Dear Logitech,
Your promotional Flash site for the new G-series line of products looks very snazzy. However…
I do not think you mean what you say…
Admittedly, I’m old enough that I’m not up on all the cool kid lingo anymore, so it is perhaps possible that you really are comparing the speed of the G9x mouse to the descent of a uterus.
Meanwhile, I irrationally crave the G19 keyboard even though it will be ludicrously expensive. So pretty, so very very pretty.
See title.
What’s even better is having a co-worker coughing and wheezing and complaining for days about being sick just before you get sick (by amazing coincidence).
Also, it got up to 12 degrees today. No snow! Yay!
As mentioned in the previous entry, I bought a pair of Shure SE110 earphones. The one local dealer that had them in stock was the Apple store downtown. I had never been in there before so I went in as an Apple store virgin. This was akin to entering a cult compound as a curious and lost waif, seeking knowledge and wisdom.
The store is an open air design, with various bits of Apple hardware lining counters on the left and right for a little hands-on lovin’ and islands in the middle sporting more hardware. It is very bright, white and clean-looking, almost antiseptic if not for the light-colored birch (my guess) that lines the counter tops. At the far end of the store is the sales counter where the POS system consists of Mac notebooks mounted on swivel stands. Behind this counter are two large LCD screens displaying things like a glossary of technical terms or a list of people with appointments for the day.
I head about halfway down and find the racks with iPod accessories. I pull down the box of Shure earphones and look it over. So far no one has approached me, but it’s the weekend and the store is pretty crowded, so the sales reps may all be occupied. Good.
I take the earphones to the sales counter. There is a vague kind of line-up here, further underscoring my belief that over the decades Canadians have lost the ability to form a line. A woman comes up to me and asks how will I be paying. She has a big smile and even bigger saucer-like eyes. Her hair is straight and long. She looks a bit like someone from a love cult circa 1973. I tell her I am paying by debit and she smiles some more and nods and tells me someone will be helping me soon. Okay. Thanks, I guess. I continue to wait. The line is a bit slow. Maybe the POS Mac notebooks need more ram. Finally I get to the young man who scans in my purchase. The process of doing this, getting the receipt, the bag and combining these things into something I can carry out is deliberate and studied, as if a sacred ritual is being performed. The Apple bag has a drawstring on it instead of handles cut into the plastic. I feel like I am being handed a bag filled with secret runes, that I am about to begin a journey of discovery to unlock the mysteries therein. Then I get the bag and get the hell out, skirting past the greeter as she nods and smiles at someone coming in.
I can’t say the experience was unpleasant but it was a little creepy. Apple doesn’t get buyers, they get converts.
I recently decided to upgrade the earphones I use on my iPod. I’d been using an inexpensive pair of JVC earphones after the Apple-supplied ones went on the fritz and they have been serviceable, but I’ve never liked the fit that much and as a consequence I play music at a higher volume due to a lot of the audio bleeding out of the earphones. Fearing a Pete Townsend-like future where I had to crank everything to 11 just to get good volume and making myself deaf in the process, I reckoned that sound-isolating earphones might be the answer.
After some research, I opted for the Shure SE110 earphones. They are described thusly on the product website: “Featuring Balanced MicroSpeakers, these sound isolating earphones deliver optimized audio for a rich, lifelike listening experience. Assorted sleeves and a modular cable provide unmatched comfort and customization.” Sounds good! (ho ho)
My first moment of doubt comes when I observe that the earphone “nozzle” is angled, suggesting that it is meant to be inserted in a specific manner. That strikes me as a bit fiddly for something I just want to slap on. Then I see an illustration of “recommended use” and gape at this composite man wearing the earphones in a way I never have, the cables draped behind the ears. This is the preferred way, Shure says, to keep the cable secure and provide better isolation.
Okay, I am amenable to changing my ways, so I give it a shot. I don’t know if I have defective ears or simply lack coordination but I cannot keep the cable draped over my ear. It keeps sliding off and around and instead of getting a better fit or isolation, I look like I’m having an epileptic fit trying to keep the damn thing hooked over my ear. And I don’t exactly have petite ears, you know?
Since the user guide grudgingly acknowledges that the earphones can be worn the way normal humans prefer, I try that and can at least get them into my ears. Next I discover the cable is way too short. It would work if I duct-taped the iPod to one of my cheeks (the ones on my face, perv) or maybe held it in front of my nose while listening. Shure has covered this, though, and includes an extension cord that extends the length of the cable. All right, I am almost ready to listen to music!
My final step is to find the best fit with the supplied sound-isolating sleeves. There are two varieties, pliable plastic and foam and each comes in three sizes. The phones have the medium foam sleeves on and I try them but the fit is non-optimal, so I switch to the larger plastic sleeves. Initially the fit seems good so I leave them on and come the weekend, I go to take the bus downtown and whilst waiting, don my new supersonic, form-fitting earphones. And I can’t keep the damn things in my ears. The right one in particular seems to pop out at the slightest movement. They might stay in if my jaw was wired shut. The iPod teases me briefly with excellent sound-isolated music and I note that I can indeed keep the volume much lower. But alas, this is not meant to be. I trudge back home and grab the JVCs, vowing to spend more time with the sleeves later.
Maybe it’s like getting a new pair of shoes. It takes a bit to wear them in, to get comfortable. Maybe I have goofy ears. I’ll try the smaller sleeves or the foam or scotch tape or something. I’m not taking them back, though. I bought them at the Apple store downtown and that place was downright creepy. I’m not stepping foot in there again if I can help it.
I have written before about my battles with Mavis Beacon on the Martian Cartel forum. Mavis is the composite identity used as the face of a typing program published by Broderbund. I regard her as an arch-nemesis.
A few months ago I picked up the current version of Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing — the third time I’ve bought the insidious program. I was sure this time would be different. This time she wouldn’t crush my dreams like a sparrow in the hand of a hill giant. This time I would progress beyond my usual three-fingers-is-plenty typing style.
She looks so friendly and helpful on the cover. She wouldn’t be mean this time.
The first thing you do in the program is create a profile. Then you get presented with the screen below. Why is Mavis talking about herself in the third person? Does she think she is royalty? Has she gone mad? She won’t say, so I just start a-typin’.
As expected, my speed puts me in the “special needs” category. I’m staying positive, though! Mostly I stay positive by closing the program at this point. I’ll have further results Soon®!
So yeah, the weather forecast for January 18th turned out to be pretty much bang-on. Time to move on to a new crackpot theory.
As of right now, this is the forecast for Sunday, January 18th (tomorrow):
As you can see, it is only slightly different than before. “Mainly sunny” instead of “sunny”, a high of 6 instead of 8. But you watch, overnight, the forecast will change to “blizzard with angry polar bears”.
Flashpoint is a CTV-produced police drama starring Hugh Dillon, former lead singer of The Headstones. Hugh Dillon is a great name. It oozes macho. Really, if that wasn’t his actual name I’m pretty sure the producers of the show would have had him change it to that. Here’s Hugh in a promo shot for the show:
“Look serious. No, more serious. More. Turn it up about 20 notches. No, 100 notches. There’s this guy and he’s hurting kittens. A terrorist hurting kittens. And grannies. The grannies are saving the kittens from a fire. Serious, come on. More serious. MORE. You are grim and determined. You have steely eyes. Seriously steely-eyes and the musky stench of determined grimness. Very very serious. You are a man. A serious man. You have a gun. You have no hair because men don’t need hair. Hair is not serious but good god man, YOU ARE SERIOUS. And…that’s a wrap. Brie with bagels for lunch, let’s go!”
There is a glitch with the code for the otherwise spiffy Techmania theme I am using for this blog. It manifests itself as a duplicate arrow on the headlines for each post. It looks like this:
Curiously, the glitch shows in Firefox 3 and Google Chrome but not in Internet Explorer 7. I have looked over the code but have been unable to figure out what is causing this. After three weeks and no response at the forum that hosts this (and other) themes, I am putting it out here in the billion to one chance some CSS expert sees this and has solution.
Also, I’m officially requesting a pony here, too.
When I operated the Locarno Beach concession back in 1996-98 I checked weather updates with a near-relifgious fervor as business rested entirely on the weather being sunny and pleasant. Today, thanks to the vast richness that is the world wide web, I can check weather forecasts 24 hours a day. For example, there is The Weather Network (that should show the forecast for Vancouver). The Weather Network is about as accurate as one might expect.
Or is it? <ominous piano chord>
I have noticed of late a typical pattern. The last day of the forecast is always really nice. Then when that day actually arrives, it’s snowing or flooding or something. I’m thinking they have some standing order to make the end of the forecast look nice to fill people with hope and to have them keep coming back to see if it’s changed. When that day actually arrives it is, of course, snowing or flooding. I’m going to test this crackpot theory by linking a copy of their little graphic for the last day of the forecast then following up with updated images as we get closer to the actual date in question — January 18th. As you can see, there is no snow or flooding predicted:
The 0% is the chance for precipitation. The 18th is six days hence. How wrong could they end up being in just six little days? Let’s find out!
Snowing in Horseshoe Bay. Damn snow.
I made it over to the island for a late Christmas the weekend after New Year’s. The reason for the delay, of course, was the weather. If someone had told me back in the fall I wouldn’t be able to ride my bike to work for nearly a month due to snow I would have chuckled quietly and called them insane. Today I would call them Kreskin.
I get up on the morning of Saturday January 3rd and look out the window. It’s snowing. Again.
Undeterred, I head out and once downtown I catch the #153 bus to Horseshoe Bay. It is snowing harder in West Vancouver, nestled as it is at the base of the North Shore mountains. The bus driver advises the passengers that all West Van buses are on “snow routes” without explaining precisely what that means. Someone on the dispatch also relays this information. We eventually learn it means all buses are sticking to the lower roads and avoiding the upper levels highway until the plows get through.
We get to the terminal safe and sound thanks to the driver not being a maniac behind the wheel. The ticket booth at Horseshoe Bay is covered but outdoors. It is a bit chilly but the line-up is not too long as I am early. Unfortunately the line-up does not move. At all. A woman up at the wicket is having a problem of some sort. I am too far away to catch any of the conversation so I wait and watch the snow piling up. The line continues to not move. Minutes go by. Then more minutes. The cashier is on the phone now. I gnash my teeth. The woman holding up the line has a dog. It’s a cute dog but if it’s the reason I’m standing here freezing my skinny butt off then screw you, cute dog!
After about ten minutes (which feels like 20 once you add wind chill) I buy my ticket and am astonished that the price is something like five dollars cheaper than it was in October. I take a whiff and sure enough, there is the unmistakable smell of pre-election on the ticket stub. Thanks, Gordon!
Today I went looking for swimming trunks again. At Sport Check the answer was basically, “We don’t carry swimwear in the middle of winter” which would make sense if one assumes people in Vancouver never:
a) swim indoors
b) travel to other climes where swimming in the winter is not just possible, but done regularly and with great pleasure
I decided to check The Bay and after a helpful clerk pointed me to their selection, I discovered once again that nearly every pair of swimming trunks they had were for sizes XXL to XXXXXL. Really, I must assume that fat* people simply do not swim. I managed to find a medium pair of trunks and gambled that they would fit well enough to not come off and cause an embarrassing pool incident. The helpful clerk lauded me for taking up a good cardiovascular workout such as swimming, confessing that he did not swim particularly well himself. Then he cheerfully advised me to not drown.
I picked up the Mom Laptop™ from the Puralator store today. It’s a Dell Inspiron and seems pretty nice — 15.4″ widescreen display, fast Core 2 Duo processsor. It also came bundled with a 30-day trial of McAfee and the Google Desktop, already installed. I removed the McAfee stuff and substituted AVG for anti-virus protection, loaded up and made Firefox the default browser, grabbed the nearly 50 MB of Windows updates, deleted the Google desktop and got the line of icons in the bottom right corner of the screen down to a half-mile in length. I’ll be setting up the wireless connection tomorrow and exposing mom to the wilds of the Internet. I’m undecided on whether I am to be commended or condemned for this.
* if you find the term “fat” demeaning or offensive, please substitute the phrase “dimensionally enhanced”