1971: The Year of the Stare

I have nearly all of my class photos, which in a way is kind of amazing. I’m scanning them in over time and the one below will eventually get added to the proper photo gallery with the rest. For now, here’s a look at my grade 2 class photo or “What I looked like 39 years ago”. Yikes! I am the last one on the right in the middle row, wearing a fashionably striped shirt. Our teacher was Mrs. Buckingham and we sometimes (out on the playground, never in class) called her Buckingham cigarettes because it was a popular brand at the time. How did a bunch of seven year old kids know about brands of cigarettes? Advertising! It amazes me how many of my elementary school teachers look exactly like the classic school marm stereotype. She was a pretty good lady, though. The kid with the ears two over from my right was not only the only kid in class who could always color inside the lines, he was freakishly good at drawing in general. It was because of him that I learned early on in life that there’s always someone who can do something better than you. I wonder if he kept pursuing art.

(click to see full-size)

On the right, middle row, glassy-eyed

Here’s a close-up:

Sail away

Stylin’ spectacles and a blank stare that suggests no current brain activity. I later became famously concerned that my ears stuck out too much. This becomes evident based on the hair “styles” I adopted in my senior school years. You’ll also understand why I put that word in quotes, too.

Dear Tiger: Shut up (also, today’s run)

Today was my first run in a week and I was a bit worried because I could feel The Spot in my leg even as I walked down to the park.

15ºC, cloudy and a moderate wind blowing. The trail was in good shape, only one other jogger briefly sharing the path with me.

By about the 3 km point I could definitely feel the sore spot in my left leg acting up. I even briefly felt a bolt of pain race up from The Spot to about my knee, possibly by landing on it just right (or wrong). That’s the bad news. The good news is it didn’t bother me enough to hamper my run significantly but I still chose to err on the side of caution and end it at 5k instead of doing a full 10. I’ll try for 10 again on Monday. The other good news(ish) part is the leg doesn’t feel nearly as bad after the run as it did last Friday. I’d probably be fine without icing it, though I’m going to do that, anyway. So I am moderately encouraged overall. Oh, and my times were much better this Friday than last, with my average pace a full six seconds better (5:16 vs. 5:22).

And the title of this post is not a plea for Tiger to not go on Oprah and blubber out another sincere apology for ‘indiscretions’ but rather for him to stop piping in on the iPod at the end of my runs. Today — for the third time in about as many weeks — he came on to congratulate me for running another 250 miles. First, I’m tracking my distance in km, not miles, you backwards silly American and second, running 750 miles would be really impressive. Superhuman, even (I’ve run a little over 450 km).

Results:

Distance: 5.03 km
Overall average pace: 5:16
1st km: 5:03
2nd km: 5:06
3rd km: 5:09
4th km: 5:12
5th km: 5:16

The No run

Today I was planning on resuming my running and in fact after extensive poking and prodding of the sore part of my leg I could no longer feel any pain. However, I’ve decided to be more cautious this time and will wait till Friday instead. That will put me a week between runs, which shouldn’t make it too hard to get back into the routine again. I’m hoping I’ll finally be able to put all this nonsense behind me and just focus on the actual running part.

Now on dailymile (or daily1.6km if you prefer)

Using the buddy system for encouragement and support, I am now on dailymile and have made friends with a couple of Quarter to Three regulars, Jamie Madigan and Ephraim. It is not without irony that I note that now that I have an ‘audience’ I have been running piddly short runs and skipping days because of a tender shin.

I am hoping to get back into a regular routine of 10ks starting tomorrow (Wednesday).

Angry Carrot in 3D (special glasses not required)

Do you ever get the urge to go back and finish some project you started years ago? I do from time to time but the reality is even if I decide to, I rarely complete a once-abandoned project, probably because I had a good reason for abandoning it.

A few years ago I began making a model of my cartoon character Angry Carrot out of plasticine. I only had green and orange plasticine, so I couldn’t do the black bits (face, arms, legs). Instead of going to a store to get the missing black, I just put what I had started in a cupboard and let it sit there for a couple of years.

Today I suddenly got it into my head to check the art supply store DeSerres while I was out. I figure if any place would have black plasticine, it would be an art store.

And lo, they did!

It was a brand they are not carrying anymore, so it was on clearance for, as you can see, $1.95. The clerk told me there would be no refunds or exchanges because of this. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s modeling clay and it’s less than two dollars. Who would bring it back for a refund? Someone who thought it was licorice?” I then realized this is exactly what would happen, so I simply smiled politely at the clerk.

For reference, here is a panel from an Angry Carrot comic:

I realized a couple of things as I slapped on Angry Carrot’s limbs:

  1. He would fall down and not get up in real life. If real life featured man-sized sentient carrots with anger management issues, that is. As it was I had to insert a bit from a screwdriver and lean him against a wall to keep him from tipping over.
  2. I need a better workspace than the tiny spot I can clear next to my keyboard.
  3. I need better tools for the actual sculpting.
  4. I need better lighting.
  5. I need more practice! He’s not the right shape and his stalk is too small.

Still, for a ‘proof of concept’ it’s not too bad. It is recognizably Angry Carrot.

Close-up:

Scary perspective shot from below!

And one more from above:

It was fun exercising my fingers without using a keyboard for a change. I’ll probably start another model of Angry Carrot from scratch with some sculpting tools and a better workspace and see how that goes. My ultimate plan would be to use actual modeling clay, probably the self-drying kind as I don’t have a kiln handy.

Ol’ four eyes

With the prescription for my glasses recently updated I have started perusing various optical shops, casting about for a new look for the eventuality of getting new frames. Today I visited the optical department of Sears as I was passing through Pacific Centre. These are about the boldest pair I tried on and apart from being too big for my narrow face, I rather like the way they look. They’re a fair bit different than what I have now and I’m kind of in the mood for different.

Smoke run

Cloudy skies, 13ºC and little wind on today’s run.

I knew I was in trouble when I could feel my left leg acting up on the brisk walk down to the park. Although the soreness seemed manageable by the time I got to the 5 km mark, I decided to cut the run short to be on the safe side.

Perhaps fearing rain, the park was nearly devoid of people. I had the trail entirely to myself for the first 3 km. Other than the leg, I again felt fine. I iced it for a good long while after getting home (ironically reading Runner’s World as I did so) and while it remains sore I can’t say it actually is painful, more annoying. Nonetheless I am taking the weekend off and will see how it feels on Monday. I made need to give it more time to fully recover.

While the park did not smell of manure today, there was the distinct scent of a wood fire drifting through one area. I’m not sure why someone would light a fire on such a mild day but as I’m fond of saying, people are weird.

Results:

Distance: 5.04 km
Overall average pace: 5:22
1st km: 5:12 (another tentative start)
2nd km: 5:15
3rd km: 5:17
4th km: 5:19
5th km: 5:22

The one positive I take away is that my pace was fairly consistent, so I don’t think I’m running on an actual injury. But I’ll be cautious for now.

The manure run

It was cloudy, 10ºC and a light but cool breeze blowing for today’s run.

I began tentatively again, though my first km time was surprisingly decent. After the first few km the tender spot on my left leg began to flare up but it never became painful, just sore. By the midway point I had adjusted to it and the back half of my run was very consistent. Without the leg bothering me I’m sure I could have knocked at least five seconds off my average pace. As it was, 5:30/km is still 4 seconds faster than my first post-injury 10k, so I’m pleased with that.

After the run, I did the usual stretching and had my protein drink, then slapped an ice pack on the leg for half an hour or so. It makes a difference!

The manure part was the distinct aroma pretty much throughout the park. I never did find the source of the stink and it was a tad distracting until I hit the runner’s high and suddenly it didn’t matter anymore. Speaking of which, my stamina was fine for the whole run, which was also nice.

Results:

Total distance: 10.02 km (previous: 10.02 km)
Average time/km: 5:30/km (previous: 5:30/km)
Best time/km: 5:04/km (previous: 5:10/km)

Am I a scanner?

An acquaintance recently suggested a book to me that I am reading now called Refuse to Choose, written by Barbara Sher, a career counselor. As the Amazon description says, “Sher identifies someone she calls The Scanner who frequently has a multiplicity of interests, but finds it hard to create a successful life he or she loves because their passions and abilities are taking them in so many different directions.”

As I read the introductory chapters I admit to feeling a bit of recognition in the descriptions of these so-called “scanners”. If I tried to pursue everything I took an interest in I’d end up barely touching on most of them. In the past year or so I’ve taken swimming lessons, started teaching myself C#, begun learning to touch-type (again), written a novel, gone on about a million dates, bought a new sketchbook with a bunch of pens and pencils, and a new graphics tablet for drawing and probably a bunch of other things I’m forgetting. All of this on top of a job search since being laid off, and even that has taken a twist or two as I re-evaluate what truly interests me as far as work goes.

I’m definitely interested in seeing what the book offers beyond “you’re not a freak for having so many interests”. I feel I’m at a bit of a crossroads right now, so the timing is especially appropriate.

The Truth about the HOMOSEXUALS

(This is reposted from a thread I created on Quarter to Three’s forum)

Shortly after wrapping up my job at Expo 86, which is what brought me to Vancouver, I began my second job, this time at McDonald’s. It was about as exciting and enriching as you might think. I didn’t actually cook much, I was mainly the lobby guy — the person who goes around cleaning all the tables, mopping up spills and taking out the trash. As part of my duties I had to check the washrooms and occasionally people would leave literature on the counter offering the promise of a better life, a low mortgage or why are you a stinking drunk, anyway?

One of the pamphlets I found was called The Truth About the HOMOSEXUALS. The copyright date on its inside cover is from 1978, so this was written in the era of Harvey Milk and before AIDS was known. For a long time I could not find the pamphlet and had resigned myself to having lost it and the treasured wisdom contained therein. But lo, I re-discovered it while looking for something else.

Here’s the cover. 20th Century Sodomites!

The opening pages:

I’ve scanned in the first few pages:

The Truth About the HOMOSEXUALS

“And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord. .he took away the sodomites out of the land.”-I Kings 15:11,12.

“The same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.”-Luke 17: 29,30.

Hairy-chested males in frilly dresses and blonde wigs, their faces adorned with make-up, as they ride tricycles in public and dance with other perverts in San Francisco discos. Can you imagine that in a civilized society? Or the picture in the same magazine of young boys on leashes like dogs, soliciting as male prostitutes? They are called “gay slaves”! It is happening today!

Asa was obeying God when he took  away the Sodomites out of the land. The people today who stand up for the (so-called “gay”) Sodomites have missed the whole point.

The homosexual battle is not with the “bigoted fundamentalists” as they call us, but with the Great God of the universe and His holy Word.

Critics say, “They quote from First Corinthians and Leviticus,” as if that were all there was to it. Other “gay” adherents say that anti-Sodomite Scripture is to be found only in the Old Testament and that it means nothing today.

The liberal media, as usual, has grabbed on to a news-maker. They are always anxious to get a juicy tidbit that is scandalous and sensational. And they smack their lips with even keener delight when it lends itself to the opportunity to scorn the hated “fundamentalist.” It has become great fun to ignore or misquote God’s Word while vilifying those who dare to stand for what decent, God-fearing Americans have always believed in.

The very fact that we suddenly have a flood tide of abnormality sweeping in upon us in an open movement of homosexuals clamoring for attention and approval, proves the accuracy of the very Bible they seek to refute.

Decent, Civilized People Have
Always Been Against This
Monstrous Perversion

Why have we had Sodomy laws on the books of our states for so many years? Why have homosexual marriages been taboo? Why have normal people of all faiths (or of no faith) always felt revul¬sion by such activity? Why have people of culture and modesty not even wanted to discuss such a subject? Because homosexuality is totally unnatural and abnormal, and our nation was founded upon Christian decency and a high regard for God and His Word.

A Gallup poll states that a great majority of Americans are convinced that homosexuality is more prevalent today than twenty-five years ago. Letters quoted in popular and liberal news magazines are almost all pro-homo¬sexual, which means that either decent Americans are too disgusted with the whole filthy business to want to discuss it, or the magazines are purposely picking the twisted paragraphs from the pro¬-gays to further their cause.

The phenomenum is not entirely new, of course. There have always been some perverted people around. Otherwise, there would have been no need for God to warn us about it in His Word, and no need to list it with other sins from which God can save a man (I Cor. 6:9).

Charles Goetz, a freelance writer and actor, writing in the Cincinnati Enquirer magazine, while reminding us that Henry VIII’s England decreed homosexuality a capital crime, states that if they think they have trouble with Anita Bryant today, they don’t know what trouble is. They’re lucky they’re not living in ancient Persia. Under Zoroastrian law anyone working with an ax and coming upon a couple engaged in an “unnatural art” was obliged either to behead the riders or to rip them open.

Hindus and Mohammedans also took a dim view of homosexuality, although their punishments were not as severe as the Persians. Many classical Greeks were somewhat notorious for their homosexual life styles, believing that the unnatural act was something of a prelude to a natural sex life later on.

Goetz quotes doctors who say that homosexuality is usually more prevalent among males than females, and that “gay” pairs “most frequently consist of a young male and a somewhat older partner.”

Our Permissive Society Lets
Crime Go Unpunished, So
It Becomes More Bold

Terrifying telecasts on the evening news recently revealed that hordes of young boys are working as boy prostitutes in California cities. One San Francisco man was jailed after being charged with sexual involvement with boys as young as seven years of age in male prostitution and pornography. The charges included pimping, pandering, contributing to the delinquency of minors and molesting young boys.

A Farmington, Michigan Catholic priest was arrested on charges of second-degree criminal sexual conduct involving a fourteen-year-old boy. At the same time Oakland, California, police were investigating the kidnap murders of four young Oakland County boys who had been sexually molested.

After the defeat of the Gay-Rights ordinance in Miami, Sodomites danced in the streets and declared that they will come back stronger than ever, even singing the Civil Rights hymn, “We Shall Overcome.” My brother, Pastor Norman Pyle, in declaring that they have almost destroyed a good word, “gay,” suggests that we go back to calling them “queers.” When I was a boy, any men who were “effeminate” or who engaged in unnatural sexual activities were labeled either “queers,” “fairies” or “pansies.”

One of them smashed a cream pie in the face of Anita Bryant in a midwestern city. She continues to be threatened and harrassed, and had to cancel a news conference in New York as thousands of perverts (or “gay” sympathizers) picketed the NBC Today Show.

Johnny Carson and other entertainers take delight in ridiculing Anita Bryant and others who stand for normal deceny. After a pointed effort to embarrass and defeat Anita on the Phil Donahue show, she won the battle by boldly reading Romans 1:21-28 from the Bible as millions watched and cheered her on. Donahue couldn’t wait to conclude the program!

The booklet appears to still be available in its unaltered 1978 form, serving as a kind of historical text documenting what might be described as a colorful point of view.

This has always provided me with excellent entertainment value, the kind of thing that is nearly impossible to parody. According to Amazon there is a revised August 2000 edition. Perhaps it has a bonus section on the joy of conversion therapy.

Dating: the follow-up

It’s been a year since my last (and only) post on dating, so I figured it was time for a follow-up. Here it is:

I have stopped dating.

Over the past year I’ve met a lot of interesting people, had some fun, had some not-so-much-fun and learned a lot about social interaction, myself, others, and how likely someone is to show up with bad breath. I may write a book on my experiences.

But for now, I am taking a break from the dating game to recharge and take stock.

Admittedly, this is not much of an update, so I now present pig eating cake: