random music videos

Shiny cringy people

R.E.M. famously knocked their own song, “Shiny Happy People”, dismissing it as a “children’s song” with the implication that this somehow made it less worthy than their more serious fare.

And R.E.M. got very serious with the albums that followed the release that featured this song (1991’s Out of Time). The zany R.E.M. was dead, replaced by the self-important band that was happy (!) to leave behind any sense of playfulness. Instead, we got Around the Sun.

Yeah.

But prior to 1992’s (actually excellent) Automatic for the People, R.E.M. wasn’t afraid of being light and silly, with songs like this or “Stand” (1988) or “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine)” (1987).

That said, while I still find the song an effervescent pop gem, I have to admit the video is a bit cringy. Peter Buck looks vaguely uncomfortable every time you see him. Bill Berry is hamming it up and having a good ol’ time. Mike Mills is earnestly pitching in on a stand-up bass. Kate Pierson (of The B-52s) is slinky and fabulous. Michael Stipe is dressed in clothes that look randomly collected from a thrift store and is wearing a weird backwards cap (his hat phase).

Things get interesting at about the 2:43 mark, when a bunch of people appear alongside the band to shimmy and shake their way through the rest of the video. It’s an eclectic mix of people, the clothes have a clear early 90s vibe. And…wait, that mix of people isn’t as eclectic as it first seems. If you look, there are a lot of young college-age guys dancing around. In fact, if you were casting a movie about a bunch of young college guys, you’d have them right here, ready to go. Why do I get the feeling that Michael Stipe hand-picked each one of them? That rascal.

Here’s the video. Judge for yourself!

UPDATE: Nic offered a perfect description: “That video is precisely calibrated to make 90s bisexuals explode”

Here’s what I consider the prime example: Purple t-shirt guy with some sort of beret (?). He seems VERY happy (and look at Bill Berry in the background. He is clearly grooving).

Funkytown (1986 cover by Pseudo Echo)

Yes, I have become obsessed with this silly song. After watching the previously linked video a few times, YouTube sensed I wanted more and presented me with the Australian band Pseudo Echo’s 1986 cover, which features guitar solos and even better, guitar synths!

This is a strange and delightful fusion of rock, and I absolutely adore the chorus with those giant chunky synths that the 80s were known for. And it’s clear the band had great fun covering the song.

Also, tucking your t-shirt into your pants was a big thing in the 80s. Not as big as most of the hair, mind you.

The most 80s thing I’ve seen since the 80s

I never knew there was a video for the song “Funky Town” but of course there is. And it is magnificently 80s, from the pink jumpsuits to the “sophisticated” video effects, the line that sounds like the intro to a 1980s video game and, of course, the robot (dance). It truly has it all.

It’s also a pretty weird song, when you think about it.

Even the YouTube thumbnail is amazing!

https://youtu.be/jPF59O7_qw0

Why are YouTube comments so weird? They are weird.

Or “Nice song…IF YOU’RE DEAD AND/OR DYING.”

The algorithm burbled up Queensrÿche’s “Silent Lucidity” on YouTube, and it’s been awhile since I listened to the song, so I watched the video.

It’s still a very nice song, and yes, it still sounds a lot like Pink Floyd. I submit that if Dave Gilmour recorded vocals for it and had included it on The Division Bell, no one would have suspected a thing. In fact, it might have been picked as the best song on the album. Zing!

Anyway, I started reading the comments because I wanted to see if people were still making the comparison to Pink Floyd (the song was released as a single way back in 1991), but instead I found what almost feels like a parody of YouTube comments, where everyone is proclaiming how old they are for reasons (??) or how the song means something to them because someone they know died or nearly died or maybe they themselves died, which I guess are things that can happen, but most especially happen in YouTube comments. Am I a bad person to find these comments weird? Probably. Here are some samples:

I played this song after I was dealing with health issues 4 years ago. And 3 years later today, I’m now cancer free!

85 years old and music is my life.

Just played at my Mother’s funeral.

Boyfriend of 6 years only ever played this song for me after he was diagnosed with cancer.

PLEASE SHOW YOUR CHILDREN THIS MUSIC

I’m a 97 years old man and i love this song so much!!!.

OMG Im 55 years old and heard this song yesterday

It’s my late husband’s birthday today

Reminds me when I was in rehab for a year

My mom would play this song for my brother and I when we were younger. She passed away 5 years ago today.

This was the first song I heard in ICU after coming off sedation .

My late husband practiced and practiced until he got this just right on his guitar.

My son is special needs, almost died at 20 days old

My dad passed away one month ago because of covid-19, he dedicated me this song when I was just a kid

And an actual Pink Floyd reference!

Una obra maestra a nivel Pink floyd. En mi top 10 de temas preferidos del rock! Translation: A Pink Floyd level masterpiece. In my top 10 favorite rock songs!

Oh, and here’s the actual video, for reference:

High definition video, low definition lyrics

Recently YouTube announced that it was updating a lot of classic or alleged classic music videos to HD versions. Better picture, better sound! What’s not to like?

I am an unapologetic fan of Lady Gaga’s video for the song “Bad Romance” (this is not exactly an exclusive club, the video has over one billion views). I think the director, Francis Lawrence, and Gaga did a fantastic job in fusing the music and imagery together, something so seemingly fundamental for a music video, yet so often eludes others. The action and camera move sleekly to the music and vocals, and somehow the abrupt shifts in style work. The choreography is quirky, fluid and occasionally a bit predictable (Gaga is fond of the “jack off” gesture).

The lyrics are not spectacular, though a lot of people probably miss the three Hitchcock references tucked into one verse, but there is a verse that goes like this:

Walk, walk fashion baby, work it move that bitch crazy
Walk-walk fashion baby, work it move that bitch crazy
Walk-walk fashion baby, work it move that bitch crazy
Walk-walk passion baby, work it I'm a free bitch baby

As you can see, the word “bitch” is used four times. Edgy! But that was 2011. In 2019 the word is not used in polite company anymore. It seems even ironic, self-claimed usage has fallen from favor. Gay men cannot say, “Bitch, please.” Women can not call each other by this term. It is, as a word, passe.

The HD version of the video has removed “bitch.” Or to be more accurate, it’s removed the last two letters. That’s right, the video now has Gaga very clearly saying “bit”:

Walk, walk fashion baby, work it move that bit crazy
Walk-walk fashion baby, work it move that bit crazy
Walk-walk fashion baby, work it move that bit crazy
Walk-walk passion baby, work it I'm a free bit baby

What does “I’m a free bit baby” even mean? Is Gaga now saying we are all machine-made designs, composed of nothing but bits and bytes, living our seemingly real lives in a perpetual virtual reality? And that she has, Neo-like, broken from the virtual chains, claiming her independence as a free bit?

Or could they just not come up with something that rhymed with “bitch”, still worked and decided “bit” was close enough. It is an exercise left to the viewer.

It’s also kind of silly, like Spielberg changing the guns the government agents had to walkie talkies in the 20th anniversary release of E.T. (this version of the film has been dropped in subsequent releases, with Spielberg regretting the change). I can see the argument to improve the visual presentation of a piece of work, whether it’s a film or a music video. For example, some of the special effects and exterior shots of the Enterprise and planets were either redone or made from scratch for a new version of the original Star Trek series, for a 2006 re-release. The effects were deliberately toned down, to keep them in line with the aesthetic of the original show. There are purists who would object to any changes, but in general most would see these changes as refinements on the original. The artists were not adding or removing content, nor were they changing it other than to simply improve the look of the admittedly cheaply-made visual effects of the time.

The Gaga lyrics change is a lot more like Spielberg’s walkie talkies, trying to take back an artistic choice and to that I say, just live with it and move on. Altering the video won’t change–or remove–the original. Either make a statement on the remastered HD version (“I would not use the same language today and regret the wording”) or provide two versions, the original and the altered (which Spielberg did in 2002 with E.T. before dropping the altered version entirely).

It’s a small thing and I mostly call it out because “bit” is a nonsensical substitution. Yet it calls to me, somehow, and so I claim that I am also a free bit, baby.

The world we live in

I did that thing tonight where I watched a particular video on YouTube and ended up going on to watch a bunch of mostly-unrelated videos. One of them was Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance,” which is a catchy song with a well-choreographed video (seriously, it’s obvious the director is meticulously timing the entire video to the actual music, something you don’t see that often).

One of the things I noticed is the video has over one billion views. It was released in 2009 so it’s had time to acquire those views, but it’s still a staggering number.

But more than the number of views, I was struck by the number of comments.

802,810.

If you read one comment per second, it would take you 223 hours (over nine days) to read them all. Also you would be insane.

And this is the world we live in.

I am afraid.

Best YouTube comment ever

This is admittedly a very low bar to clear. It’s actually rolling around on the ground.

Still, in a comment for America’s “You Can Do Magic” video (their last notable hit, released in 1982), this is offered:

Love this video. It’s like a bunch of dads from the neighborhood got together to write a killer tune the last Sunday before football started.

Now watch the video and tell me if you disagree. You can’t, because it’s totally true. Or should be.

(Fixed link to direct to official video. Enjoy!)

Some of the most embarrassing music videos ever (from the 1980s)

These are personal picks and they coincidentally are all from the 1980s because the 80s were both chockablock full of terrible music videos and it also happened to be the decade when I was old enough to really got into music. You can find more “official” choices out there like WatchMojo’s Top 10 Good Songs with Bad Music Videos (you’ll see some duplication on my list). My one criteria in the following selections is this: Do I cringe while watching? If the answer is yes, the video is a winner (at being cringe-inducing).

Here they are in no particular order:

Journey, “Separate Ways”

In some ways it’s hard to describe what makes something very 80s but you know it when you see it. Here, it might be the woman’s puffed hair and overly made-up face. Or maybe it’s Steve Perry’s everything. The air instruments alone guarantees this video’s spot but really, the whole thing is difficult to watch. You feel bad for these guys. Then you remember how much money they had.

Enjoy!

Starship, “We Built This City”

Sometimes cited as the worst song of the 80s, the video is a fine companion to it. Never mind that a song extolling the virtues of rock and roll is a top-heavy mess of synthesizers, the lead singer can’t dance and several times he literally stands facing the camera with his mouth hanging open, waiting to sing the next part of the song. The rest is a hodgepodge of extras and stylized scenes of Las Vegas because when I think of rock and roll, I think of Vegas.

Man, even the still you get before playing the video is cringe-worthy.

Wham!, “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”

I’ll confess, I pretty much hated this song. It was catchy but insipid. The video takes these qualities and turns them up to a million. The fashion transcends being 80s to looking like the random results of piecing together whatever was found after a rainbow exploded in a clothing factory. I mean, look at this still image I grabbed:

Colorful Wham!

Also, George Michael’s teeth are supernaturally white. It’s kind of creepy.

Styx, “Mr. Roboto”

This is a good example of a perfect marriage, with both song and video being equally silly and cringe-inducing. Part of the concept album Kilroy Was Here, this song features lead singer Dennis DeYoung disguising himself as a robot to help secretly undermine the authoritarian regime that has made music illegal or something. But if he’s in disguise, why do the lyrics include lines like, “my brain is IBM”? DeYoung over-emotes throughout and early in the video he spontaneously switches from being disguised as a robot to mincing around in a purple jumpsuit. He later inexplicably grabs a robot and starts singing loudly at it, possibly to torture it. And us.

Queen, “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”

I quite liked this song when it was released as a single way back in 1980. It’s a breezy little Elvis-style ditty. The video features the band as the least-convincing group of greasers ever. Freddie Mercury struts around, jackets mysteriously appearing and disappearing on him and toward the end of the video someone apparently handed him a microphone because he’s suddenly got one in his hand. One of the dancers tears Mercury’s shirt open. It magically repairs itself later. The dancers look like they got lost on their way to a Broadway production of Cats or maybe Starlight Express. Brian May grimaces throughout.

And a bonus from 1975:

Neil Sedaka, “Bad Blood”

Neil Sedaka’s brown jacket and yellow shirt represent stylish 1970s fashion in the same way the shark from Jaws represents safe ocean swimming. The song is about a woman who done the protagonist wrong, with the chorus charmingly including the lyrics, “The bitch is in her smile.” Sedaka nonetheless mugs and grins throughout the song as if it’s some Barry Manilow show tune. There’s an odd bit halfway through where he suddenly stands up from the piano and starts clapping and singing to the same person off-camera that he’s been over-emoting to throughout the video.

Elton John, who embraced 70s fashion as the tasteless spectacle it was, shares vocals but, perhaps suspecting something was up, does not appear in the video.

What does the fox say?

Over 30 million views and counting to find out:

Since seeing this video I have repeatedly had the stupid song get stuck in my head. I hope that my small part in helping it spread throughout the Internet will purge it from my brain, somehow.