I like lists

Things I like about March: a list

  • warmer than February
  • chance of snow is less likely
  • statutory holiday thanks to Easter scratch that, Easter is on April 16 this year
  • one month closer to summer
  • still too early for stores to start Christmas promotions
  • rhymes with smarch

Random thoughts for February 27, 2017

  • it snowed today. Boo. But by afternoon it was sunny and the snow was gone. Yay.
  • I had a terrible headache last night in bed (no, a real headache). Boo. I took Advil and it actually worked. Yay.
  • I continue to acquire more old music than new, though I’m at least grabbing albums I didn’t own back in the 80s and 90s. Recent purchases range from au fromage to well-regarded classics:
    • Billy Joel, The Bridge – the beginning of the slide down for Joel creatively, though not his nadir
    • Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Welcome to the Pleasuredome – cheesy, with weird wide-ranging covers but there’s no denying the irresistible pulse of “Relax” and Holly Johnson lifts every song with his enthusiastic vocals
    • Crowded House (debut) – pretty pop with just enough smarts to make it more than just pretty pop
    • Neil Young, Harvest Moon – a gentle, sweet album
  • I tried and failed to think of any frog-related puns today (there was a reason for this–the puns, not the failure, which was simply lack of imagination on my part)
  • The Tim Hortons “Roll up to win” contest is on and I’ve won four times. I gave away my two donut wins but kept the coffees (which I will use for tea)
  • less than two weeks until Daylight Saving Time returns. Yay.
  • my weight loss for the month will probably be minimal at best and negative at worst. Whoops. But my body fat percentage is down. Yay.
  • I’m still a bit sore from my outdoor run two days ago. This is mildly embarrassing.

January 2017 list: A bad month for jogging and humanity

Here’s an incomplete list of things that sucked in January 2017:

  • snow on New Year’s Eve that added to existing snow and has persisted through the entire month on the trails where I run, making jogging possible only if I include slipping, falling and fracturing bones
  • the mailbox in the building got broken into (on a Sunday when there’s the least amount of mail to steal) and it’s been out of commission for real mail (they’re still delivering junk mail, yay) for a few weeks, with replacement locks that may not be installed until as late as mid-February
  • I only lost 1.7 pounds. Better than gaining but still a bit disappointing
  • everything Donald Trump did in his first 11 days in office. After only eight days he had a negative approval rating and has lived up to every sensible person’s worst fears. A thoroughly awful person and a terrible, awful president. Shame on everyone who cast a vote for this vile excuse for a man
  • there’s more but after Trump, meh

And on the third day…I was tired

It’s the third day of the month. A few things to note:

  • it is the first day of the spring semester. I know, it seems odd to refer to it as the spring semester when it starts in January but it ends in April, so it kind of balances out
  • it was very busy today
  • I now have a lifelong hatred of projectors
  • well, maybe not lifelong but at least a week long
  • the sidewalks that have not been shoveled are basically sheets of ice; I observed several people slipping but none actually ended up flat out, so that’s a positive
  • I was too tired at lunch to write or work on writing-related stuff, so I surfed
  • same thing this evening; I’m allowing myself this one day as an exception since I’m just getting into the swing of things after a few weeks off
  • I have been pretty good on snacking today, having resisted several plates of cookies and other treats
  • I have over 16,000 steps today, which was my usual average back before The Fattening began–an encouraging sign
  • 17 days to go until Inauguration Day. Will we find Bobby in the shower and realize this has all been a crazy dream? Here’s hoping!
  • I’m going to be finishing up “The Box on the Bench” by popular request. I love the idea and parts of the story but it needs some major reworking. I haven’t decided if I’m looking forward to this yet or not.
  • I’ve gotten full value on the “damn snow” tag this past month
  • the forecast is calling for snow showers on Friday, followed by rain, followed by more snow showers, with temperatures going up and down not unlike a rollercoaster. This means at least a few more weeks of snow/ice/slush/some form of cold horror on the ground. This also means more time on the elliptical and/or treadmill!

2017 in review (one day in)

Here is my review of 2017, less than 24 hours into the year. This is part of my “get in quick” campaign for the year, to make sure no task is left until it’s too late.

Good

  • Donald Trump is still not officially president
  • no new snow
  • coughing less, feeling a bit better, more energetic
  • had yummy fresh bread with blueberry jam and tea

Bad

  • only 19 days until Donald Trump is officially president
  • existing snow is now getting all crunchy and slippery
  • would prefer to already be healthy rather than just improving
  • resisting the urge to put all food into my mouth is not easy

Ugly

  • yes, I ate a few Bugles–but only a few!

In conclusion, 2017 is okay so far.

‘Twas the night before Christmas (2016 edition)

Technically this is a rare white Christmas, not because I am, in fact, white (which is not rare but persistent), but because there is still snow on the ground. It’s been around eight years since snow hung around for so long. It feels like this snow has been around for eight years.

I went for a twenty-minute walk around the neighborhood this evening and as one might expect on Christmas Eve, it was very quiet, aided in part by rather dense fog. I had people in a car pull over and ask me how to get to the Patullo Bridge. Normally you can find it by just driving toward it–it’s kind of hard to miss. But in the fog, it’s actually really easy to miss. If you’re not familiar with the area you’d have no real sense of where you are. You might be driving into a town that sacrifices tourists to appease a corn god or even into Surrey.

Tomorrow is forecast to be cold and clear, which is fine by me. Boxing Day (the start of Boxing Week, Boxing Month and eventually Boxing Year) is slated to feature more snow. This is not fine by me. I’d like to start running outdoors again before it’s officially spring.

Oh, and I somehow hurt my lower back about a week and a half ago (lifting an old Seanix PC, I think) and it’s been slowly recovering, except last night when it suddenly got much worse. I’ve been more mobile today and have medicated in anticipation of the bed failing to comfort as it should.

So I only really want three things for Christmas:

  1. No more snow this winter (seems unlikely)
  2. My back to feel better (there’s a decent chance it will at least be improving again)
  3. Donald Trump to be kidnapped by Bigfoot, never to be seen again (unlikely but I remain hopeful)

Overall, not the worst Christmas Eve ever but given how generally dismal this year has been, I am content the fog outside isn’t actually on fire.

 New Year Resolutions for 2017 (assuming the world is still here by 2018)

It is time to make resolutions because tradition demands we make silly promises, break them, express regret, then do the whole thing over again a year later, which is just enough time to convince ourselves that this time will be different.

That said, my goal to get to 150 pounds this year was going quite well until mid-October. By then I was at 153 pounds and was still running regularly, having recovered nicely from an injury in the early spring (and having escaped battered but without any broken bits in my Great Tripping Incident in August). Then two things happened:

  1. I caught a very nasty cold. It laid me out for a couple of weeks and I missed a bunch of runs.
  2. Simultaneously, the sun began setting early enough that by the time I was healthy again I could no longer run my usual routes after work because it was now dark and I’d be attacked and carried away by vampire bats.

To address #2 I kept running on the weekends, but once a week is not enough to keep in shape. I pondered running during lunch at work but did not commit to it for various reasons. I thought about using the treadmill at the Canada Games Pool but my partner kept offering to go and then not really wanting to, which made it easy for me to decide that yes, it was easier to just sit at home and eat bags of Bugles instead.

This is all to say that about two months later I am up to 164 pounds, an impressive backslide. Gaining weight is very easy. If I made that a resolution I’d have 51 weeks left to work on any and all other resolutions.

My first resolution, therefore, will not be a huge surprise.

My Resolutions for 2017 Assuming Donald Trump
Doesn’t Destroy the World

  • drop to 145 pounds. Yes, I’m actually making the goal tougher for 2017. Secretly this was always my goal and 150 pounds was a soft target. I’ve been as low as 143 pounds and it’s definitely not too skinny on my frame. Though I am kind of skinny, anyway.
  • run at least three times a week barring injury or other extraordinary circumstance. I would previously include “the entire city covered in snow” being an extraordinary circumstance but really, there are gyms and treadmills, so this doesn’t qualify. It’s also the minimum needed to keep in decent shape.
  • no farmers tan. I wear t-shirts when running and as a result when I remove my shirt I a) blind anyone nearby with my ultra-white untanned body and b) get mocked for having conspicuously tanned arms right up to where the sleeves of my t-shirts sit. My solution this year will be to wear sleeveless shirts (I already have a few) and maybe a few stints working on a wee bit of a tan for my upper body. I might entertain the thought of running without a shirt when the weather is warmer but I’m not sure I should subject the world to that.
  • killer abs. Yes, the time has come to work on my upper body, especially if I’m not going to have an unseemly farmers tan. I haven’t decided how to do this yet. I have dumbbells but I tried them before and didn’t like them much. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure I won’t like anything I try to achieve this goal. It will be an interesting challenge.
  • eat better. This means fewer Bugles and saying no when offered candy. Currently, I tend to say yes except you can’t hear the actual word because I’m already shoving the candy into my mouth.
  • learn to swim. Haha, no. I’m not trying that again! Well, maybe. But only if I can learn with people who really can’t swim, not the bunch of cheaters I was grouped with when I took lessons in 2009.

That covers my health-oriented goals. Now onto being a better person in various ways.

  • write 1,000 words a day. No exceptions except under extraordinary circumstances like every keyboard, pen, pencil and other writing instrument in the world suddenly disappear and even then I could scratch out words in the dirt with a sturdy twig. These 1,000 words are to be fiction, so blog posts don’t count.
  • read at least 32 books. I’d love to bump this to 52 and do a book a week but I simply can’t read that fast. Maybe I could make speed reading a 2018 goal.
  • be a positive influence to others. I have no specifics on this. I’ll just try to think before I post, be nice and smile (but not in a creepy sort of way).
  • win the lottery. I’d spend the money wisely, I promise!

That’s good for now. If I think of more I’ll add them and I’ll try to re-visit the list periodically to see how I’m doing. I expect tears.

 Top 10 ways the world could end

What better time to contemplate world-ending disasters than the holiday season?

  1. Meteor/asteroid/comet strike. A big one would wipe out most life on the planet within weeks. On the plus side, we wouldn’t suffer for long.
  2. Global pandemic. The Black Death killed as many as 200 million in Europe in the 14th century and that was without convenient air travel allowing the infected to hopscotch the planet, spreading disease as the go.
  3. Trump starts some kind of nuclear war. I call out Trump specifically because he is more likely than anyone else on the planet to think using nukes is a good idea, and then to actually use them. It would be tough to wipe out all life, though, because most other leaders would probably be smart enough to hold off.
  4. The sun dies. This one will actually happen, but we’re good for a few more billion years or so.
  5. Climate change goes amok. The signs aren’t good. The biggest concern would be climate change making basic resources like food and water scarce, even in developed countries. This could see billions die as areas where people can comfortably live and food can be grown will shrink dramatically. Tip: Don’t invest in Miami beachfront property.
  6. Aliens vaporize our planet to make way for a hyperspace bypass. Let’s face it, we’d be hard-pressed to give them a good reason not to do this.
  7. An unprecedented solar storm strips away the atmosphere. You can only hold your breath for so long.
  8. A different sun a few light years away goes supernova, baking the Earth like a clay pot. Suns can be real jerks sometimes.
  9. One or more super volcanoes erupt. As befits their super designation, these volcanoes can alter the global climate in a way that would kind of kill almost everything, thanks to years of ash-filled skies.
  10. Gravity stops working and everything just floats off into space. It’s just a theory, after all. Maybe it’s controlled by molemen in the center of the Earth and they all go on strike for better pay or free Netflix.

 Five best things about snow in Vancouver

  1. It’s better than molten lava pouring down the streets.
  2. It makes things ever so slightly quieter outside, creating a pseudo-small town ambience.
  3. There’s no chance of it piling up between May and August (note: this may change in a few decades).
  4. Provides opportunity to build cool forts at no cost (cool forts–get it?!)
  5. As far as we know, snow doesn’t cause cancer.

The current forecast calls for 3-7 cm of snow on Saturday. This qualifies as a moderate amount of snow. Sunday’s forecast is 22 mm of rain, turning the freshly fallen snow into less-than-fresh piles of slush. Fortunately (?) the rest of the week looks wet enough (and above freezing) that it should wash away whatever remnants of the white stuff that survives the weekend.

Running on Sunday is looking a tad dicey, though. I’ve never run in slush and it’s not something that makes my socks roll up and down in excitement, either.

Basically I’m ready for summer.

Random thoughts for December 9th

  • It’s been snowing most of the day and into the evening. This is the most snow we’ve had since the Great Snow of 2008. I expect it to end in giant lakes of slush, as is the tradition of big Vancouver snowfalls.
  • After a week of near or just-below freezing temperatures it’s finally starting to get a little cool in the condo. Without turning the heat on it plunges down to…22ºC.
  • I like tacos.
  • I missed my second drawing for December. I should probably have picked a day to do them (eg. every Monday) instead of a date (eg. the first day of the month, then one week later, then another week later, etc.). I’ll draw something on the weekend. A blizzard, maybe.
  • I’m seriously thinking about buying an electric razor because I’ve come to loathe using a razor blade and shaving cream. I want to shave and go as quickly as possible so I have more time to write lists of random thoughts.
  • I completed my Goodreads Book Challenge for 2016, reading 32 of 32 books. I’ve since read #33 and am working on #34 now. This is the one perk of a long commute.
  • Why does the SkyTrain run slow in the snow when there is no actual snow on the rails?
  • The Goretex jacket is paying off.
  • Next week I start on the road back to 150 again after a month and a half of backsliding due to a) usual level of snacking combined with b) no lunchtime walks c) lunch and d) a lot less running.
  • The sun set at 4:13 p.m. today. I hate winter.

Albums or music I would like to see (but never will)

(Ignore for a moment that you can’t actually see music, unless it’s on a sheet.)

Nostalgia is fun, but sometimes it’s best to remember what was and not what might be.

  • A new Pink Floyd album featuring the Waters, Gilmour, Mason and Wright line-up. This won’t happen because Rick Wright is dead, for one, David Gilmour would never agree to it for another, and even if all four were around and agreed, I doubt they could recapture their best work. The dream is gone. I have become comfortably numb.
  • A new Alan Parson Project album. Not one of Parsons’ solo efforts, but a reunion between Parsons and his co-creator of the Project, Eric Woolfson. Woolfson died a few years ago and the closest the two came to working together again was when Parsons remastered their entire catalog. Given the time apart to each do what each wanted (Parsons toured with a live band, Woolfson staged original musicals), I think they might have produced something decent with a one-time reunion.
  • R.E.M. with the original Berry, Buck, Mills and Stipe. line-up. R.E.M. produced some great material after Berry quit but they also produced some of their most uninspired music, too and it was obvious at the end that Mills and Stipe were glad to leave it all behind. A one-off album with no obligations between the four of them, something that would be a fusion of their original sound–jangly Byrds-style rock–with the best of their more sophisticated later work would likely be a worthy listen.
  • An album of original material featuring the vocals of Barbra Streisand but written by a strong songwriter, not someone who would write timid or predictable pop schlock. Streisand has an amazing, powerful voice but her rare forays into pop music (Guilty, etc.) are undermined by material that is often pedestrian. I can’t actually think of a good fit here right now because I’m out of touch with much of the contemporary music scene, so insert your favorite songwriter here.
  • Another Simon and Garfunkel reunion. Just kidding. I would like to see some sort of Simon and Garfunkel-esque collaboration, though. For one half of this duo I nominate Mike Mills, former bassist of R.E.M.
  • I’m not sure I’d actually like to see this, but it would at least be interesting to behold what Billy Joel would have to say with 23 years having lapsed since his last album, 1993’s River of Dreams. Would he be an angry old man or merely cranky?