Photos

1971: The Year of the Stare

I have nearly all of my class photos, which in a way is kind of amazing. I’m scanning them in over time and the one below will eventually get added to the proper photo gallery with the rest. For now, here’s a look at my grade 2 class photo or “What I looked like 39 years ago”. Yikes! I am the last one on the right in the middle row, wearing a fashionably striped shirt. Our teacher was Mrs. Buckingham and we sometimes (out on the playground, never in class) called her Buckingham cigarettes because it was a popular brand at the time. How did a bunch of seven year old kids know about brands of cigarettes? Advertising! It amazes me how many of my elementary school teachers look exactly like the classic school marm stereotype. She was a pretty good lady, though. The kid with the ears two over from my right was not only the only kid in class who could always color inside the lines, he was freakishly good at drawing in general. It was because of him that I learned early on in life that there’s always someone who can do something better than you. I wonder if he kept pursuing art.

(click to see full-size)

On the right, middle row, glassy-eyed

Here’s a close-up:

Sail away

Stylin’ spectacles and a blank stare that suggests no current brain activity. I later became famously concerned that my ears stuck out too much. This becomes evident based on the hair “styles” I adopted in my senior school years. You’ll also understand why I put that word in quotes, too.

Angry Carrot in 3D (special glasses not required)

Do you ever get the urge to go back and finish some project you started years ago? I do from time to time but the reality is even if I decide to, I rarely complete a once-abandoned project, probably because I had a good reason for abandoning it.

A few years ago I began making a model of my cartoon character Angry Carrot out of plasticine. I only had green and orange plasticine, so I couldn’t do the black bits (face, arms, legs). Instead of going to a store to get the missing black, I just put what I had started in a cupboard and let it sit there for a couple of years.

Today I suddenly got it into my head to check the art supply store DeSerres while I was out. I figure if any place would have black plasticine, it would be an art store.

And lo, they did!

It was a brand they are not carrying anymore, so it was on clearance for, as you can see, $1.95. The clerk told me there would be no refunds or exchanges because of this. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s modeling clay and it’s less than two dollars. Who would bring it back for a refund? Someone who thought it was licorice?” I then realized this is exactly what would happen, so I simply smiled politely at the clerk.

For reference, here is a panel from an Angry Carrot comic:

I realized a couple of things as I slapped on Angry Carrot’s limbs:

  1. He would fall down and not get up in real life. If real life featured man-sized sentient carrots with anger management issues, that is. As it was I had to insert a bit from a screwdriver and lean him against a wall to keep him from tipping over.
  2. I need a better workspace than the tiny spot I can clear next to my keyboard.
  3. I need better tools for the actual sculpting.
  4. I need better lighting.
  5. I need more practice! He’s not the right shape and his stalk is too small.

Still, for a ‘proof of concept’ it’s not too bad. It is recognizably Angry Carrot.

Close-up:

Scary perspective shot from below!

And one more from above:

It was fun exercising my fingers without using a keyboard for a change. I’ll probably start another model of Angry Carrot from scratch with some sculpting tools and a better workspace and see how that goes. My ultimate plan would be to use actual modeling clay, probably the self-drying kind as I don’t have a kiln handy.

Ol’ four eyes

With the prescription for my glasses recently updated I have started perusing various optical shops, casting about for a new look for the eventuality of getting new frames. Today I visited the optical department of Sears as I was passing through Pacific Centre. These are about the boldest pair I tried on and apart from being too big for my narrow face, I rather like the way they look. They’re a fair bit different than what I have now and I’m kind of in the mood for different.

The Truth about the HOMOSEXUALS

(This is reposted from a thread I created on Quarter to Three’s forum)

Shortly after wrapping up my job at Expo 86, which is what brought me to Vancouver, I began my second job, this time at McDonald’s. It was about as exciting and enriching as you might think. I didn’t actually cook much, I was mainly the lobby guy — the person who goes around cleaning all the tables, mopping up spills and taking out the trash. As part of my duties I had to check the washrooms and occasionally people would leave literature on the counter offering the promise of a better life, a low mortgage or why are you a stinking drunk, anyway?

One of the pamphlets I found was called The Truth About the HOMOSEXUALS. The copyright date on its inside cover is from 1978, so this was written in the era of Harvey Milk and before AIDS was known. For a long time I could not find the pamphlet and had resigned myself to having lost it and the treasured wisdom contained therein. But lo, I re-discovered it while looking for something else.

Here’s the cover. 20th Century Sodomites!

The opening pages:

I’ve scanned in the first few pages:

The Truth About the HOMOSEXUALS

“And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord. .he took away the sodomites out of the land.”-I Kings 15:11,12.

“The same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.”-Luke 17: 29,30.

Hairy-chested males in frilly dresses and blonde wigs, their faces adorned with make-up, as they ride tricycles in public and dance with other perverts in San Francisco discos. Can you imagine that in a civilized society? Or the picture in the same magazine of young boys on leashes like dogs, soliciting as male prostitutes? They are called “gay slaves”! It is happening today!

Asa was obeying God when he took  away the Sodomites out of the land. The people today who stand up for the (so-called “gay”) Sodomites have missed the whole point.

The homosexual battle is not with the “bigoted fundamentalists” as they call us, but with the Great God of the universe and His holy Word.

Critics say, “They quote from First Corinthians and Leviticus,” as if that were all there was to it. Other “gay” adherents say that anti-Sodomite Scripture is to be found only in the Old Testament and that it means nothing today.

The liberal media, as usual, has grabbed on to a news-maker. They are always anxious to get a juicy tidbit that is scandalous and sensational. And they smack their lips with even keener delight when it lends itself to the opportunity to scorn the hated “fundamentalist.” It has become great fun to ignore or misquote God’s Word while vilifying those who dare to stand for what decent, God-fearing Americans have always believed in.

The very fact that we suddenly have a flood tide of abnormality sweeping in upon us in an open movement of homosexuals clamoring for attention and approval, proves the accuracy of the very Bible they seek to refute.

Decent, Civilized People Have
Always Been Against This
Monstrous Perversion

Why have we had Sodomy laws on the books of our states for so many years? Why have homosexual marriages been taboo? Why have normal people of all faiths (or of no faith) always felt revul¬sion by such activity? Why have people of culture and modesty not even wanted to discuss such a subject? Because homosexuality is totally unnatural and abnormal, and our nation was founded upon Christian decency and a high regard for God and His Word.

A Gallup poll states that a great majority of Americans are convinced that homosexuality is more prevalent today than twenty-five years ago. Letters quoted in popular and liberal news magazines are almost all pro-homo¬sexual, which means that either decent Americans are too disgusted with the whole filthy business to want to discuss it, or the magazines are purposely picking the twisted paragraphs from the pro¬-gays to further their cause.

The phenomenum is not entirely new, of course. There have always been some perverted people around. Otherwise, there would have been no need for God to warn us about it in His Word, and no need to list it with other sins from which God can save a man (I Cor. 6:9).

Charles Goetz, a freelance writer and actor, writing in the Cincinnati Enquirer magazine, while reminding us that Henry VIII’s England decreed homosexuality a capital crime, states that if they think they have trouble with Anita Bryant today, they don’t know what trouble is. They’re lucky they’re not living in ancient Persia. Under Zoroastrian law anyone working with an ax and coming upon a couple engaged in an “unnatural art” was obliged either to behead the riders or to rip them open.

Hindus and Mohammedans also took a dim view of homosexuality, although their punishments were not as severe as the Persians. Many classical Greeks were somewhat notorious for their homosexual life styles, believing that the unnatural act was something of a prelude to a natural sex life later on.

Goetz quotes doctors who say that homosexuality is usually more prevalent among males than females, and that “gay” pairs “most frequently consist of a young male and a somewhat older partner.”

Our Permissive Society Lets
Crime Go Unpunished, So
It Becomes More Bold

Terrifying telecasts on the evening news recently revealed that hordes of young boys are working as boy prostitutes in California cities. One San Francisco man was jailed after being charged with sexual involvement with boys as young as seven years of age in male prostitution and pornography. The charges included pimping, pandering, contributing to the delinquency of minors and molesting young boys.

A Farmington, Michigan Catholic priest was arrested on charges of second-degree criminal sexual conduct involving a fourteen-year-old boy. At the same time Oakland, California, police were investigating the kidnap murders of four young Oakland County boys who had been sexually molested.

After the defeat of the Gay-Rights ordinance in Miami, Sodomites danced in the streets and declared that they will come back stronger than ever, even singing the Civil Rights hymn, “We Shall Overcome.” My brother, Pastor Norman Pyle, in declaring that they have almost destroyed a good word, “gay,” suggests that we go back to calling them “queers.” When I was a boy, any men who were “effeminate” or who engaged in unnatural sexual activities were labeled either “queers,” “fairies” or “pansies.”

One of them smashed a cream pie in the face of Anita Bryant in a midwestern city. She continues to be threatened and harrassed, and had to cancel a news conference in New York as thousands of perverts (or “gay” sympathizers) picketed the NBC Today Show.

Johnny Carson and other entertainers take delight in ridiculing Anita Bryant and others who stand for normal deceny. After a pointed effort to embarrass and defeat Anita on the Phil Donahue show, she won the battle by boldly reading Romans 1:21-28 from the Bible as millions watched and cheered her on. Donahue couldn’t wait to conclude the program!

The booklet appears to still be available in its unaltered 1978 form, serving as a kind of historical text documenting what might be described as a colorful point of view.

This has always provided me with excellent entertainment value, the kind of thing that is nearly impossible to parody. According to Amazon there is a revised August 2000 edition. Perhaps it has a bonus section on the joy of conversion therapy.

This is why I defrost my fridge

My fridge is one of those that has the freezer-box inside the main fridge, with one door on the fridge itself then another smaller door inside for the freezer-box. A problem with this design is that the freezer-box tends to accumulate ice the same way Oprah accumulates brownies (Oprah, if you’re reading this, no offense. I like brownies, too). Eventually, the freezer-box becomes encased in ice, not unlike some hapless animal found frozen in a glacier 10,000 years ago. At this point the door is fused shut and the ice build up starts dripping onto the shelves below, turning the fridge into a miniature rain forest simulation.

It is annoying.

I defrost the fridge, let the ice melt enough to chip it away, sponge up the excess water and declare temporary victory yet again.

Then I take a picture of the collected ice in my sink to remind myself to not let it go quite so long next time. See below.

Ironically, I bought four ice cube trays the next day in order to make ice for my tender shin.

This is Vancouver: a sign of the times

Photo (click for full-size):

Web page

Relevant quote:

Everybody knows that Independent bookstores have been under pressure from the ‘big box’ operations for many years now and it is clear that it is not going to get any better; the likes of Chapters, and Amazon are ruthless in their drive for market share and we cannot compete on price anymore. The book itself is in the throes of a technological transformation and book readers undergoing a major demographic shift.

I remember when Duthies had their big store on Robson Street many years ago, with the spiral staircase leading downstairs to the fiction section. That store eventually closed and is now a high fashion boutique. A pretty rare sight on Robson, as you know! But Duthies took over the Bollums Books at the corner of Granville and Georgia and once again had a two-storey space, this time complete with escalators. Alas, it was not to be as the company went through some dramatic restructuring after their expansion that resulted in the chain being reduced to a single store on 4th Avenue, whose windows currently bear the notices seen above. I didn’t even realize the store had closed until a few weeks ago when someone mentioned it to me, so I’m as guilty as anyone in helping it shuffle off its retail coil.

In recent years I have bought books from Amazon and a few from Chapters. I have purchased ebooks from Sony’s website to use on my Sony Reader. The world of book selling has dramatically changed over the past decade and smaller general interest stores like Duthies will continue to be squeezed out. It’s unfortunate because quality bookstores add something valuable to a neighborhood that isn’t captured by a sprawling place like Chapters.

There will still be specialized book stores, I think, at least for awhile, whether it’s shops like Macleod’s Books with its teetering stacks of obscure used books or stores that cater to a particular genre or style. But even they may eventually feel the pressure of outlets like Amazon that also take in and sell used books and can cover every genre without needing the expense of a brick and mortar presence.

I suppose it’s like everything else. In the end, there is only change. It’s still a bit sad to see.

P.S. The six exclamation points still rankles me. That will be a pet peeve of mine for the next million years.

New glasses!

I got a new pair of glasses after determining that the current pair didn’t quite fit my more slender 2009 face. The frames are just a touch bigger than I would have liked but aren’t too bad. Thanks go to Nic for the picture, taken yesterday at Melriches. Getting a decent photo of me is something of a minor miracle.

me-10-17-09

And for a laugh, here’s a self-portrait I just took of me wearing my old glasses (not the ones I got in December 2008, the ones prior to that). True, I was 40 pounds heavier when I originally wore them, but still, it’s like any fashion sense I had was removed at some point by aliens as I slept blissfully unaware. The old glasses are, to use the technical term, “big ass”.

big-ass-glasses

New photo galleries, same old photos

I decided to ditch the Gallery2 plugin for my photos as it was a bit bulky and I didn’t care much for the way it integrated into WordPress. I’m now using NextGEN Gallery which is simpler but for my needs is more than sufficient. All of the old photos have been moved to the new system and I should have a few new galleries up soon™. You can check the existing photo galleries by clicking on the link cleverly named Photo Galleries.

When We Was Fat

This picture is from December 1999 or thereabouts, one of only a handful taken of me while I worked at the computer department of London Drugs. It was the last time I worked in retail. It will remain the last time I work in retail. I do not like retail. Don’t let the grin fool you. Pokemon just does that to you.

The two notable things here are:

1. No gray hair.
2. Fat. Do you think that shirt I’m wearing is kind of baggy? It’s not, really. I just had it mostly untucked to cover up the fact that my midsection looked like I had ingested a tire intact.

ld-pokemon-cropped

Here’s the full uncropped version of the same photo (click to enlarge). You can see the festive holiday decorations (a single red bow) and Viewsonic 17 inch monitors were going for less than $600. Such a deal. One day I’ll write about how I was forced to quit my job there and less than a week later three people in the department got fired. Good times all around!

ld-pokemon-big

How to read this blog, Part 1

How to Read This Blog, Part 1
by Creole Ned

This site is divided into six categories:

  1. Dating
  2. Gaming
  3. General
  4. Health and Fitness
  5. Photos
  6. Writing

Every post has at least one category attached to it. The content of each category is as follows:

1. Dating There are no entries for this because I am writing about my dating experiences elsewhere, therefore this category should have been removed but I forgot. Oops.

2. Gaming In which I share my gaming experiences or write about games like roughly one billion other people on the web do. As I don’t game as much as before, these posts are becoming less frequent. If you are not a gamer there is probably only a 50% chance you will find my insights worth reading. I arrived at 50% by just making a number up, kind of like a review score!

3. General The inevitable catch-all category. Random nonsense about life, media and anything else that doesn’t fit into the other categories.

4. Health and Fitness Currently I lift dumbbells three times a week and jog three times a week and it is here where I chronicle my hi-jinks, ranging from pulled muscles to getting rocks thrown at me by ill-mannered children. I also chat a bit from time to time about diet and food choices. If these things don’t set your heart a-flutter, safely ignore!

5. Photos When I add images to my gallery I post about them under this heading. However, I am currently debating over how to add photos to the site and my current hodgepodge method means I’m not adding nearly as many as I could. On the one hand, entertainingly bad pictures from my youth are going unshared. On the other hand…well, the exact same thing.

6. Writing Here I talk occasionally about the process of writing and books I have read. Mainly I discuss my ongoing writing projects, whether they are exercises, short stories or one of my novels.

Now that you know more about each category you can better choose how to read through this rich tapestry I call my blog. Or just skip all this and skim for saucy words like “hooters” and “malfeasance”.