random thoughts

Is it the little things? Yes (even when they’re not donuts)

The first major update for Windows 10 came out recently. It adds the usual assortment of enhancements, fixes and tweaks, but of all of these things the one that pleases–nay, delights–me the most is allowing title bars to actually have color again.

In Windows 8 it was possible to adjust the color of the title bar but not the color of the text, which was always black. This meant you could make the text effectively invisible by making title bars black or some other dark shade. Windows 10 changed this by taking away all choice. You had black text on a white title bar, except for arbitrary apps Microsoft slapped color title bars on–and you also couldn’t adjust those, even to make them match the white ones. It was interface design channeled through a 1970 Soviet committee.

Now, though, I can have a friendly, soothing blue title bar on every program. I open Word and a wave of calm washes over me, like a gentle and warm tide. Then I struggle to remember how to make hidden text visible and start grinding my teeth. Focus on the title bar, I think, let the blue calm me. And it works. That and closing Word. Really, after a billion versions Microsoft should be doing more than slapping a coat of paint on the thing every couple of years. I’m leaning toward going back to WriteMonkey or some other tool that focuses more on actual writing and less on doing everything ever with text and stuffing the means to do these multitude of things in an endless series of icons, ribbons and dialog choices. (Hidden text can be shown by going to File > Options > Display and checking “Hidden text” under the “Always show these formatting marks on the screen” option. But you probably already knew that.)

Anyway, colored title bars are nice. Windows 10 is now officially 23% better.

The 12 best reasons to buy Jonathan Coulton’s Thing a Week albums

In 2006 Jonathan Coulton released a song a week (hence thing a week) and ultimately put together all of the songs in a collection spanning four albums (for the younger, “albums” are a bunch of songs collected together that were originally available in quaint formats such as cassette tape and compact disc). You can (and should) buy them here: http://www.jonathancoulton.com/store/downloads/ because they are funny, fun and “funny.”

Need 12 more reasons to buy these albums? Maybe you just like lists of songs? I’ve got both covered directly below.

  1. W’s Duty (samples of George W. Bush using the word “duty” set to a grungy beat. It’s funny because Bush consistently makes the word sound like “doody.” It’s also juvenile, which is precisely why it is funny)
  2. Shop Vac (catchy skewering of suburban life and the fan-made kinetic typography video is pretty good, too)
  3. The Town Crotch (a surprisingly warm reminisce about growing up in a small town and a loose woman with big hair)
  4. A Talk with George (the serious side of Coulton features George Plimpton telling you to live your life. There is no mention of Intellivision.)
  5. Re: Your Brains (obligatory [?] zombie song featuring lines such as “I’m not a monster, Tom/Well, technically I am”)
  6. Tom Cruise Crazy (good thing he’s not gay anymore)
  7. Famous Blue Raincoat (a mesmerizing cover of Cohen’s song that ups the tempo but remains haunting)
  8. Creepy Doll (effective use of spooky music/sound, complete with twist ending)
  9. Under the Pines (jaunty tale of a Leonard Nimoy/Bigfoot love affair)
  10. Mr. Fancy Pants (short, funnier than it should be–pants are just inherently funny, I think–and toe-tappingly catchy)
  11. I’m Your Moon (more hooks than Saturn has rings, this song about Pluto is weirdly touching)
  12. Pull the String (Coulton would probably be considered a “serious” artist if he put out entire albums of songs like this. I’m glad he doesn’t but equally glad he indulges himself with this kind of straightforward but compelling songcraft)

Anyone familiar with these albums will notice I only included one cover (“Famous Blue Raincoat”) because while most of the others are quite good (he sounds almost eerily like Paul McCartney on “I Will” and you’re probably wearing suspenders and have your pants hiked to your nipples if you don’t find his delivery in “Baby Got Back” amusing) his original songs are better. And “Don’t Talk to Strangers” is still a lousy song, even when being covered by Jonathan Coulton.

But enough with the negative. Go buy these albums, and if his website is offering plush dolls of George Plimpton and Bigfoot, buy those, too. Funny, intelligent and musically talented is a rare combination to be treasured–and rewarded.

Here’s the breakdown of songs I picked from each Thing a Week album:

  1. 1, 2, 3
  2. 4, 5
  3. 6, 7
  4. 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 (yes, I do think he saved the best for last)

A small and slightly depressing thing

If you search for “cat” on Google, you will get approximately 1.67 billion results. In general if you search on Google or other search engines you will get more results than you could ever reasonably look though. They may not necessarily all be quality results (hit 1.67 billion on “cat” may prove unsatisfying) but you will find more than enough to satisfy your needs.

However, it is surprisingly easy to yield few results, quality or otherwise, on things that may not seem particularly obscure, especially if they pre-date the Internet, which the first 30 years or so of my life covers. This means my nostalgic reminisces often rely on my memory or fabrications of memory rather than actual mementos of the past as captured and chronicled on the web.

For example, there was a fudge bar I liked as a kid. I vaguely recall the packaging and that it was just called “fudge” or something. I can’t find it online. All I have is my dusty memory. If I could find it online, who knows, there may even be a modern version I could purchase, to truly immerse myself in the past when everything except clothing and hairstyles was better.

Actually, I just did a search and I’m reasonably sure it was Cadbury’s fudge bar, which is indeed called Fudge. None of the images are of the version I enjoyed in 1975 so my point still sort of stands, mostly. More importantly, I have an incredible urge to stuff my face with fudge.

I can see the music

When I was 20 I didn’t really look back at the previous two decades of my life. I didn’t really look forward. Thirty seemed very old, in its own way. I didn’t even need to watch Logan’s Run to sense that. I just lived in the moment and stumbled along with youthful exuberance.

I remember being mildly traumatized when I turned 26, struck at how most of my 20s were behind me, that I was inescapably an adult and I would probably need to start acting like one. Three years later I grew a beard.

I never looked much into the future or thought about getting older much since the mini-crisis of turning 26. Turning 30 didn’t phase me and neither did 40. I started running at age 44 and by 50 I’d logged over 3,100 km jogging. At the same time I never really got into long term planning, never managing to successfully move beyond the stumbling approach of my youth. The difference now is if I stumble I have an increased chance of breaking a hip [old person joke].

What I have found in the last few years is an increasing tendency to look back to my youth and the things I enjoyed back then. This is nothing unusual, most of us do it as it brings a sense of comfort and familiarity as we grapple with the dawning realization that we are, in fact, mortal, and our time is limited, barring reincarnation as someone famous, spiffy or perhaps just a beetle that gets eaten by a curious cat. Or maybe post-death is some truly fabulous thing and no one ever comes back to offer concrete proof of this because our mortal minds could not handle that level of fabulousness.

All of this is to say that tonight I ended up on one of those nostalgia treks that led me to listening to the song “Something About You”, the 1985 hit from Level 42. It was a catchy song. I put the album its from, World Machine, on my wishlist in iTunes (not Groove, which, if it has a wishlist, probably adds random albums and songs that it determines are what you really want, not the ones you’ve selected, then deletes the list at some random point in the future, anyway). I continued my trek, listening to a smidgen of Cyndi Lauper, Roxy Music, Hole and yes, Nazareth. I found myself hovering over the Play button on Boston’s “More Than a Feeling” but had to draw the line somewhere. If you could wear out YouTube videos, I’d be close on that one.

I may have wishlisted the self-titled Boston album, though.

Most of my nostalgia is music-related because music is so of its time and is great at invoking memories in ways that TV shows, movies and books simply don’t. I’m re-reading Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, for instance, but I couldn’t tell you when or where exactly I had read the book before, except that it was when I was young. I’m actually kind of shocked at how little I remember of the book (it’s quite good). But there are things I do sometimes look back on wistfully. I will reminisce about them soon in another post that pushes me that much closer to “old man yells at cloud” territory.

Fun alternatives to IT (fun not necessarily included)

I did a search using the phrase “best alternative career for IT.” Here are some of the results.

TechRepublic offers 10 alternative careers for burned-out IT workers. The title holds promise but the first suggestion is “Auto repair” and the last is “Farming,” with “Cosmetology” (hair design) somewhere in the middle. I don’t drive, I like farms best when I see them on TV and don’t have to smell them, and I don’t have any hair, making me a poor expert on the subject. To be fair, the author also suggests writing, teaching and other more obvious choices but somehow the list ended up leaving me mildly depressed.

I don’t dislike IT but I find as time marches on in that way it has a habit of doing I want less and less to spend my time fixing tech problems (mine or others) and more time making things. Creating things. Designing things (but not hair).

ZDNet has Five alternative careers for IT pros. This list may not be for me. I’m not a fancypants pro, just some schmuck offering tier one and two support. But I read on and…technology insurance underwriter? Equity analyst? Account executive? I have clearly found the difference between IT and IT pro because these occupations are about as appealing to me as rolling in honey and napping on a fire ant nest. I’m not saying these would be bad jobs for someone, but just uttering the phrase “technology insurance underwriter” comes close to inducing narcolepsy for me.

I looked at some of the less IT-specific searches and found 7 Alternatives to Working a Regular Job You Don’t Like. The title is a bit harsh as applied to me (I don’t actively dislike my job), but let’s see what bold ideas the Happier Abroad blog has:

  • Self-employment doing what you love. For me the best fit here would be writing. If you like this post please send me $10,000 to get started on making this dream happen.
  • Adopt a more minimalist lifestyle focused more on spirituality, interpersonal relationships, frugality and richness of experiences, rather than on materialism and status. Or, be happy being poor. I tried this before, it didn’t work.
  • Find a rich partner to date or marry. Direct, but not really practical. I’m already in a happy relationship and while money is nice and poverty sucks, I prefer a balance. My substitute option would be Win the lottery.
  • Live with your parents. My dad died 24 years ago. This would be awkward.

In the end the easiest thing to change is my attitude but I don’t think lobotomies are legal anymore so I’m probably stuck with mine for awhile yet. At least my hip doesn’t hurt anymore.

Not tonight, I have a headache

I really do have a headache as I write this. It is being worked over by a pair of Extra Strength Tylenol. It took awhile but they seem to be masking the pain reasonably well now. I feel like I may be coming down with something (I have been both cold and flu-free all year so I’m due) but maybe it’s just more of that possible new allergy or allergies I’ve picked up. I’m on Day 7 of my two week Reactine test and so far I haven’t found they’ve made much difference to my clogged sinuses.

On the plus side, my right leg is actually starting to feel improved, even without any physiotherapy. Time heals all wounds and all that. Well, except wounds that cause dismemberment. Once that leg gets lopped off, you ain’t never growing a new one no matter how long you wait. But we can dream. Yes, that is what I will do, dream of a groovy future where we can grow back new limbs and eventually and inevitably it becomes trendy and fashionable to have extra limbs just because we can. There could be practical applications, though. How many times have you thought a third hand would be nice to have? Not many, probably. Maybe you’ve never thought about it at all. But think about it now and you’ll probably admit a third hand would, on occasion, come in handy (pardon the pun). I can’t actually come up with a good example right at the moment, probably because these mixed medications have addled my brain. This is why I’m going to bed soon, to have addled dreams in which I am a horrifying mutant with three hands, four legs and two heads that argue with each other over how stupid this blog post is before coming to agreement that it is, above all else, quite stupid.

Good night.

Posting is hard

Actually, it’s not, it just takes focus and a little time. I have a smidgen of the latter and not much of the former lately. If this were a diary-style blog (and I’m sure there’s one or two out there) I’d go into lavish detail over what has distracted me from posting but it isn’t, so I won’t.

All shall remain shrouded in mystery.

I will try to post more, though.

For now, enjoy this random cat gif I found after doing a random search in Google:

Funny-Cat-GIF

Hello blog

I have a rule I try to follow when it comes to posting on this blog and that is to not just air complaints. Sometimes (sometimes more than sometimes) I break this rule, provided I can make the complaint with style or insight.

It is not easy.

But complaining, that is easy. Delightfully easy.

But I resist, because lists of complaints are kind of boring to read.

I hope to be posting more often soon. I know at least several spambots are excited about this.

March shmarch

Obligatory post on the first day of the month.

Environment Canada is reporting that March will likely be cooler than normal for most areas of the country. We have the possibility of snow in the forecast again.

However, things are looking up on several other fronts, so I am cautiously optimistic than this month will be better than the cruel mistress that was February.

I will start the month with a semi-hopeful haiku:

March enters the scene
Spring is close enough to see
Snow is forbidden

My long personal nightmare is finally over

I think I’ve gotten over my Bejeweled addiction.

I’ve unfortunately replaced it with a Mahjong addiction but at least I get semi-profound chunks of wisdom at the end of each game. You know, stuff like “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” or  “Man, I hope you invested in some good shoes if you’re walking a thousand miles”.

In fact, I think I’ll head off to enrich my life with more ancient wisdom right now.