The first major update for Windows 10 came out recently. It adds the usual assortment of enhancements, fixes and tweaks, but of all of these things the one that pleases–nay, delights–me the most is allowing title bars to actually have color again.
In Windows 8 it was possible to adjust the color of the title bar but not the color of the text, which was always black. This meant you could make the text effectively invisible by making title bars black or some other dark shade. Windows 10 changed this by taking away all choice. You had black text on a white title bar, except for arbitrary apps Microsoft slapped color title bars on–and you also couldn’t adjust those, even to make them match the white ones. It was interface design channeled through a 1970 Soviet committee.
Now, though, I can have a friendly, soothing blue title bar on every program. I open Word and a wave of calm washes over me, like a gentle and warm tide. Then I struggle to remember how to make hidden text visible and start grinding my teeth. Focus on the title bar, I think, let the blue calm me. And it works. That and closing Word. Really, after a billion versions Microsoft should be doing more than slapping a coat of paint on the thing every couple of years. I’m leaning toward going back to WriteMonkey or some other tool that focuses more on actual writing and less on doing everything ever with text and stuffing the means to do these multitude of things in an endless series of icons, ribbons and dialog choices. (Hidden text can be shown by going to File > Options > Display and checking “Hidden text” under the “Always show these formatting marks on the screen” option. But you probably already knew that.)
Anyway, colored title bars are nice. Windows 10 is now officially 23% better.
Google announced the second version of its OnHub router today and it kind of looks like a miniature version of a nuclear power plant cooling tower. I mean, it even has a radioactive glow at the bottom:
While nuclear power is not exactly hot (ho ho) after Three Mile Island, Chernobyl and Fukushima, the subtle shape may not trigger alarm bells for those not exposed (!) to the iconic look of a cooling tower. And it could have been worse. Google could have made it look like a fire hydrant or erect penis. An erect penis with a radioactive glow.
I’ve removed the ol’ tag cloud that I’ve had on the site for the past hundred years or so as tag clouds are becoming passe, like parachute pants and a stable global climate. Instead I’m using a widget that now groups the tags into a dropdown menu so you can easily (assuming you have a robust scroll wheel on your mouse or energetic finger for your mobile device) peruse all 463 of them.
My post-to-tag ratio is clearly out of whack as making random tags I’ll only ever use once (364 of 463) is almost as fun as making lists. And I love making lists so much people do indeed ask me, “Why don’t you marry them?”
Because I used the “l” word, here’s a list of my five most-used tags:
he’s got legs (97)
he’s got (tired) legs 91
Africa hot (67)
random stuff (67)
book reviews (63)
Summary: I like talking about my legs a lot (ie. jogging), I regularly complain about the heat (see above, re: stable global climate), I have a lot of thoughts just drift into my head, and finally, I review most of the books I read. Who knew?
The polling stations across the country have closed, the majority of ballots have been tallied and finally the decades-long election of 2015 (okay, it was really 78 days, but that’s still about twice as long as most Canadian elections) is over.
The Liberals have surprisingly won a majority government and Justin Trudeau will be our 23rd prime minster. I don’t like their stance on Bill C-51 and am highly skeptical that they will bring in promised electoral reform (especially with a majority) but on balance I think a lot of their policies are sensible and they deserve a chance to govern.
More importantly, Stephen Harper, a sour socially conservative control freak seemingly interested only in amassing power while debasing every federal institution he turned his eye to, will no longer be prime minster. Good riddance to the man whose greatest contribution to this country was the determined dismantling of everything that makes Canada a tolerant, fair and generous nation. At the same time he took to the stage to offer his “concession” speech, an aide confirmed in a written statement that he would be resigning as Conservative leader tomorrow–something he never mentioned in his speech because he was too busy congratulating himself on what a great job he’d done and shame we didn’t re-elect his party to government again.
Anyway, I’m glad this election is over and I’m glad Harper is gone. May we never see another party leader like him again.
Now I can get back to important issues, like amusing cat images.
After a campaign lasting approximately five generations, the federal election of 2015 is finally coming to an end in two days or October 19th, as it is better known.
A couple of nutty things have transpired very recently.
The Globe and Mail endorsed the Conservatives. This is no surprise, as all major newspapers in Canada are utterly beholden to the Conservatives thanks to the concentration of media ownership in the hands of a very few (and very conservative) owners. More surprising, however, is The Globe and Mail endorsed the Conservatives but specifically didn’t endorse Stephen Harper.
I know, you’re thinking, “You big kidder! Now link to The Onion article you’re referring to.” But here it is, at a genuine, not-hacked-by-political-agent-provocateurs Globe and Mail website: The Tories deserve another mandate–but Stephen Harper doesn’t.
Canada needs a change. It also needs the maintenance of many aspects of the economic status quo. What Canada needs, then, is a Conservative government that is no longer the Harper government.
This is said after admitting that both the Liberals and NDP wouldn’t really change much in terms of economic policy (perceived by The Globe and Mail as a good thing) but also aren’t headed by a dark Satanic taskmaster like Harper (perceived as a bad thing).
It is not time for the Conservatives to go. But it is time for Mr. Harper to take his leave.
You can almost hear the Godwinning. “If only Hitler had stepped down, the Nazis would have been pretty OK!”
His [Stephen Harper’s] party deserves to be re-elected. But after Oct. 19, he should quickly resign.
Here’s a tiny insight for The Globe and Mail editorial board: If the Conservatives are re-elected, Harper is not going to resign. To think or pretend otherwise is to demonstrate the political sophistication of a kumquat. And I say that with apologies to any kumquats reading this.
I won’t argue against the idea that the Conservatives–and all of Canada–would be better off without Harper as their leader or as our PM. But endorsing the party and not its leader, a leader who has been the most controlling, contemptuous of democracy PM this country has ever seen–is stupid. They are currently inseparable. Harper has made himself the Conservative party by ruling with the proverbial iron fist. I’m quite sure any number of people in his own party would be glad to see him go.
That doesn’t make The Globe and Mail’s endorse-the-body-but-not-the-head approach any less dumb. They should be ridiculed from sea to shining sea for this inane stance. I’ve done my part!
The other nutty thing was Conrad Black’s endorsement piece that ran in The National Post, another paper to pitch for the Conservatives. As you may know, Black is a tad on the conservative side himself. He concludes his piece by referring to Harper thusly:
We really cannot have another four years of government by a sadistic Victorian schoolmaster.
Earlier in the article, after listing some accomplishments of Harper and ranking him as among the second-greatest set of prime ministers, Black says this:
On the other side of the ledger as we approach this election, his government has, with a parliamentary majority, become sclerotically rigid, media-inaccessible, authoritarian and peevish. Strong ministers such as John Baird and the late Jim Flaherty have not been properly replaced, and there is no discernible policy goal or imagination: only the relentless pursuit of extended incumbency. It is a humourless and often paranoid regime where all spontaneity in cabinet or in the governing caucus in Parliament is stifled and punished.
Look, when your political friends say these things about you and your party, then turn around and endorse Justin Trudeau–a Liberal!–you know you’ve strayed from the path.
The election is two days away. Train your puppies with The Globe and Mail and don’t vote Conservative.
In 2006 Jonathan Coulton released a song a week (hence thing a week) and ultimately put together all of the songs in a collection spanning four albums (for the younger, “albums” are a bunch of songs collected together that were originally available in quaint formats such as cassette tape and compact disc). You can (and should) buy them here: http://www.jonathancoulton.com/store/downloads/ because they are funny, fun and “funny.”
Need 12 more reasons to buy these albums? Maybe you just like lists of songs? I’ve got both covered directly below.
W’s Duty (samples of George W. Bush using the word “duty” set to a grungy beat. It’s funny because Bush consistently makes the word sound like “doody.” It’s also juvenile, which is precisely why it is funny)
The Town Crotch (a surprisingly warm reminisce about growing up in a small town and a loose woman with big hair)
A Talk with George (the serious side of Coulton features George Plimpton telling you to live your life. There is no mention of Intellivision.)
Re: Your Brains (obligatory [?] zombie song featuring lines such as “I’m not a monster, Tom/Well, technically I am”)
Tom Cruise Crazy (good thing he’s not gay anymore)
Famous Blue Raincoat (a mesmerizing cover of Cohen’s song that ups the tempo but remains haunting)
Creepy Doll (effective use of spooky music/sound, complete with twist ending)
Under the Pines (jaunty tale of a Leonard Nimoy/Bigfoot love affair)
Mr. Fancy Pants (short, funnier than it should be–pants are just inherently funny, I think–and toe-tappingly catchy)
I’m Your Moon (more hooks than Saturn has rings, this song about Pluto is weirdly touching)
Pull the String (Coulton would probably be considered a “serious” artist if he put out entire albums of songs like this. I’m glad he doesn’t but equally glad he indulges himself with this kind of straightforward but compelling songcraft)
Anyone familiar with these albums will notice I only included one cover (“Famous Blue Raincoat”) because while most of the others are quite good (he sounds almost eerily like Paul McCartney on “I Will” and you’re probably wearing suspenders and have your pants hiked to your nipples if you don’t find his delivery in “Baby Got Back” amusing) his original songs are better. And “Don’t Talk to Strangers” is still a lousy song, even when being covered by Jonathan Coulton.
But enough with the negative. Go buy these albums, and if his website is offering plush dolls of George Plimpton and Bigfoot, buy those, too. Funny, intelligent and musically talented is a rare combination to be treasured–and rewarded.
Here’s the breakdown of songs I picked from each Thing a Week album:
1, 2, 3
4, 5
6, 7
8, 9, 10, 11, 12 (yes, I do think he saved the best for last)
Here we are with only six days to go before Election Day. It’s been several decades since Stephen Harper called the election and a new generation is entirely ambivalent about voting. Or perhaps not, as Elections Canada is reporting a 71% increase in voting at advance polls this year vs. the 2011 election (or as I call 2011, The Big Oops). Of course big numbers in advance polls don’t always translate to election day but it’s at least a little encouraging to see some people pull away from checking their Facebook status* long enough to get out and exercise their democratic right.
To the surprise of no one, the Conservatives have turned to fear, racism and general hate as the election drags on and on. It has had some effect, though it’s hard to say for certain who is benefiting more. If the billion polls are accurate, NDP support has taken a big dive, with the Conservatives improving a little and the Liberals improving a lot. Various projections give either the Conservatives (The Big Oops) a plurality of seats while others point to the Liberals getting the most. Tom Mulcair is putting on a brave beardy face and insisting it’s still a three-party race, which it could very well be, as polls nowadays can sometimes be more than a little inaccurate.
Fun fact: if we end up with a minority government, it will be the fourth in the last five elections. The Liberals, NDP, Bloc Quebecois and Green Party (the latter two are not projected to win enough seats to wield any real influence) have all stated categorically that they will not help prop up a minority Conservative government, no matter how many photos Stephen Harper gets with him holding a kitten. This is a good thing for the country and for kittens.
Here’s hoping that next Monday I will not start drinking heavily.
* I secretly–well, not that secretly–hope this reference becomes horribly dated in a few years
I rediscovered Facebook tonight when I got an email alerting me to a request to have my password reset, a request I never made. Fearing hax, I visited Facebook to make my dust-covered, neglected account more secure and discovered about half a dozen people had wished me a happy birthday two weeks ago. I felt slightly bad for not acknowledging these birthday wishes in a timely manner, as I had turned off all notifications from Facebook at some point. I posted to let everyone know I was still around and would probably still only post about once a year or so. Then I made my account slightly more secure and closed the Facebook tab.
If you happen to buy an HP PC you may find a slip of paper inside the keyboard box with a warning about the keyboard. You may think it’s the usual warning about carpal tunnel or something but no, it’s a warning about breaking the keyboard.
Keep your dirty alien hands off our keyboards
The two handy tips, summarized:
To prevent breakage, don’t bend the stand legs back until they break. Also, to avoid car accidents, don’t crash your car.
Apply light pressure when using the keyboard. This implies that it’s possible to type with enough force to break the keyboard. Either these are very flimsy keyboards or HP imagines anyone using them will pound the keys like an angry villain with super strength*.
The best part, though, is the hands. Those splayed out appendages are like a Rorschach test. One glance and they look like pine air fresheners you’d hang on the rearview mirror, another glance and maybe they are tree trunks or deformed octopi or alien claws.
Since it is impossible to type without putting some kind of downward pressure on the keys, the illustration can be interpreted as telling you to not use the keyboard for typing. This would certainly keep it the legs from breaking. A good warning, then.
* based on my experience using keyboards in public–with many a broken leg, missing, stuck or wobbly keys–I think there may in fact be a lot of villains with super strength out there typing away
