What happens when you fall on a full carboy

A carboy is a large (5-15 gallon) bottle.

Tim uses these for his home brewing.

This morning as I was going about my usual routine I heard a tremendous crash upstairs. There seemed to be two aspects to it, which was odd. The first was kind of a smashing sound, the other a very large thump. The thing that came to mind was a large cabinet with glass doors being knocked over, but there is no such furniture upstairs. A few moments after this thud, water began sluicing down into my kitchen, mainly through the cupboard that houses the fusebox. This is bad but it could be a lot worse, as the water didn’t channel through the fusebox, but rather off to the side. Mostly it just makes a mess on my counter.

So now I had the smash, the thud and water pouring from up above. I call Tim. He says in a quiet voice, “Can you come upstairs and help me?”

When I get upstairs, this is the first thing I see when the door is opened (click to get a larger view):

Tim had dropped and fallen on a full carboy. He was holding a towel up to his right arm to prevent blood from pouring about the house in copious quantities. As it was he had left a pretty good trail from the accident to the bathroom:

I fished out the first aid kit from under the sink and bandaged up the bleediest parts of his arms, one of which had a wound that looked like it went right to the bone. He got 15 stitches in that one. He feared the same arm was broken but fortunately that turned out not to be the case.

While he was off to emergency (via cab, he felt an ambulance was not needed) I cleaned up the gore-filled house of horrors. apparently I cleaned up a chunk of Tim in the process, which I am happy to report I did not notice at the time. I also let Barley out so he could pee. He was just getting to the whining stage by the time I’d finished the mopping and sweeping. Whining = “I’m going to pee, it is your choice where that happens.”

All in all, not the usual start to the morning but it could have been worse.

I am now going to try convincing Tim to switch to six packs. In cans.