I have declared October another”post every day to the blog” month in an effort to keep my writing flowing in some shape or form. I will even endeavor to have something worth saying on most days. We’ll see how that goes come Halloween (which has been advertised for weeks already in stores, fighting for space with the “back to school” stuff).
General
The last day of summer
I like summer. It’s my favorite season for many reasons:
- it’s mostly sunny and warm
- men can walk around without their shirts on
- there are no stupid holidays for stores to promote (“back to school” doesn’t count)
- everything is green, growing and vibrant
- there’s a ton o’ outdoor events throughout the city
- even bad dates can at least include a nice walk
Today was the last day of summer. It was sunny and warm, as it has been nearly the entire summer. I shall miss these days as it cools, the leaves turn, the men put their shirts back on and the rain begins again in earnest.
Birthday #45!
I don’t complain about birthdays because not having one is much worse than having one. Today is my birthday.
I believe I am at the point now where it is recommend to represent the years on the cake via numbers than through actual candles, to reduce the risk of fire. I console myself by noting I’m in way better shape that when I was 25. Slightly more stylish, too.
I celebrated my birthday by going downtown at noon to the anti-HST rally at Canada Place. I’ll elaborate on that more in a separate post. For now, I will mark my past year on the planet with cake-eating pig. Hooray!
Buying toothpaste is now rocket science
Today while I was shopping, I went to grab the usual toothpaste I buy — Crest Complete (“Clean mint” gel flavor, since I prefer gel over paste) — but I couldn’t find it anywhere on the shelf. For a moment I thought it might have been discontinued in favor of splitting it into five more varieties. You see, while we once wanted toothpaste to simply remove plaque and keep our teeth clean, today a toothpaste is engineered more carefully than a NASA Mars probe, carefully designed to excel at a specific function (or two) and then marketed appropriately. What if you want a toothpaste to do more than those one or two specific functions? You could be like me and buy the “complete” version (hidden behind an employee stocking the shelf, as it turns out) or you could buy multiple pastes and turn your brushing routine into an elaborate ritual worthy of anthropological study.
It turns out Crest has 42 varieties of toothpaste. 42 varieties of toothpaste looks something like this:
Actually, that’s the U.S. site and even though it impressively lists 42 toothpastes, the type I buy is amazingly not among them. The Canadian site lists 45 varieties, including the one I use. 45! Madness! When aliens in the far-flung future examine the detritus of our dead civilization, they will puzzle and ponder over why we had five billion pastes to clean our teeth.
My new career(s)!
UPDATE, October 27, 2023: I thought it might be fun (?) to update on What Happened Next, as at the time I did this career-searching stuff, I was "between jobs." 2010: I got hired at Shaw, as a tech support person (not on the list, though #18 Computer Trainer could be a very loose fit). After six months, I was ready to look into joining the clergy. 2012: Langara College, working in...tech support! I stayed at this job until August 2021, almost nine years. By the end, I was looking at joining the clergy again. 2021-present: Working on my own as an indie game developer. I love it! I haven't released my first game yet, so I'm not exactly rolling in dough, or even Play-Doh, but if you mash together about six of the career suggestions below, and squint a lot, you might get something resembling programmer or developer. NOTE: While the Career Cruising link still works, it just redirects to their main page, not a career matchmaker or anything other than BUY OUR SERVICES, OK?
As part of a career exploration program, I recently checked out a site called Career Cruising. The Matchmaker section has you answer 39 questions and then spits out a list of 40 possible careers based on your answers. Here’s my full list:
- Acting Instructor
- Professor
- Clergy
- Bereavement Counsellor
- Addictions Counsellor
- Sport Psychology Consultant
- Developmental Service Worker
- Adult Education Teacher
- Art / Music Therapist
- Website Designer
- Foreign Language Instructor
- ESL Teacher
- Psychologist
- Actor
- Curriculum Specialist
- Desktop Publisher
- Cartoonist
- Computer Trainer
- Gerontologist
- Occupational Therapist
- Animator
- Director of Photography
- Multimedia Developer
- Director
- Social Worker
- Marriage and Family Therapist
- Abuse / Crisis Counsellor
- Religious Worker
- Community Worker
- Psychiatric Aide
- Recreation Therapist
- Set Designer
- Comedian
- Casting Director
- Costume Designer
- Music Teacher / Instructor
- Print Journalist
- Humanitarian Aid Worker
- Critic
- Musician
And here’s my take on the Top 10:
1. Acting Instructor Is this like being a drama teacher, except for adults? I could see myself doing this, as I actually studied acting when I first entered college. Whether I’d want to do it is another matter.
2. Professor A professor presumably needs a field of expertise. Would video games count as a subject matter? I was pretty good at Ms Pac-Man back in the day. Other than that, I got nothin’.
3. Clergy This one is perfect, assuming there is an untapped demand for agnostic gay priests.
4. Bereavement Counsellor For better or for worse, I am the type of person who employs sarcasm on a regular basis. I could be wrong, but I think sarcasm is not often used to comfort people grieving the loss of someone. “To be fair, most people never liked him, anyway, amirite?”
5. Addictions Counsellor See #4. “Man, I remember when I was drinking chocolate milk every day, I couldn’t stop, so I totally understand how it is with you and heroin.”
6. Sport Psychology Consultant I’m not even sure what this career would involve. Telling people to not worry about others laughing at them when they jog? Advising on cycling pants that make you look less fat? Sharing feel-good stories with amateur sports teams for a low, low fee?
7. Developmental Service Worker This is some kind of social worker. I could do this because I’m pretty patient listening to tales of woe. If I then had to do something about the woe, it could get tricky…
8. Adult Education Teacher I could teach newbies how to use a computer and navigate the Internet. If I could stop just one person from sending money to a prince in Nigeria, it would be worth it.
9. Art / Music Therapist This stuff is just weird. If I had to create my own art or music I’d probably end up filling mental hospitals as my skills are somewhat underdeveloped when it comes to drawing and playing an instrument. If I had to merely apply art or music to improve the mental or emotional health of people…the result would be the same, most likely.
10. Website Designer This one is plausible as I’ve built and maintained websites before, including several from scratch. Of course, that was mostly back when everything was HTML code written in Notepad and good design meant it didn’t induce seizures or cause your computer to spontaneously reboot, so I’d need to acquaint myself with more modern techniques and that would involve programming and that wouldn’t be pretty because my brain treats programming like a foreign language it doesn’t want to learn, ever.
Overall, a few possibilities and more than a fair share of “39 questions is obviously not enough”. There is an option to answer a total of 100+ questions, so if I run the Matchmaker again, I’ll highlight the new results here.
One of these things is not like the other, Part 1
The other day while jogging the song “All For Leyna” came up on my Sansa Clip and it took me back to when Billy Joel was lean, kind of angry and had hair. It is perhaps fitting but sad that he has become what he wrote about in “I’ve Loved These Days”, a song penned for 1976’s Turnstiles album and which his Wikipedia entry refers to as “a tongue-in-cheek expression of regret at leaving behind Hollywood’s decadence”:
We light our lamps for atmosphere,
And hang our hopes on chandeliers.
We’re going wrong, we’re gaining weight,
We’re sleeping long and far too late.
And so it’s time to change our ways …
But I’ve loved these days.
…
We drown our doubts in dry champagne,
And soothe our souls with fine cocaine.
I don’t know why I even care
We’ll get so high and get nowhere.
We’ll have to change our jaded ways
But I’ve loved these days.
None of which is directly related to the trivial thing I’m about to discuss, which is the incongruity seen in the video of Uptown Girl. The video, like the song and album it is from (An Innocent Man), is an homage to early 1960s pop. You can see this in evidence here with the old-fashioned neon sign:
And again here:
The mechanics, greasers and others all fit the theme, then about two-thirds of the way through the video you get this:
Two young guys robot dancing in belly shirts. This is the exact sort of thing the expression “WTF?” was invented for. The only thing I can think of is they were trying to compete somehow with Thriller, which was out around the same time. Still, it is a minor blemish on an otherwise fine video. Okay, one other blemish would be when Billy Joel tries to dance but you can forgive him for that because he did not wear a belly shirt.
Also, how did we grow used to watching small, artifact-riddled videos, anyway?
I am serious cat
My cat today. She really likes having her picture taken, it seems.
Fireworks (the manmade kind this time)
This past Wednesday I went to the fireworks and unlike the Saturday before there was no lightning storm competing against it in the night sky. There’s not much to report as everything pretty much went off just as it should. I met up with Nic and we parked ourselves on the path at Sunset Beach, a little ways east of the Inukshuk. We each indulged in some pricey ice cream bars at the concession stand ($4.50 for an almond-chocolate) but when it’s still that flippin’ hot at 9:30 p.m. it doesn’t bother you so much. Nic brought along his tripod and took plenty o’ pictures with his digital camera, a piece of hardware that makes my pocket camera feel inadequate and ashamed by comparison.
The show was quite good and at times spectacular, the only negative being that we had to stand for the half hour and partway through my 25-minute jog from a few hours earlier caught up with me and I really wanted to get off my feet.
I figured I’d beat the crowd after the fireworks by walking down and grabbing the #19 bus instead of the #22. Although it was 11:45 when I got home (the fireworks ended at 10:30) and the bus was crowded the whole way, I think I made the right call as I never even saw a #22 running. Yeesh.
Wetworks or Celebration of Light(ning)
I decided it would be fun to go watch the fireworks tonight. I haven’t seen them for many years as I no longer live conveniently close to any good spots to watch from (Burnaby Street was especially good. Walk two blocks, park your butt and you’re set). I arranged to meet a friend who conveniently does still live downtown. I knew it would be crowded and all but hey, that’s part of the magic. Or something.
A few hours before I leave I notice clouds rolling in. It has been rather warm lately and to me it looks like we may be in for a thundershower. Sure enough I hear ominous rumblings pass through the clouds and lightning flashes across them. These types of summer storms usually pass through quickly, so I don’t think it will be a problem. By the time I am waiting for the bus it has tapered off to a slight drizzle. The sunset is freaking spectacular.
Ah, the bus. It is already crowded so the weather has not dampened the enthusiasm of the general public, it seems. Shortly after I get on a fellow who has perhaps had an alcoholic beverage or three parks himself in front of me (I am in a sideways seat) so as to allow me to take in his musky aroma. When the bus arrives at Pender and Hamilton a curious thing happens. The driver kills the engine and the lights. Sitting in a dark crowded bus is not the sort of intimate evening I prefer. A passenger loudly wonders what is going on and relays after a few minutes the message that the bus has broken down and is awaiting a mechanic. Hooray. I start hoofing it to my rendezvous point which is, as they say, over yonder. As I step out of the bus I note that the drizzle has changed to a downpour. That “quick” storm is still putting on its own impressive fireworks show.
As I walk up Pender I spy the guy who smelled a bit ripe. He is nonchalantly tagging a seniors facility with a large black marker. I always wondered who did this sort of thing. Now I know: drunk guys who need to shave and lose 40 pounds. I continue walking through downtown in an increasingly large sea of people. I observe no small amount of drunken behavior but little that could be deemed licentious. When I finally arrive at my destination I am completely drenched. I go to the wrong floor of the apartment building. I then discover that I haven’t been hearing my (new) cell phone ring and have missed every message, including one canceling going to the fireworks. That’s okay with me, really. I head back to the bus. It is still pouring.
As I walk the block up to my place I hear booms across the sky and this time it’s not Mother Nature but uh, Father Fireworks. I don’t care. I just want to be dry again. We try again Wednesday.
UPDATE: The Weather Network has a few shots of the sunset taken by locals. They are not very high quality but do give some sense of how vivid the color was. The shot below is of Coal Harbour, with Stanley Park in the background.
When We Was Fat
This picture is from December 1999 or thereabouts, one of only a handful taken of me while I worked at the computer department of London Drugs. It was the last time I worked in retail. It will remain the last time I work in retail. I do not like retail. Don’t let the grin fool you. Pokemon just does that to you.
The two notable things here are:
1. No gray hair.
2. Fat. Do you think that shirt I’m wearing is kind of baggy? It’s not, really. I just had it mostly untucked to cover up the fact that my midsection looked like I had ingested a tire intact.
Here’s the full uncropped version of the same photo (click to enlarge). You can see the festive holiday decorations (a single red bow) and Viewsonic 17 inch monitors were going for less than $600. Such a deal. One day I’ll write about how I was forced to quit my job there and less than a week later three people in the department got fired. Good times all around!
How to read this blog, Part 3
How to Read This Blog, Part 3
by Creole Ned
I’ve made a few tweaks to make it easier for people to comment on my ramblings. First, you no longer need to have me approve your first post but you do need to verify your account through an e-mail check. I’ve also included the option to upload a custom avatar although at the moment they seem to be defaulting to a bit tinier than I’d like. Finally, the Site Admin link has been renamed to Site login to better reflect that it’s where you any reader/user can login to adjust their profile settings or add an avatar.
Enjoy!
How to read this blog, Part 2
How to Read This Blog, Part 2
by Creole Ned
In which I explain the various links for those who are averse to clicking.
Bloggy Friends
Paladin’s Playroom Paladin has been part of my gaming group the Martian Cartel for many years. He blogs occasionally, one of those “when the whim strikes” kind of guys.
Sam-K.net The blog of Samuel Kimpton, man of the Internet! Sam is also part of the Martian Cartel and writes occasionally, focused on things of geek interest and the travails of home ownership. Sam is also a gadget kinda guy. I suspect one day he will build a really smart robot that will lead us to SkyNET.
scatterdad Tim Everett’s blog, since superseded by his addiction to Facebook. Tim owns the house I live in and has many cogent, witty and at times caustic observations. His blog is rarely updated as of late.
Other stuff
Broken Toys Scott Jennings has written about MMORPGs for many years (originally as “Lum the Mad”) and has worked in the industry at Mythic, NCsoft and other companies. His insights are often thought-provoking and amusing if you enjoy the meta discussion about gaming.
Martian Cartel forums The forums for the gaming group I became erstwhile leader of back in its founding year of 1999. We chat about more than just games now but the group has been on the decline for a few years and activity has waned.
My Facebook page Like this blog but with fewer words.