My brain is complicated and is thinking on its own (I think)

As I’ve reported before, my trusty Garmin Forerunner 255 has been reporting that I have been under a great deal of stress, experiencing high stress while sleeping and generally having Very Stressful days for about two months now. At first, I thought it was misinterpreting my kidney infection as stress and acted accordingly. But I’ve been off the antibiotics for a few weeks now and haven’t seen any return of symptoms, yet the Very Stressful reports persist.

So, I thought, maybe it’s something else. What else has coincided with the infection over the past few months?

  • I have basically stopped running. This isn’t permanent, I took a break after tripping and hurting my hands on my last run on December 30, then got hit with resurgent infection, finally seemed to recover from that and now there is snow on the ground. But I will run again.
  • Dealing with the infection and aftermath (there are more tests forthcoming for other things discovered that may be innocuous or could be more serious).
  • I have done little in the way of creativity: few drawings, no work on the game. I have been writing, but it’s mainly been the nonsense you’re reading on this blog right now.
  • Dealing with condo/strata stuff, as we restarted our efforts to shed the current council and management company (the latter of which specifically started harassing us last summer).

So, that’s a lot of stuff. Some I can deal with easily. I can fix not running by running. I can fix not drawing by drawing. The health stuff I just need to put aside for now. I feel fine and there’s nothing else to be done at the moment.

But the condo stuff, this got my attention this morning when I realized something: My mind wanders over to it constantly. When I say constantly, I am not engaging in hyperbole, or even just regular bole. Multiple times this morning, I caught myself thinking about condo stuff. It just comes up, unbidden, in my mind. Really, it’s kind of weird. It’s like my brain has adapted to just slotting in thoughts about the condo/strata whenever I’m not focused on anything else.

I think this may be a large part of my Very Stressful days.

Now, I do and will have to deal with strata stuff for at least a few more months, so there is no escaping it. But I don’t need to be constantly thinking about it. So my goal is to somehow train my mind to not think about it or if I do, to quickly divert to some other thought, such as:

  • Kittens
  • Puppies
  • Pop Tarts (just thinking, not eating)
  • Grassy meadows
  • Summer
  • A nice relaxing bubble bath
  • Walking alone among sequoias
  • Etc.

Basically, anything that will focus me away from strata and onto something relaxing.

I’ll see how it goes and report my findings soon, in the name of science and possibly my sanity.

I still find these weird things groovy

As a kid, I loved these things. As an adult, I still do, even if my approach to them now is more…nuanced.

When I was nine years old, I remember watching Chariots of the Gods in Duncan’s sole movie theatre. It was cheesy good fun. Someone threw their bucket of popcorn at the screen. Not a true believer, I guess. I also watched Mysterious Monsters in 1976, which, if I remember accurately, imagined Bigfoot as being kind of a rude jerk to people, crashing into their cabins and making a mess.

These aliens and monsters undoubtedly tap into some part of my psyche that loves the mysterious and unexplained for reasons I, uh, can’t explain. I mean, why is red someone’s favourite colour?

Anywhere, here’s the list of the weird things I still find groovy:

  • Bigfoot/Yeti. Will also answer to Sasquatch/Abominable Snowman.
  • The Loch Ness Monster and other similar creatures, like the more local Ogopogo.
  • Ghosts, poltergeists and the like. Boo!
  • UFOs or as they are often called now, UAPs. To a lesser degree: aliens [guy from Ancient Aliens gesturing].
  • Cryptoids. These are really adjacent to the first two items.

There’s other wacky stuff as a kid that I found interesting, but more in a horror story kind of way, like:

  • Witches, vampires and the like
  • Demons, and all that (the Satanic panic of my youth was something I found highly amusing)

Now, as someone pretending to be a relatively sophisticated adult, do I actually believe in any of these things? Not really.

BUT.

I am willing to entertain the notion that some of these things may exist. It does make me wonder why we have yet to uncover incontrovertible proof, though. Also, it’s hella (as they say) easy to fake photos, video and other evidence these days. Also also, there’s about a billion ghost hunting and UFO shows around, which kind of dilutes the mystery and turns it into Product.

But in the end, it doesn’t really matter to me. The best part about a mystery is the mystery. Once it’s solved, you shrug and move on. I don’t want to shrug, I want to revel in the delicious and improbable possibility of a big stinky humanoid wandering the forests of the Pacific Northwest and who isn’t just a tall hippie opposed to bathing on principle. Like Mulder, I want to believe.

I’m willing to settle for being entertained.

Random things I remember from growing up in Duncan in the 1970s

I was six when the 70s started and 16 when it ended, so it pretty much encapsulates all of my childhood that I can still remember. Or think I can remember.

Kids, hold onto your smartphones as you hear about the primitive olden days:

  • Having a single phone in the house, in the hallway. It had a long coiled cord and was rotary. In the first few years it was also a party line.
  • One TV, in the living room. Maybe a 20 or 25-inch screen? It was colour, though! The guys watched Hockey Night in Canada every Saturday. I was not really into hockey. I was an artist! (See entry below on The Letterbox.)
  • The neighbours at the end of the block had seven chestnut trees in their year. We would put chestnuts on shoestrings and have chestnut fights, one of many dumb things we did as kids.
  • Speaking of dumb things: lawn darts! We played on the boulevard in front of the house.
  • A less dumb activity was bouncing on inner tubes in the same spot, using them as somewhat inefficient trampolines.
  • I would chop wood for our fireplace, because you were allowed fireplaces in the city back then. It was cozy in the winter.
  • I remember the Saucy Dragon arcade in downtown Duncan, which went on to be one of multiple arcades. In 1984, I even got my first job working at one. I eventually learned all the moves in the laser disc game Space Ace and could complete it on a single quarter. I believe all the arcades are gone now.
  • I’ve mentioned it before, but the stationery store, called The Letterbox, was a place I loved hanging out in. I was a writing nerd. I guess I still am. I’d buy fountain pens, refills, typewriter ribbons, art pencils and sketchpads there. And other stuff. It was my version of a candy store. It’s long gone. But there’s now a Staples.
  • Riding my bike without a helmet. No one wore helmets, it wasn’t even a point of discussion. I did fall a few times, but never cracked my skull open.
  • I got bit by every possible animal you can think of. I had probably 10x more tetanus shots than the average person.
  • The McDonald’s opening in August 1978 (yes, I remember) was a major event. The day before, a friend and I rode our bikes through the parking lot and counted the stalls. It was 70 or so, as I recall. A Filet-o-Fish sandwich, my favourite at the time, cost 65 cents. Previously, to eat at a McDonald’s, we had to have our parents drive us to Victoria or Nanaimo. In 1978, Duncan arrived. The McDonald’s, of course, is still there.
  • When I went to high school, literally just at the end of the street, I came home for lunch and got addicted to All My Children for a few years. Like the arcades, it, too, is gone.
  • More random things as I think of them.

My goals for (the rest of) 2025

I’m keeping things simple this year.

  • Stay out of the hospital. Like, don’t even go to the onsite Tim Horton’s to get some awful donut because I’m really hungry and kind of lazy.
  • Run regularly. No tripping.
  • Regarding running, it would be nice to at least occasionally get back to running 10Ks again.
  • Draw. Anything.
  • Write. I have some specific ideas here.
  • Get back to programming and designing.
  • Learn to manage my stress and anger, or stranger, as I call it. Or maybe angress. I have been trying, with mixed success.
  • Settle on a solution for my blog, whether it’s give up and stick with WP, or finally make the jump to something else.
  • Be kind to myself and be kind to others.
  • Read more.
  • Touch trees.
  • Win the lottery.

That’s good for now.

The song most stuck in my head in 2024 is from 1976

And that song is “The Things We Do For Love” by 10cc, released as a single late in 1976. It was a big hit in Canada, peaking at #1, and I clearly remember it all over the radio at the time (I was about 13 years old, so just developing my taste–or lack thereof–in music). I found the song to be catchy, but schmaltzy, and declared it worthy of being mocked. I mocked it, with my friends, because we were extremely cool kids in our own minds.

The song resurfaced for me when I watched a few pop songs on YouTube from the late 70s/early 80s, which told the YouTube algorithm that I wanted to watch these videos to the exclusion of everything else, thus my home page became clogged with almost nothing but. One of the songs clogging things up was “The Things We Do For Love” and it made me reassess this now 48-year-old song. And it’s still schmaltzy, and still catchy, but there is more to it, that almost indefinable something that makes it more than just a tidy pop song.

I’m not a music-titian, so I can’t use the proper terminology to describe the things, but as a layperson, it comes down to these:

  • The song starts with lush background vocals that serve as an intro, swelling to the “start” of the song. It’s a welcome variation from the usual verse/chorus structure.
  • Piano and guitar are both featured and used well.
  • The lyrics, given the song title, are not as banal and mindless as one might expect. They’re not deep, either, but at least they’re not cringe-inducing.
  • Did I mention the background vocals?
  • The whole production is very lush and layered for a pop song.

The only down note (ho ho) is the way it fades at the end, as was the style at the time. It’s not terrible, but it still makes me think, “They didn’t know how to end the song.”

And they actually made a video for it, which is positively quaint. The two main band members appear to have just walked off the street and picked up their instruments, which is a fair bit better than having them wear matching sequinned jumpsuits.

I can’t say the song has made me want to check out the entire 10ccc oeuvre, but I did listen to “Not in Love” later and almost a half century later, I finally learned this is the song featuring the repeated, whispered vocal “Big boys don’t cry, big boys don’t cry”, which my friends and I mercilessly mocked at the time. It still comes across as just kind of weird in 2024, but at least I now know where the weirdness originated.

Anyway, that’s my Song of the Year 2024. I know I’ve heard contemporary music, too, but can’t think of a single song that stuck with me.

Quotes that may not inspire you

It is always darkest before dawn. Unless you’re locked inside a broom closet.

A stitch in time will probably undo the fabric of reality

Every cloud has a tiny, angrier cloud inside it

Time heals all wounds, except shark scars because those are rad

When life gives you lemons, give life a kick in its lemon-soaked pants

I like Linux more than Windows*

*In some ways.

Here they are (a not exhaustive list):

  • Better font rendering. This surprised me, but fonts look fuller and sharper.
  • Faster. Everything feels snappier, especially ordinary OS things like opening/moving windows.
  • The file manager does not regularly crash. Or crash at all.
  • So much more customization for the UI.
  • The panel (taskbar) can go anywhere, like in Windows’ olden days.
  • App and OS updates are handled by a single manager, making it simpler and quicker than Windows. Also, I choose when to install them.
  • A better bunch of built-in apps.
  • A better Mastodon app (Tuba) than anything on Windows (though not quite as good as some available on Mac).
  • Desklets, applets and extensions add a ton of optional convenience features.

There are aspects that aren’t as polished as Windows, I haven’t replaced all equivalent apps yet, and gaming is still not quite there, but at this point, the downsides of running Linux (I am still using Mint) are considerably less than when I first started tinkering with it. This pleases me.

20 games that had an impact on me

This is borrowed from a thread on Mastodon in which the author posts a single game every day for 20 days, without explanation, that fit the criteria of “games that had an impact on me.”

I’m going to do my own variation here, listing out all 20 games, roughly in chronological order. Because I am olde, this also serves as a gaming history of sorts.

  1. Adventure (Atari 2600, 1980)
  2. Demon Attack (Atari 2600, 1982)
  3. Astrosmash (Intellivision, 1982)
  4. Miner 2049er (Atari 8-bit, 1982)
  5. Star Raiders (Atari 8-bit, 1982)
  6. Lode Runner (Commodore 64, 1984)
  7. Dungeon Master (Atari ST, 1987)
  8. SimCity (Amiga, 1989)
  9. Populous (Amiga, 1989)
  10. Betrayal at Krondor (PC, 1994)
  11. Myst (PC, 1994)
  12. Doom/Doom II (PC, 1993)
  13. Unreal (PC, 1998)
  14. Half-Life (PC, 1998)
  15. Star Wars: Jedi Knight (PC, 1997)
  16. Starsiege: Tribes (PC, 1999)
  17. Diablo 2 (PC, 1999)
  18. City of Heroes (PC, 2004)
  19. World of Warcraft (PC, 2004)
  20. PowerWash Simulator (PC, 2023)

Coming soon: I edit the list after remembering a bunch of games. Also, an explanation behind each game, in defiance of the Mastodon thread, because I make my own rules, baby.

Random things I enjoyed this past month, September 2024 edition

  • The song (and video) for “New Sensation” by INXS
  • A Coffee Crisp ice cream bar
  • Toast with strawberry jam, from a loaf of bread I’d just freshly baked
  • An elderberry-scented bubble bath
  • Using Linux Mint without any crashes or weirdness
  • Learning new keyboard shortcuts
  • Getting back into coding/programming (it still hurts my brain)
  • Drawing more
  • Writing more
  • S’mores1Not really
  • Rewatching Gravity Falls yet again
  • Running regularly without my legs falling apart
  • And other stuff

August of wind

It’s hard to come up with August-themed puns.

Here are a few reasons to like August:

  • In BC, the first Monday of the month (this year, it’s the 5th) is BC Day, a statutory holiday. Who doesn’t like stat holidays? I mean, other than retail workers, essential service workers and…probably a lot of other people, actually.
  • The day before BC Day is the Pride Parade in Vancouver. I’ve been multiple times and while I haven’t been in a while, it’s not because I don’t enjoy the parade, it’s more it’s too successful for its own good, drawing crowds up to 600,000 strong, which is close to the entire population of the city of Vancouver. Young guys in underwear are very popular. I’m not going to knock it, but I don’t want to be there when the parade ends and those 600,000 people need to leave. Also, the forecast is sunny and hot. This leads me to…
  • It’s still summer, if you like summer. I like summer. I like the longer nights, the warm days, the sun (not so much heat domes and the like). I like wearing shorts and not having to bundle up for my runs because it’s raining/snowing/hailing.
  • August has 31 days, so if you like it, there’s more of it.
  • If you go to school, it’s another month of school-free hanging out, relaxing and seeing the world, or some parts of it.
  • It’s also a popular vacation time, with the usually good weather.
  • If you’re into the PNE (Pacific National Exhibition), it starts in late August, and it lets city slickers see cows, pigs and, uh, probably farm equipment, up close and personal.
  • Probably other things I’ve missed and will secretly add to this list later.

Summer tips for summer fun

  • Move to Australia. It’s winter there! Just try to avoid the poison animals. So maybe don’t move there.
  • Dig a hole in your backyard that’s about 10 feet deep, where it’s always nice and cool. Convince Amazon to deliver your sunscreen there. I’m kidding, don’t use Amazon, they’re a terrible company.
  • Remember to stop activities before heatstroke, not after.
  • Sand is your friend. I mean, it’s not, but if you go to the beach, you’re going to have to pretend.
  • Notice how trees have all their leaves in the summer? Trees are your friends (unlike sand, which just gets in your shorts). Touch trees all summer, to keep in the shade and rekindle the primitive soul within. But mostly to keep out of the relentlessly cruel hot sun.
  • Remember how winter is six months of steady rain? It doesn’t matter that winter is only three months of the year, it’s still six months of rain. Think about how you are getting a nice sexy tan now instead of plodding through endless puddles from endless rain.
  • Heat domes are still rare! This is not a tip, but is helpful in managing expectations when people start going on about how it’s too hot. Manage those expectations! Everyone loves the, “Well, actually, it could be hotter…” guy! That guy could be you. Also works for all other genders. Note: Everyone may not actually love this person.
  • Do not listen to the 1992 album Summer in Paradise by The Beach Boys. Do you really want to hear Mike Love rap? (You do not.)

Random thoughts, June 25, 2024 edition

In random order, of course:

  • Only six months until Christmas!
  • R.E.M.’s song “I’ll Take the Rain” is lyrically bland and the music is a weird mix of synth strings and other stuff, yet I can’t bring myself to skip the song when it comes up on shuffle play.
  • I don’t remember the last time the grass was so green at the end of June.
  • I don’t trust authority. Neither should you.
  • Facebook, as bad as it was, is even more awful now. I don’t know how any reasonable person can use it, or would even want to use it. “Inertia is a hell of a drug” may not be catchy, but it might be accurate.
  • I am inordinately pleased any time I draw a long, curving line and nail it on the first try.
  • I wish I could swim better, but I seriously doubt I will ever try lessons again.
  • It delights me to see the EU and other countries kick giant tech companies in the junk.
  • Posting on any kind of social media is apparently something I just don’t care about anymore, even on sites that have no ads, no algorithm and you control the experience, like Mastodon.
  • I can never remember how to spell “algorithm”.
  • I should post more.
  • Cats are funny people.
  • It would be nice to spend one day in the pre-internet past, I think. Maybe two days. I like the internet, but, you know.
  • The AI hype bubble may burst before the end of the year.
  • Getting sick still sucks, but appreciating how great it feels to not be sick after is nice (but not worth getting sick in the first place).

Here’s a random GIF I found in my blog’s media library:

Inserting a USB cable