When I first started growing a beard, it was not intentional. I simply skipped shaving for a few weeks because I was in college at the time and looking a bit scruffy was not a problem. One might argue it was even to be expected. A classmate asked me if I was growing a beard. I had never given such a thing any thought because the most I had managed in the past was a weasel-like mustache. But I hated shaving, so this innocent question instantly translated itself in my mind to “You know you can grow a beard now, right, and totally skip having to shave?” I answered “Yes!” and the rest is (fur-faced) history. But for a bit of madness back in mid-December when I got curious enough to check out how I’d look clean-shaven, I have been beardy since 1993.
As I was soon to discover back then, a beard is not easy street when it comes to face care. Sure, I could just let it grow wild and woolly, but then I’d look like a skinny and crazy mountain man. And neck beards scare me. So I had to trim it regularly and shave around the neck to prevent that hair-carpeting-your-body look. This was manageable. But last year I lopped off the sides for a smaller, neater circle beard. This meant more shaving. I adapted, like the brave soul I am.
But now it seems the more I shave, the more I need to shave. It is curious how the body, as it ages, begins growing more hair where you least want it (eg. face), while shedding it from where you do want it (eg. top of head). My current theory is that the shaving cream has a hair growth agent in it, insuring that I need to re-supply regularly. I further theorize that the Foamy can is designed to splooge approximately five times as much cream into your hand than you actually need in order to empty said can five times faster than would happen otherwise, further necessitating frequent refills. Either that or I have a hair-trigger finger because I swear, all I do is tap the button and FOOM the can explodes a grapefruit-sized ball of foam into my waiting hand. I’m not that hairy. Yet.