These would be nice, but not essential.
- Hair. In a way, having a shaved head is nice. It’s very low maintenance. I can’t have bad hair days. But a big, lush head of Robert Plant hair would be nice to tousle in slow motion. Until I had to wash it, and you know, actually take care of it.
- Money. Would lots of money turn me into an evil, hedonistic monster? I’d be willing to find out.
- Better taste in clothes. I’m not horrible, but I’m not great, either. I wear (nice) sweatpants with little shame. I can’t see where exactly this would help me, but it seems like something that would be nice to have.
- Patience. Everyone can always use more of this, right? Not to be confused with the Guns ‘N Roses song, which is okay and does not try my patience.
- Passion. Passionate people are weird and scare me, yet I long to join their wild-eyed club. My passion is more like a warm bowl of soup. It’s fine, but it doesn’t last and you can only re-heat it so many times before it gets kind of gross.
- Muscles. Who doesn’t want to be big and brawny? Well, me, actually. But to have nicely-toned muscles, to have a body that makes people notice without immediately thinking, “Loser must live in a gym”? I could handle that. What I can’t handle is the exercise necessary for getting these muscles.
- More as they cross my mind.
