much worse.

On the plus side, it wasn’t quite as warm or buggy as the previous run. If I can get a decent start next time and avoid cramping up I should be in good shape. I had some Coke Zero in the afternoon before running but I didn’t think it was close enough to affect me. I’ll be skipping it altogether next run day, so I’ll find out then.

Chart (blue indicates the run was done clockwise; purple = Burnaby Lake):

km Aug 8 Aug 4 Aug 1 Jul 27 Jul 20 Jul 17 Jul 14 Jul 11 Jul 9 Jul 6
1 km 5:04 4:51 4:51 4:56 4:53 4:56 4:45 4:54 4:58 5:08
2 km 5:05 4:54 4:52 4:54 4:56 4:54 4:47 4:56 4:58 5:11
3 km 5:07 4:59 4:56 4:55 4:55 4:58 4:56 4:51 4:58 5:03
4 km 5:09 5:04 4:58 4:56 5:00 4:58 4:54 5:01 5:07 5:17
5 km 5:11 5:07 5:00 5:00 5:01 5:00 4:54 5:03 5:10 5:20
6 km 5:12 5:09 5:01 5:02 5:02 5:02 4:59 5:03 5:12 5:22
7 km 5:14 5:11 5:04 5:04 5:03 5:04 5:00 5:04 5:15 5:25
8 km 5:16 5:13 5:06 5:06 5:05 5:06 5:02 5:06 5:17 5:27
9 km 5:16 5:14 5:07 5:07 5:06 5:08 5:04 5:08 5:19 5:30
10 km 5:17 5:15 5:09 5:09 5:06 5:09 5:06 5:10 5:20 5:31
11 km 5:17 5:16 5:10 5:10 — 5:10 5:01 4:59 — —

The head-down, cramped-up run

Distance: 11.02 km
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 24ºC
Wind: none
Calories burned: 770
Average pace: 5:16/km
Total distance to date: 944 km

Bleah.

It was quite warm tonight and there was no wind at all at Burnaby Lake so the canopied sections of the trail were especially humid. This alone would have likely shaved a few seconds off my pace but what really did me in tonight was a cramp that showed up early and persisted through about 3 km. My start time was fine — 4:51 through the first km, then it dipped by 3, 5 and 5 seconds over the successive km, torpedoing any chance of finishing with a decent time. Once the cramp cleared my pace held up much better and in fact I generally only lost a second per km over the second half, which is pretty good, especially given that the southern part of the trail is more uphill.

Given the pleasant (for walking) weather, there were a few more people out but no incidents to report. The buggy section of the run was indeed super-buggy but keeping my head down managed to spare me ingesting a hundred gnats, though I felt a few plink off my forehead and face as I pushed through the clouds of ’em.

Here’s hoping the next run is a little more in-line with what I expect. Also, note to self: no Coke Zero an hour before a run.

Chart (blue indicates the run was done clockwise; purple = Burnaby Lake):

km Aug 4 Aug 1 Jul 27 Jul 20 Jul 17 Jul 14 Jul 11 Jul 9 Jul 6 Jul 4
1 km 4:51 4:51 4:56 4:53 4:56 4:45 4:54 4:58 5:08 4:58
2 km 4:54 4:52 4:54 4:56 4:54 4:47 4:56 4:58 5:11 5:02
3 km 4:59 4:56 4:55 4:55 4:58 4:56 4:51 4:58 5:03 5:08
4 km 5:04 4:58 4:56 5:00 4:58 4:54 5:01 5:07 5:17 5:12
5 km 5:07 5:00 5:00 5:01 5:00 4:54 5:03 5:10 5:20 5:14
6 km 5:09 5:01 5:02 5:02 5:02 4:59 5:03 5:12 5:22 5:15
7 km 5:11 5:04 5:04 5:03 5:04 5:00 5:04 5:15 5:25 5:17
8 km 5:13 5:06 5:06 5:05 5:06 5:02 5:06 5:17 5:27 5:19
9 km 5:14 5:07 5:07 5:06 5:08 5:04 5:08 5:19 5:30 5:21
10 km 5:15 5:09 5:09 5:06 5:09 5:06 5:10 5:20 5:31 5:21
11 km 5:16 5:10 5:10 — 5:10 5:01 4:59 — — —

The buggy run

Distance: 11.18 km
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 22ºC
Wind: none
Calories burned: 781
Average pace: 5:10/km
Total distance to date: 933 km

Back to Burnaby Lake tonight. With the temperature still 22ºC at 7 p.m. I expected it to be warm and humid and it was. I also expected the bug-filled parts of the trail near the western tip of the lake to be especially bug-filled, given the rain from yesterday morning and the prevailing conditions. And it was very buggy.

I’m pretty sure I inhaled more than one. At one point it felt like I got something lodged in my windpipe and I tried clearing my throat. That didn’t seem to work so I coughed a few times. As I passed over a bridge I suddenly was taken with the urge to retch. This is not what one would call optimal running conditions. Fortunaqtely I did not retch, my stomach settled down and I finished thew run without further incident.

At times my shins felt a bit tender but I believe it was a combination of form (as the feeling went away when I concentrated on my form) and another five day layoff. This one was unintended, as other events ended up squeezing out my running time. I should be good to go again in two days, though.

Despite the mid-run glitch (between 6-7 km, — you can see my pace fall off by three seconds there) I turned in a solid 5:10/km average — identical to my last run, which was also after five days off. I got that consistency thing going.

And I must commend a polite and observant dog owner. She was walking two dogs, one on each side of her. The one on her left was stretched out on its leash, effectively blocking the path. I had to clear my throat as I approached and it served as a cue to her. She glanced back, saw me and neatly pulled the one dog close to her so I could pass. I waved and offered thanks as I did so. Why can’t all dog owners be like this? Thank you, nice lady!

Chart (blue indicates the run was done clockwise; purple = Burnaby Lake):

km Aug 1 Jul 27 Jul 20 Jul 17 Jul 14 Jul 11 Jul 9 Jul 6 Jul 4
1 km 4:51 4:56 4:53 4:56 4:45 4:54 4:58 5:08 4:58
2 km 4:52 4:54 4:56 4:54 4:47 4:56 4:58 5:11 5:02
3 km 4:56 4:55 4:55 4:58 4:56 4:51 4:58 5:03 5:08
4 km 4:58 4:56 5:00 4:58 4:54 5:01 5:07 5:17 5:12
5 km 5:00 5:00 5:01 5:00 4:54 5:03 5:10 5:20 5:14
6 km 5:01 5:02 5:02 5:02 4:59 5:03 5:12 5:22 5:15
7 km 5:04 5:04 5:03 5:04 5:00 5:04 5:15 5:25 5:17
8 km 5:06 5:06 5:05 5:06 5:02 5:06 5:17 5:27 5:19
9 km 5:07 5:07 5:06 5:08 5:04 5:08 5:19 5:30 5:21
10 km 5:09 5:09 5:06 5:09 5:06 5:10 5:20 5:31 5:21
11 km 5:10 5:10 — 5:10 5:01 4:59 — — —

 

 

Vancouver Pride Parade 2011

Last year I vowed not to return to watch the Pride Parade unless I could drag someone along to suffer with me. Who knew I’d find someone? Even better, my partner Jeff is a Pride Parade virgin. After expressing a desire to go I cautioned him that we would need to arrive early in order to find a place to sit, as standing was Very Bad.

We arrived later than planned but did indeed find a spot to sit about three blocks past the start of the parade route. Though it had rained earlier in the morning, by parade start the sky was clearing and it was a perfectly warm 21ºC. The parade began right on time and shortly after it did I came to realize the girls sitting directly in front of us (on the sidewalk curb) were Screamers. They screamed at most everything. They were also Grabbers. Any time a person strode by offering a cheap bead necklace, card, candy or condoms their hands were thrust out and waved around like flags urgently calling for surrender, except in this case they were asking the parade participants to surrender their loot to them. They made off with a pretty good haul.

The BC Liberals were once again absent.

Most of the left-leaning parties were represented, though the Conservatives and NPA also returned. Hedy Fry was again on hand after narrowly winning re-election in May. This time she was dressed merely in a silver sparkly gown, with no hint of power armor or alien headdress.

Spencer Chandra Herbert was again present and was as adorable-looking as ever. Elizabeth May always looks like she’s having the best time ever, kind of like a happy drunk. Vancouver Mayor Gregor Robertson is somewhat the same. He wore a snazzy shirt.

Crazy Naked Guy did not return. I wonder if perhaps he is now wandering happy and naked in the Great Beyond now. Or got arrested after last year’s parade.

I had predicted five floats of men in underwear and turned out to be under, as there were at least six — and that was with the Odyssey’s absence this year.

Again, the parade seemed to run out of gas in the last 15 minutes and Nic’s VGVA group was dead last instead of being merely third-from-last like in 2010. Here’s a great close-up of Nic lurching after an errant volleyball. Great except for that fat head in the way, a recurring theme in my photos given where I was sitting.

Despite making no effort to secure any loot myself I still came away with three items: a leaflet from the BC Civil Liberties Association (actually three of them — do I give off a civil liberties vibe or something?), a leaflet for a play called Bare: A Pop Opera (“He’s wearing glasses, I bet he goes to the theater!”) and finally a big blueberry gumball which I did not technically receive, as it bounced off my shoulder and landed in front of me. Jeff took it to help fight his morning mouth.

I will say this — having someone along, especially your partner — makes for a much better experience. I also greatly preferred a sore butt after sitting on concrete for nearly three hours vs. the sore back from years past. I still say they could knock a good 15 minutes off the parade and not lose much.

Fireworks 2011: China

With summer making a half-hearted appearance this year the opening night of the Celebration of Light fireworks was looking like it might be a little damp, with a few errant drops of rain falling shortly before the show was to begin at 10 p.m. Fortunately the deluge never arrived and we were able to watch China’s entry without getting soggy.

We assembled just south of the Innukshuk while it was still light, setting up on one section of the recently restored seawall. Apart from a smoker who occasionally lit up with one of his Designed-To-Find-And-Taunt-Non-Smokers cigarettes the crowd was well-behaved, even enthusiastic. As the intermittent rain fell I opted to leave Nic and his friends briefly to meet up with Jeff who was en-route, as he was bringing my kangaroo jacket (no, it’s not a hoodie, dammit). I walked along English Bay beach and the foot traffic grew more congested until it became something akin to that molasses in January thing. At the same time a stunt pilot was conducting silly and daring tricks over the bay and I, having the kind of mind I do, thought about how one of his tricks would tragically backfire and he’d come straight into the crowd I was trapped in the middle of.

That did not happen.

Instead, we watched a spectacular and dazzling Chinese show. Knock them for that whole communism/lead-in-everything stuff but darned if they don’t know how to put on an impressive fireworks display. The crowd left thoroughly sated.

Perhaps even more impressively, Jeff and I walked to the Waterfront SkyTrain station and still managed to get home before midnight, earlier than I had managed last year — and I was traveling within Vancouver that time, not out to the ‘burbs. Our SkyTrain trip was made further delightful by a foursome of Surrey youth who fit the stereotype to the letter. I mean, we are talking straight out of Casting 101 here. I say no more.

All in all, a pleasant evening.

The worst game show ever

Last night, post-run we turned the TV on whilst relaxing. ABC was airing a game show called 101 Ways to Leave a Game Show. Had it been compressed into its actual meaningful bits the show would have run maybe five minutes, tops. Instead, it dragged on for a full hour before reaching an abrupt conclusion that barely left time for the fast-scrolling closing credits.

It was horrible enough to watch once in order to mock it later. Later is now.

The contestants must answer what the Wikipedia link above generously describes as an ‘educated guess question’, which usually amounts to trivia that most people would be pretty clueless on (the most hot dogs eaten in a hot dog-eating contest, etc.) The one who answers the most incorrectly (“3 million hot dogs!”) gets ejected from the show in some violent physical manner, such as being tied to an anchor and being dragged off a dock (ignore the fleeting glimpse you see of the rescue boat appearing moments after the person is dunked). To make matters worse, some questions have multiple answers provided and the contestants must choose the correct answers while avoiding the one incorrect one–except one of the contestants is randomly forced to take that wrong answer as his or her choice. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed such idiotic game rule design.

In the episode that we watched one segment had the contestants suspended on ropes over the back of a boat. To add ‘drama’ a series of shots featuring a shark fin were shown and the trying-too-hard host pours ‘chum’ into the water to attract said sharks, the implication being that the losing contestant will be summarily devoured by said maneaters. This ignores the fact that the boat continues to speed well past the place where the ‘chum’ is dropped and if the contestants actually got eaten by sharks the producers would be serving time, not inflicting us with this imbecilic charade.

And that’s it, really–the send-offs for the losing contestants seem vaguely mean-spirited and borderline dangerous. The questions are useless trivia that don’t actually test a contestant’s intelligence in any meaningful way. Sticking random contestants with losing answers defeats any pretense to drama. As I said in the title, worst game show ever. Next time I’m resting post-run I’m going to play Bejeweled 2 on my iPhone.

The after five run

Distance: 11.15 km
Weather: Cloudy
Temp: 17ºC
Wind: light
Calories burned: 779
Average pace: 5:10/km
Total distance to date: 922 km

After 5 p.m. and after five days off, to be exact.

I hadn’t planned on five days off but my shins were feeling tender (though it’s never hurt for walking or post-run) so when my schedule didn’t line up for a run at the usual time I decided to give myself a little extra recovery time.

I returned to Burnaby Lake under a dreary gray sky (standard fare this summer). There was some slight humidity but nothing like the last run. My legs felt a big creaky, I had some light, persistent cramping but stamina was not an issue and overall I did about as expected given the time off, finishing with a 5:10/km pace — my second best time overall.

Prior to the run I had received two new mosquito bites on my left calf. I think these were from Amazonian mosquitoes or something because these suckers (ho ho) itched like nobody’s business.  Jeff slathered the bites with calamine and then dusted both legs with some Off to insure further bites would not occur. The good news is the number of bites did indeed remain constant. The bad news is each step taken with my left foot jarred the calf and the bites and was a source of irritation. Now imagine how many times you step over the course of 11.15 km. Yeah.

The trail was sparsely populated, no surprise given the weather. I had one encounter with an IEDO (ill-educated dog owner). Ahead of me was a couple with their dog — unleashed (bad!) on their left. Normally I pass on the non-dog side but this time there was more room on the left and the dog seemed to be moving on a steady, predictable course. As I got close the woman turned to the dog and, seeing me, suddenly called its name. The dog immediately froze in place, which happened to be directly in front of me. I nearly ran into it but managed to nimbly skirt to the left just in time. Had the woman said nothing I would have passed without incident. Had the dog been properly leashed nothing would have happened. People!

Chart (blue indicates the run was done clockwise; purple = Burnaby Lake):

km Jul 27 Jul 20 Jul 17 Jul 14 Jul 11 Jul 9 Jul 6 Jul 4 Jul 1
1 km 4:56 4:53 4:56 4:45 4:54 4:58 5:08 4:58 5:04
2 km 4:54 4:56 4:54 4:47 4:56 4:58 5:11 5:02 5:06
3 km 4:55 4:58 4:56 4:51 4:58 5:03 5:14 5:08 5:07
4 km 4:56 5:00 4:58 4:54 5:01 5:07 5:17 5:12 5:09
5 km 5:00 5:01 5:00 4:54 5:03 5:10 5:20 5:14 5:11
6 km 5:02 5:02 5:02 4:59 5:03 5:12 5:22 5:15 5:12
7 km 5:04 5:03 5:04 5:00 5:04 5:15 5:25 5:17 5:14
8 km 5:06 5:05 5:06 5:02 5:06 5:17 5:27 5:19 5:16
9 km 5:07 5:06 5:08 5:04 5:08 5:19 5:30 5:21 5:17
10 km 5:09 5:06 5:09 5:06 5:10 5:20 5:31 5:21 5:17
11 km 5:10 — 5:10 5:01 4:59 — — — 5:19