Mud run

After a one-day delay I finally hit the trail again after more than five weeks of non-jogging (or walking, if you prefer).

Conditions were 8ºC and overcast, with the threat of rain. By the time I got to China Creek Park it was misty, which is enough to thoroughly soak you without actually raining. The mist persisted throughout the run. I discovered my jacket is less than watertight.

I had dressed in three layers — t-shirt, long-sleeve shirt and light jacket, plus tights instead of shorts. I also wore a pair of running gloves. There was one other jogger at the park and all he was wearing was a t-shirt and shorts, both white. He looked like he had escaped from the set of Chariots of Fire. In retrospect I was probably slightly overdressed, especially considering there was little wind but it wasn’t bad. I warmed up all over but never got hot. Two layers would have sufficed up top and shorts are probably good until the temperature drops to at 5 degrees.

After a near steady month of rain large sections of the path at China Creek had become bog-like and pretty much impassable, forcing me to run inside on the grass for much of its length. Not a big deal, though. My pace was deliberately steady — no bursts of speed anywhere along the way — and I ran for a planned 20 minutes or so. I think I completed six laps, though I wasn’t keeping strict track.

I would have kept strict track except the Nike sensor apparently died during its long spell of inactivity, even though I turned it off specifically to save the battery. This just makes me hate Apple even more because they always pull this kind of crap (and yes, it’s an Apple product made in conjunction with Nike). Boo Apple! Boo, I say! Until I can find a decent alternative I’m stuck with getting a new sensor, though. I picture Steve Jobs rubbing his hands together with glee.

I’ll be running again in a couple of days and may extend the distance a little bit. We’ll see how it goes but I feel pretty good now. No real soreness and the injured calf seems to be fully healed.

Damn snow (November 2009 edition)

Yes, it’s the time of year where every other post is a complaint about the weather. We are on track for a wetter than normal November and in truth it doesn’t really bother me much. However, seeing this on the mountains makes my toes scrunch up in horror.

damn_snow_nov09

Damn snow.

A novel in 3 weeks!

On Saturday, November 21st (last night as I write this) I finished my novel for National Novel Writing Month. The Ferry is now a 50,810 word novel and the first I’ve actually finished. On reflection I am a little amazed I actually wrote a novel from beginning to end in just three weeks. The second draft will probably take a good deal longer to finish but I am relieved and happy to have gone through the experience. Once I get the second draft down and have a few people take a look-see at it, I’ll tackle the other novel that’s been rattling around in my head for the last decade or so.

Run like hell

Tomorrow is the day marked on my calendar as “I may run again!” It has now been four weeks of non-running as I recover from my sprained calf. Actually, it’s been more than five weeks as I took a few days off before going to the clinic but who’s counting? The answer is I am, dammit. I hated not being able to run.

The last time I did a complete run I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts and it was dry. Tomorrow the forecast is calling for rain and 7 Celsius for the high so it’ll be interesting to see the difference. I am planning on returning to China Creek for a nice easy 20 minute run. I imagine the trail is a bit soggy now, though running in the rain is something I find kind of refreshing. Watch as I eat these words soon!

Review: 2012 or Science is Hard

I saw 2012 tonight and the line-up beforehand was the biggest I’ve seen in awhile. Apparently the end of the world is going to be a big hit.

Rather than a traditional review, I will summarize 2012’s story in convenient list form. Follow the list and you, too, can write a globe-spanning disaster epic!

1. Make a list of great disaster movie scenarios, including:

  • earthquakes
  • volcanic eruptions
  • tidal waves

2. Combine all of the above.
3. Ask yourself, “Is this specific scenario ridiculous?” If the answer is no, make it ridiculous. If the answer is yes, go to 4.
4. Make the scenario even more ridiculous.
5. No one knows science anymore, so it’s okay to make everything up. When a character exclaims “That’s impossible!” cut to the next scene.
6. No one speaks French, either, so feel free to make that up, too.
7. Ramp up the urgency using the old “my calculations were off!” trick
8. Include at least one (1) each of the following:

  • plucky pet that barely makes it
  • noble sacrifice (ideally someone who becomes increasingly sympathetic as the story progresses)
  • wise old person who accepts death with quiet dignity
  • hero who appears to have died but wait — he’s OK!
  • 1-3 plucky kids
  • a sacrificing and decent president
  • 3-5 famous landmarks getting trashed (eg. White House, Sistine Chapel, Washington Monument, etc.)
  • a bad guy who gets his just rewards
  • a bad good guy who learns just what this whole humanity thing is all about

9. Pad out to 2 hours and 38 minutes.
10. Serve and enjoy!

They really took point #4 to heart. Spoilers follow but really, is it possible to spoil a Roland Emmerich film?

It’s not enough to have a colossal sea-going ark imperiled with an imminent collision with any old mountain, it must be Mt. Everest! This is a film that treats the supervolcano in Yellowstone erupting as a side event. You can’t have a tsunami wipe out the White House, you must have it struck by the USS John Kennedy aircraft carrier first — but not before showing the president looking up and literally saying his prayers.

The science was ludicrous, of course. #5 actually happens.

They had a cute Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator doing a news conference in one scene. Too bad Schwarzenegger won’t be governor in 2012 due to term limits. The end of the world comes even sooner for him. For some reason they had the Italian premier decide to stay behind and pray at the Vatican (which, of course, gets destroyed in lavish detail, complete with the oh-so-subtle symbolism of a giant fissure appearing between David and the hand of God in the Sistine Chapel).

But despite all this, I still had a good time. As disaster porn goes, this movie delivered. Everything from collapsing freeways and skyscrapers to capsizing cruise ships and trains shooting through instant new canyons, 2012 had it all. California literally slides into the ocean.

Jon Cusack is a likable actor but he really doesn’t have much of a role here as a good-but-flawed father/husband/writer. His character (and many of the others, really) survive too many implausible situations to count and I guess it’s hard to really figure out how you’d react to the world coming apart. You’d be upset and kind of panicky, maybe. The kids were decent but forgettable and Woody Harrelson hams it up as a radio broadcasting end-of-the-worlder. Despite running over 2.5 hours, the movie surprised me by not feeling so long. It helps that once you start ravaging the planet it’s hard to buy time for touching, quiet moments.

In closing, if you ever want to see a movie that features giraffes and elephants being airlifted by helicopter across the Himalayas, 2012 is the movie for you!

Of posts not written

It turns out writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days really cuts into the time you normally devote to going on about various inanities in your blog.

On the plus side, I am near 32,000 words as we hit the halfway mark, about 7,000 words ahead of the pace and I think the science in my story is probably more accurate than the science in 2012 (more on the in the next post). And mine is a horror story.

1980: The Year of Living Garishly

1980 is when the movie musical Xanadu came out. This was only a few years after Grease — which was a huge hit, so naturally musicals came into vogue again and not surprisingly most were crap. Xanada featured Olivia Newton-John, Gene Kelly (!) and the music of ELO. Sure it was high concept nonsense but I was 16 and didn’t know better. I recall coming away from the movie having rather enjoyed it.

Tonight, for reasons unclear to me I visited YouTube and checked out a number of songs from the movie and yikes, it’s terrible! Yes, the ELO songs are still great but they stand on their own quite nicely. In fact, it’s better if you close your eyes and skip the whole looking-at-the-video part of them. This is a musical that makes Grease look like a masterpiece and that one wanted you to buy Stockard Channing as a teenager.

Horribly dated, horribly shot, campy, kitschy but only somewhat self-aware of it, I get the feeling the actors had fun shooting this and Gene was content to pad the inheritance for his kids but if you can watch this with anything less than your jaw hanging open, unable to articulate how horrible it is, you’re a better person than me!

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band may still be worse, though.

Here’s the clip for All Over the World. Out of context I haven’t the foggiest what exactly was going on here. I think they’re picking out clothes for something. You know how that goes.

Only 48,000 words to go!

National Novel Writing Month is officially underway today. I am working on The Ferry, starting it over from scratch (it stalled out more than a decade ago with about 11,000 words written), retaining only the basic plot. The characters are new but carry a few similarities to the original ones. My progress is being tracked here. I’ve cracked the 2,000 word mark on my first day. Not bad.

The fun of Halloween

Tonight I saw the Halloween-appropriate Paranormal Activity. Shot in a cinéma vérité style, this low budget effort featured a good cast and nicely ratcheted up the stakes as said activities became more and more invasive. I have to admit I’m a sucker for the pseudo-documentary style of film-making and I think this one did a solid job of portraying the demon-afflicted couple in a (mostly) believable* manner. Less satisfying were the people occasionally talking (nervously?) amongst themselves in the audience and a number who constantly got up from their seats, perhaps feeling some nausea from the occasionally tipsy camera work. The guy to my left spent most of his time literally on the edge of his seat leaning forward and then glibly said at the end, “I want the last hour and forty minutes of my time back.” You’re not fooling anyone, Mr. Fraidy Cat!

* okay, there were several not-so-believable bits. SPOILERS FOLLOW. LOOK AWAY TO AVOID! Micah and Katie document the manifestations in their home using a big-ass video camera and the film shows them regularly reviewing the footage via a laptop “hooked up by Firewire” as Micah states several times. At one point the couple leaves the house with a Ouija board on the coffee table, with the camera recording it. The planchette busies itself scooting across the board and then bursts into flames. This was not enough to make them think perhaps staying in the house might not be a wise idea. On the final day, Katie insist on staying and says everything will be fine, then goes to sleep with a, I daresay, devilish smile on her face. Apparently Micah never reviewed this clip because I’d get the freak away at that point. But maybe that’s just me.

After the movie we strolled down Davie Street and being the clever lad I am , I quipped about Halloween on Davie — could you tell the difference? There were a surprisingly large number of people in costume, ranging from ultra-basic (cat ears) to elaborately made-up vampires, zombies and overweight cowboys. And fireworks. Lots of fireworks that even as I write this are still exploding somewhere a few houses over. People seem very intent on getting their money’s worth this year. Interestingly, Nic said this kind of tomfoolery isn’t indulged in back east. Maybe they just eat pumpkin poutine instead.

“The Danger of Halloween”

As originally seen in The Huffington Post.

Kimberly Daniels believes that Halloween is a very naughty sort of occasion. Some choice quotes from her piece on the subject:

During Halloween, time-released curses are always loosed. A time-released curse is a period that has been set aside to release demonic activity and to ensnare souls in great measure.

Those mini-Snickers you plan on handing out to the wee ones? Not only will they rot their teeth but also their soul!

During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

And finally:

There is no doubt in my heart that God is not calling us to replace fall festivals and Halloween activities; rather, He wants us to utterly destroy the deeds of this season. If you or your family members have opened the door to any curses that are released during the demonic fall festivals, renounce them and repent. I already have. Then declare with me: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!”

I think Ms Daniels would not approve of the decorations out in front of the house. I’ll have a few more added to the Halloween gallery tomorrow, including the pumpkins in all their candlelight glory. Everything is courtesy of the demented mind of Tim, of course.