A haiku in tribute to a month of nearly zero weight loss. Not that I’m bitter. I’m totally not. At all.
Maybe a little.
I confess to having nipped at a cookie or two, so I have no one but to blame but my stupid hands and their ability to pick up edible things and shove them into my willing mouth. I’ll work on this in February. In the meantime, haiku:
A desire to slim
The donuts are forbidden
But sprinkles linger
This month I decided I would try to trim away all the extra flab I acquired in the last few months of 2013. Here are the results in graphical form from myfitnesspal.com, where I have been tracking my weight on a daily basis:
As you can see, over the course of 30 days I managed to lose…zero pounds.
For the curious, the low point on that chart is 171.6 pounds on January 12.
On the one hand this is not terribly impressive because it means it would take approximately infinity for me to lose any weight at all. On the other hand I didn’t gain weight, so I’ve at least stemmed the fat-filled tide.
Successes for January
I managed to reduce my snacking/donut addiction at school (where I work) to a single donut one Friday afternoon and that single donut was provided free of charge. I resisted the candy bowl filled with chocolate that sat on the front counter until it was completely empty. As the bowl itself was not made of chocolate I was safe at that point. I reduced my incessant gorging of snacks at home.
Failures for January
I did not run or exercise as much as I planned to. This is important because I typically eat less on exercise days. My snacking at home was still higher than it should be and often consisted of the wrong sort of snacks–potato chips instead of yogurt, cookies instead of carrot sticks. There is room for much improvement here. I also need to start making my own lunch again as this will reduce my caloric intake by a few hundred each day.
Goals for February
I was going to have a snack tonight before bed but resisted. To quote GlaDOS from Portal, this is a triumph.
I will post the results of tomorrow’s weigh-in (the last for the month) tomorrow. If I actually end up for the month I am going to force myself to pee until that changes.
UPDATE, January 31: I weighed in at 172.8 pounds, down 0.6 pounds, thus saving the need for any extra peeing. 0.6 pounds down for the entire month. Woo, I say.
In the last few months of 2013 two things happened:
In October at my annual physical I weighed in at 160 pounds. This was eight pounds more than the previous year. It was also ten pounds above my usual target of 150 pounds. This was bad.
On January 1st I stepped on the scale (it cried out) and saw these numbers: 174.6.
Yes, I was nearly 25 pounds over my target weight and more than 30 pounds over my low of 2012 when I tipped the scale at a mere 143 pounds during the height of my summer runs.
My size 30 jeans were no longer feeling comfy. I had to stand really straight to get a sort-of flat tummy in profile. I felt blah and listless. I kept stuffing shortbread into my face.
With the new year conveniently at hand I put myself back onto a weight loss regimen. As of this morning that horrific 174.6 number has changed to the slight-less horrific number of 172.2. It could be water, it could be a rounding error, the important thing is it’s going in the right direction and even though there is shortbread here right now, mere feet away from me in the kitchen, I AM NOT EATING IT.
I have been mostly snack-free these four days and the snacks I’ve allowed myself–a cube or two of Havarti cheese, some popcorn, a few carrot sticks–have kept me well under my daily calorie total. This is the hard part, the first week where my fat stomach says “I’m hungry, please continue to shove food into the mouth, okay?” and I must tell my stomach “No, you big stupid fat thing. You’ll have your two carrot sticks and you’ll like it!”
I’ll check in once a week or so to report whether my brain or stomach is triumphing.
I recently re-discovered the name of the dangly thing at the back of your throat–the uvula. The reason for this re-discovery started back on Wednesday morning when I awoke with mildly irritated sinuses and throat. It felt like I might get one last summer cold this year.
By Friday the sinus part had mostly gone away but the throat part compensated. It was incredibly sore and it felt like I had phlegm caught in the back of it, closing off parts I’d prefer to keep open. Swallowing, even without yummy food or drink involved, hurt a lot.
Saturday evening came and I could take no more, so off I went to the emergency room of Royal Columbian. The nice part about this is it’s two blocks away. I got there at 8 p.m. and left shortly after nine with a prescription and tentative diagnosis.
Basically my throat was infected and the uvula had become so swollen that it was now touching the back of my throat, producing a sensation that was more maddening than anything. The doctor was not sure what the exact cause was as he didn’t think it was strep throat (a bacterial infection usually caught by some goober coughing or sneezing on you on the SkyTrain, Vancouver’s preferred high-speed transmission vector for illnesses). It could possibly be allergies, bad luck, voodoo, who knows?
He cautioned that the medication (Apo-Prednisone) could take a few days to reduce the swelling and also recommended taking an antihistamine, so I picked up some Benadryl for good measure. Drugs drugs drugs!
It’s been a few hours since I took everything (well, the required dose, not actually everything) and it seems to have made a small difference. Maybe it’s a placebo effect and if so, that’s still good enough for me. I’m all for my brain being tricked into being happier.
They did swab my throat for a sample to send to The Lab for strep and I may get a call in 24-48 hours confirming that. If so I will have to take even more drugs, probably for a good ten days or so. Given my history with antibiotics (hint: the wrong ones give me a rash over my entire body) I’m hoping the test comes up negative.
Anyway, I definitely recommend not getting your uvula infected if you can avoid it. It’s effective as a weight loss measure as the thought of eating or drinking anything becomes repellant but I’d rather get my sexy figure back another way.
April Fools Day, especially in the era of the Internet, seems to be split between clever and obviously fake ads, stories and such, along with other ‘pranks’ that are mean-spirited, insulting or deliberately meant to confuse and/or falsely raise expectations.
I’m glad it only comes once a year.
On the plus side, today was another sunny, mild day. The weather is expected to change tomorrow but I’ve taken advantage and walked or run over 40 km in the past three days. My feet may not be on speaking terms with me at the moment but I plan to bribe them with new comfy shoes next weekend.
I did one more Big Walk® around Burnaby Lake before my first tentative steps back into running next weekend.
The weather was sunny after several days of monsoon-like weather thanks to the Pineapple Express. I took advantage and found it to be mild, with little wind and most of the big puddles already having dried up along the trail. Even the cyclists and dogs off-leash didn’t bug me. It was a nice hint that spring is on the way after The Rains.
My favorite “rules are not for me!” moment came when crossing north on Roberts Street, near the rowing pavilion. As you approach the resumption of the trail on the other side of the road there is an especially giant sign that states DOGS MUST BE LEASHED AT ALL TIMES. I watched a woman stop and remove the leash from her dog in front of this sign. I don’t know if she was going for bonus irony points or what. At least the dog was well-behaved.
I used the iPod pedometer to track my pace and came in with the following stats:
2:23:53 duration
17.6 km distance
898 calories burned
18,746 steps taken
I was walking fast enough that any faster would have been a light jog. Things seem to have held together nicely both during and after the walk. Next weekend I’m heading to the resplendent gold and blue Mercer Stadium Track to do a simple calibration run fort the new iPod. It will probably be 2-4 laps or 800-1600 meters, enough to get the calibration and see if my Achilles tendon will weep in protest or behave itself. From there I will be doing a few short runs per week, starting with some 2Ks, moving up to 5Ks and finally back to my usual 10-11.5K runs. I don’t have a set schedule in mind, I’ll just ramp things up based on my stamina and pain/discomfort after each run. If all goes well I’m going to aim to beat last year’s mark by running 1,000K. Since I’ve already missed two months, I’l need to hit at least 100K each month going forward. If I stay healthy I can do it. If not, I can always lie lie lie.
There’s nothing quite like the sensation of laying down to sleep and finding yourself unable to breathe. This happened a few nights ago when my über-cold left my nose completely stuffed up. I had to breathe through my mouth, which made me dizzy. I eventually fell asleep probably due to exhaustion. When I awoke in the middle of the night one of my nostrils had kindly opened up enough to permit semi-normal breathing.
Worst cold ever.
Also the last post I’m making about it. Colds are pretty boring to read about and if I could capture the misery of the past week in a way that was truly entertaining, I’d be rich. Hmm. I may have to think about this.
Onward to the rest of what should hopefully be a healthy remainder of 2013:
Valentine’s Day is coming up. My favorite manufactured holiday when I was a kid because of the candy. I was especially fond of chocolate-covered marshmallow hearts. Mmm. Now I prefer the day after when all the candy gets marked down 50%. I usually treat myself to something small that I can work off without too much guilt/effort.
Running: This is probably still about three weeks off. I’m going to start stretching exercises to make sure my tendon is ready. The first run will be a short test that will also serve to calibrate my new iPod nano. The best thing about it, apart from the electric green case…
…is that it incorporates the Nike+ sensor/receiver so I don’t need to attach any extra hardware to my shoe (or the iPod). An added bonus is no more infernal clickwheel to deal with, especially one that refuses to function in the slightest bit of rain, making the end of a jog unusually difficult to, well, end. The test run will be done at a track to ensure maximum accuracy for the calibration. In the meantime I’ll try to return to the pool/gym at least a few times each week until the runs resume. Excelsior!
Diet: My weight has steadied out around 156-157 but should start going back down soon as I start packing a modest lunch to work and resist the siren song of the donut. My goal is to be back to my usual weight by my next physical, probably a few months from now.
This site: I have found a few themes I may be able to hammer into something serviceable for my needs. This is a long term project so I’ll probably work away at it a little at a time. I am planning on having a revamped site up before the end of the year.
As I enter my third day of being truly and awfully sick it came to mind that I wasn’t sure if this was just a bad cold or the flu, so I did what any like-minded person would do: I searched the web.
WebMD’s guide compares the symptoms of each and the results are inconclusive:
| Symptoms | Cold | Flu |
| Fever | Rare | Characteristic, high (100-102 degrees F); lasts three to four days |
| Headache | Rare | Prominent |
| General Aches, Pains | Slight | Usual; often severe |
| Fatigue, Weakness | Quite mild | Can last up to two to three weeks |
| Extreme Exhaustion | Never | Early and prominent |
| Stuffy Nose | Common | Sometimes |
| Sneezing | Usual | Sometimes |
| Sore Throat | Common | Sometimes |
| Chest Discomfort, Cough |
Mild to moderate; hacking cough |
Common; can become severe |
| Complications | Sinus congestion or earache |
Bronchitis, pneumonia; can be life-threatening |
| Prevention | Good hygiene | Annual flu shot or FluMist |
| Treatment | Only temporary relief of symptoms |
Antiviral drugs (Tamiflu or or Relenza) within 24-48 hours of onset |
I haven’t had a fever, though I have had periods of feeling too warm/too cold. I have had an on/off headache (a bit of one right now, in fact) and weakness…well, let’s say the idea of replicating Saturday’s 20 km walk is not exactly a tantalizing prospect at the moment. The only things I have to treat the symptoms right now are Nyquil and sodium-encrusted noodle soup. I’ll take what I can get.
The problem with doing the thing I most want to — lay down and doze — is that my sinuses are so clogged up that reclining makes it nearly impossible to breathe. Perhaps a nice warm bath would help. Or some miracle pill invented by science.
Get to work, scientists! And deliver direct to door, please.
At the end of each semester at the college I work at there is a break of 10 days or so where the college is pretty much shut down. The winter one began a few days before Christmas and I was looking forward to some quality loafing off time. A few days in I developed what turned out to be an awful head cold that lingered on until just before the break ended, meaning I was sick for nearly the entire time. My loafing turned out to be enforced rather than voluntary. I did not like this.
I blamed the germ carriers on mass transit, as I always do.
This past Friday, within a few hours of getting home for the weekend, I developed a clone of the same head cold. As I write this I am experiencing its unpleasant effects in all their glory. I do not like this.
I again blame the germ carriers on mass transit.
In each case it’s as if the head cold was lying in wait until I had some quality free time, then struck as if to say, “Nuh uh! Your free time shall be filled with misery and runny noses!” And lo, it was.
I am also reminded that when I was running regularly I seemed to get sick a lot less often. I hope to resume this month to put that theory to the test. In the meantime, I shake my fist at you, head cold. I shake it weakly and while stifling a cough, but I shake it all the same.
While I am still not quite ready to return to running I decided to take advantage of the mild ‘n dry weather and do a simulated run around Burnaby Lake by walking the route. I estimated it would take around 3 hours and the pedometer on the iPod said it took 3:04 hours, so I trucked along much as I had anticipated. I even stretched the walk out a bit by taking the freeway trail (which I used for three weeks last summer when one of the boardwalks on the lake was being replaced). By the time I was heading back alongside the Brunette River I was getting tired and a little cranky.
The rounds on the elliptical are helping but I’m clearly not in prime condition. Also I didn’t wear my spiffy new running shoes and instead wore my cheap-o ones that are designed for maximum discomfort. In all, not my best-planned effort but it’s always nice to eat ice cream guilt-free.
I managed to start the sequel to the head cold I had over Christmas last night and like many sequels, it sucks. It didn’t affect my walk but here in the evening I’m feeling tuckered and my throat is irritating me, even more than when I try to sing. I’ll probably head off to bed early and dream of the wonderfully creative things I may have done if I didn’t feel like poop.
In the meantime, here is a stock image of my new running shoes, the Minimus 1010s. They are much like my previous pair but are blue instead of glow-in-the-dark orange. I kind of miss the orange, actually. Reading reviews on the New Balance site, it sounds like I may be looking for another pair shortly after I resume my runs. That would be rather disappointing, as my last two pairs of New Balance shoes have been very durable.
Don’t worry, I still have my calves. They’re right where they should be–above my ankles and below my knees. I am remembering them in particular due to my first trip to the gym last Wednesday. My partner and I headed over to the Canada Games Pool here in New Westminster to do a basic cardio workout that would not stress my Achilles tendon but would help get my flabby self back in shape before I resume my runs.
The pool has a full-featured gym so I paid $48 for a 10-pack of visits and in return got a shiny ID card with requisite horrible photo that could be scanned upon entry. I did my first scan and was set.
The gym area was surprisingly busy but we managed to find a pair of free ellipticals next to each other. Jeff also found a nice young instructor named Ryan who went over the basics of using the machine, as I had never been on one before. It seemed pretty straightforward. I got on, started the timer and began a 25 minute workout. I raised the tension up a bit to 3 (from 1) and reduced the incline down to 3 (from some value I can’t recall). This was done to better simulate a cross-country run instead of a jog up the side of a cliff. Within five minutes my calves were aflame. This is why you exercise regularly, to avoid your muscles crying out in horror at what you are doing to them. Fortunately they warmed up quickly and were fine the next day. I experienced a bit of minor soreness in my upper leg muscles but that was all. Given that my last run was in mid-November I consider this a rousing success.
I opted for only 20 minutes of workout instead of the full 25, not wanting to max it out the first night. I burned 173 calories–enough to take care of the ice cream I’d had for dessert earlier. I burned a few more when Jeff and I played a few rounds of ping pong, shot some hoops and then sweated in the whirlpool. In all it was actually kind of fun and I’m looking forward to our next trip. I may bring my iPod along for the elliptical part, though. It will distract me from constantly looking at the timer counting down, the analogy for which is indeed a watched pot that never boils.
After my run on Halloween I decided that heading out for another run in two days would be even scarier than the ghosts and witches I’d seen decorating the neighborhood, mainly due to my right Achilles tendon still being sore.
I’ve decided to rest it until at least this Saturday, November 10th. That will give me a week and a half for the tendon to recover. I think that may be enough time but we’ll see. If I still feel I am not up for a full run on Saturday I’ll probably at least do a walk as the low impact nature of that shouldn’t aggravate the foot.
The combination of not running and snacking has seen me inch above my maintenance weight for the first time in months. Granted it’s only by 0.2 pounds so far but still, it took me weeks to gain back the three pounds I’d lost from the flu. Now I seem to be having no trouble at all with the whole gaining thing. I’m trying to exercise (ho ho) a little more restraint when it comes to nibbling on calorie-laden goodies.