How not to do DLC and a lament on IAP and other current gaming acronyms

In my continuing ‘How Not to’ gaming series, here’s how not to do DLC (Downloadable Content) for a game:

Stamp it out so frequently that you overwhelm and confuse the casual player and create resentment in the hardcore players who feel compelled to purchase all of it to have a ‘complete’ experience.

I give you Exhibit A:

Dungeon Defenders

I would not be surprised if Dungeon Defenders is one of the games that prompted Valve to offer a ‘SHOW DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT’ checkbox for its list of new releases. Released on October 18, 2011 the game has 20 DLC items available (two of which are free). Purchasing them all will set you back $45.82. The game itself costs $14.99. Of course, all of the DLC is optional — the game works just fine without it and some of it is pure fluff, things like costume packs and the like. But that’s still equivalent to new content every 10 days and while the inclination may be to think more is better, it’s often not, especially in a game that offers a solid co-op experience where not having the right DLC can lock other players out.

This seems to be the future for at least some games, though. Whether it’s a free iOS game with In App Purchase (IAP) to flesh out/further the experience, Facebook games that require you to pony up real money to make real ‘progress’ (the classic example being Farmville) or games like Dungeon Defenders with a relatively low price buttressed by a ton of DLC, more developers and publishers are opting for a model where you get some of the game up front for little or no money and have to pay to get the rest — with the final price often ending up higher than the old-fashioned retail box that gave you the whole thing at time of purchase.

It makes the days of Epic giving away gobs of free content for its Unreal Tournament games seem positively quaint. I’m not ready to cry doom or shake my cane at these young whippersnappers just yet, though, but it’s a trend that definitely bears watching.

How not to play a single player game

A week or so ago I decided to actually start playing one of those single player computer games. You know, like they used to make back in the old days before the Internet and MMOs and Farmville. For this bold adventure I chose Dark Messiah of Might and Magic, a slightly older title I had picked up for a pittance ($2.49) during last winter’s Steam sale.

I set all the controls to my personal and wacky preferences, then dove in. The opening level serves as a tutorial, instructing you on the basics of fighting (tip: kick, a lot), climbing ropes, mantling, using your handy night vision and so on. At the end I am treated to a cutscene in which the wizard Phenrig (who narrates your journey through the tutorial area) instructs you on your task, which is to journey to the city of Stonehelm and deliver a magic crystal because Plot Device {magic crystal}. Accompanying the protagonist will be a slinky spirit named Xana because this is a video game and the designers are obligated to include a ‘sexy babe’. As long as she doesn’t get in my way, I’m good.

I have not saved at this point because it’s just the tutorial. I expect the game to auto-save after the cutscene, when the story begins proper.

Instead the game crashes.

I have not tried playing since.

This is one of the reasons my backlog of single player games is immense.

I’m going to try Portal 2 next.

The dusty run

Location: Burnaby Lake, CCW
Distance: 11.02 km
Weather: High cloud, some sun
Temp: 14ºC
Wind: light
Calories burned: 770
Average pace: 5:26/km
Total distance to date: 1212.06 km

Another run, another personal best for the year to date, another ‘500 km’ completed according to Joan Benoit Samuelson (she has congratulated me on the last four runs, which, if accurate, would mean I had completed 2,000 km. As you may suspect, this is not entirely accurate) and more sore feet. So mostly good news.

Although it started out mild, high cloud and a strong breeze convinced me to wear a long-sleeved shirt for the run. This was the right call for the first part of the run but overall I’d have been fine in a regular t-shirt.

With the sore feet it went like this: no real issues on the walk to the lake. Once at the lake the right foot was pretty much fine but the left foot was sore. It took several km to get past the initial soreness to where the bloodflow/endorphins/magicke started kicking in and I could more effectively ignore it. This is reflected in my slow first km — 5:17. However, I hit my plateau fairly quickly (I don’t recall the last instance where I posted the same time for three different km) and ran steady from there forward, so I ended up two seconds faster than Wednesday and five seconds faster than Monday. The incremental improvements are nice.

Knowing from the last run that the feet would be feeling it more once I resumed walking I pushed on for an extra km, turning in my first 11K run since last summer. Even better, I shaved a second off my 10K pace in the process. The walk back was a bit of a trial but once more my feet recovered quickly after I got home and was able to get off them. I’m hopeful that a weekend of relative inactivity will go a good way toward the healing process.

Chart:

Apr 27 Apr 25 Apr 23 Apr 20 Apr 18 Apr 16 Apr 6 Apr 4 Apr 2
1 km 5:17 5:06 4:59 5:09 5:12 5:15 5:12 5:17 5:03
2 km 5:21 5:15 5:11 5:12 5:21 5:23 5:19 5:19 5:17
3 km 5:23 5:19 5:17 5:18 5:25 5:31 5:23 5:24 5:25
4 km 5:22 5:20 5:20 5:22 5:28 5:36 5:25 5:26 5:30
5 km 5:23 5:22 5:22 5:25 5:29 5:41 5:26 5:27 5:33
6 km 5:23 5:24 5:22 5:27 5:30 5:45 5:28 5:29 5:37
7 km 5:24 5:25 5:25 5:29 5:31 5:49 5:29 5:31 5:41
8 km 5:25 5:26 5:27 5:33 5:32 5:53 5:30 5:33 5:46
9 km 5:26 5:28 5:29 5:35 5:33 5:57 5:32 5:35 5:50
10 km 5:26 5:28 5:31 5:37 5:33 5:59 5:33 5:36 5:53
11 km 5:25 — — — — — — — —

Exhibit C on why I do not write poetry

(You can see Exhibits A and B here and here, respectively.)

Back in ancient times I wrote poetry because I had to.

Which is to say in my college creative writing class one term consisted of writing poetry. Though we had computers even back then (with snazzy dot matrix printers) I chose to write most of my poetry on one of the clunky typewriters in the library. The typewriters were all in a sealed room for obvious reasons. Just one of those 50 pound behemoths clacked thunderously, let alone a room of them. With my typing style (three fingers, strongly) the noise level was that much higher. BANG BANG BANG POETRY.

This is a scanned copy of the original. An unfinished draft of another poem called The Island is visible on the other side of the paper. As with most of my poetry, Pretty Bunnies and Happy Flowers was written in a single session with little thought and no attention paid to rhyme, meter or really anything that a poet should pay attention to. It was also not one of my submitted projects, probably because I knew better than to cultivate an unwanted reputation as a weirdo by letting others read it. Twenty-three years later the poem strikes me as less creepy and more stupid, a mockery of ‘serious’ poetry, which was my secret way of admitting I couldn’t write the stuff worth beans!

The soggy gosling run (not Ryan Gosling)

Location: Burnaby Lake, CW
Distance: 10.03 km
Weather: Rain, light to heavy
Temp: 12ºC
Wind: light
Calories burned: 701
Average pace: 5:28/km
Total distance to date: 1201.4 km

The good news: the new shoes continue to hold up well, even in squishy wet weather like today’s run featured.
The bad news: my feet are still sore.
The better news: this isn’t affecting my times.

I hit two milestones today. I have now crossed the 1200 km mark with the Nike+, finishing today’s run at 1201.4 km. I also had my best run of the year, finishing under 5:30 for the first time, ending with an average pace of 5:28/km.

It was already raining when I headed out so I wore a long sleeved t-shirt and it worked fine. The rain eased up to a light shower partway through, so it wasn’t so bad. To keep the iPod nano functional (the clickwheel may be innovative but it doesn’t take much for it to stop working) I put in in a plastic baggie then put it in my shorts pocket. This actually worked!

My feet were sore again and it bothers me but not enough to slow me down. With the left foot in particular I had to make an effort to keep the toes splayed out flat instead of bunching them up. After getting off the feet for a bit post-run it doesn’t take them long to feel okay again so I’m hoping they’ll toughen up/recover fairly quickly.

As for the goslings, there were two geese families on the trail. The first I came across around a corner where the trail abuts the lake directly — they were at the water’s edge and heading in. The mother briefly did that COME AT ME BRO thing but I dashed by too quickly to cause much concern. The second set I saw from a distance and I eased off my pace a bit so as to not alarm them. I don’t know why I did this as I doubt the geese had a clue what I was doing, I was just a scary biped running toward their precious young. They ambled a bit to the side but did not otherwise panic.

Given the weather, it is no surprise I covered 4 km before I saw another person. What was surprising is it wasn’t a fellow jogger, just someone out getting drenched on a walk.

Chart:

Apr 25 Apr 23 Apr 20 Apr 18 Apr 16 Apr 6 Apr 4 Apr 2
1 km 5:06 4:59 5:09 5:12 5:15 5:12 5:17 5:03
2 km 5:15 5:11 5:12 5:21 5:23 5:19 5:19 5:17
3 km 5:19 5:17 5:18 5:25 5:31 5:23 5:24 5:25
4 km 5:20 5:20 5:22 5:28 5:36 5:25 5:26 5:30
5 km 5:22 5:22 5:25 5:29 5:41 5:26 5:27 5:33
6 km 5:24 5:22 5:27 5:30 5:45 5:28 5:29 5:37
7 km 5:25 5:25 5:29 5:31 5:49 5:29 5:31 5:41
8 km 5:26 5:27 5:33 5:32 5:53 5:30 5:33 5:46
9 km 5:28 5:29 5:35 5:33 5:57 5:32 5:35 5:50
10 km 5:28 5:31 5:37 5:33 5:59 5:33 5:36 5:53

The New Shoes run

Location: Burnaby Lake, CCW
Distance: 10.04 km
Weather: High cloud
Temp: 14ºC
Wind: light
Calories burned: 702
Average pace: 5:31/km
Total distance to date: 1191.01 km

Today was the first day running with my New Shoes. I am tagging this post so I will be able to track how many kilometers I end up putting on them but I think it’s probably safe that regular running will make replacing them in six months a reasonable proposition.

With high cloud, a light breeze and mild temperatures I opted for my first run wearing a t-shirt. This was the right call as it was pleasantly warm throughout, though it cooled a bit on the walk back. The Brunette River trail in particular felt almost muggy heading toward the lake.

My feet were still sore going in so I knew I wouldn’t get a completely accurate feel for the new shoes but I ended up turning in my best performance of the year, with a 5:31/km average and a first km that broke the 5:00/km mark for the first time in quite awhile, coming in at 4:59/km. I was not trying to run harder than usual (that marathon vs. sprint thing) but hey, new shoes, you get excited. I think they’re going to work out fine.

I felt the ghost of a cramp a few times but moderated my pace and came out fine there. There was a lone goose on the edge of the trail at one point but he merely took a single step to the side rather than hissing and acting like I’d just eaten his entire family for dinner.

I’m hoping that with the new shoes my feet will recover quickly and I’ll have a better assessment of how they are handling but first impressions are decent.

Chart:

Apr 23 Apr 20 Apr 18 Apr 16 Apr 6 Apr 4 Apr 2
1 km 4:59 5:09 5:12 5:15 5:12 5:17 5:03
2 km 5:11 5:12 5:21 5:23 5:19 5:19 5:17
3 km 5:17 5:18 5:25 5:31 5:23 5:24 5:25
4 km 5:20 5:22 5:28 5:36 5:25 5:26 5:30
5 km 5:22 5:25 5:29 5:41 5:26 5:27 5:33
6 km 5:22 5:27 5:30 5:45 5:28 5:29 5:37
7 km 5:25 5:29 5:31 5:49 5:29 5:31 5:41
8 km 5:27 5:33 5:32 5:53 5:30 5:33 5:46
9 km 5:29 5:35 5:33 5:57 5:32 5:35 5:50
10 km 5:31 5:37 5:33 5:59 5:33 5:36 5:53

And the city shall not burn

You know Vancouver city officials were secretly breathing a sigh of relief when the LA Kings beat the Canucks 2-1 in overtime tonight to eliminate the Canucks in the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The Canucks played pretty badly to start the series and ended up in a 3-0 hole, something few teams climb out of and there was to be no miracle this time, either.

On the plus side, a short playoff run means people will turn to other things to entertain themselves this summer instead of rioting and pillaging the downtown core. So…lose-win, I guess!

I am excited about new shoes

According to this article, running shoes are generally expected to last 300-500 miles or up to six months. The pair of New Balance shoes I am using are the same ones I started with back in May 2009 (three years ago) and I’ve put about 1200 km on them (roughly 745 miles).

Which is to say I am way past the point where they should have been replaced. With my feet actually getting sore in the last two runs (the first time this has happened in three years of jogging) it was time to finally get some new shoes.

By coincidence, Mountain Equipment Coop had just sent out a newsletter highlighting running gear and when I followed the link a vibrant pair of New Balance trail running shoes were staring back at me. I went to the store, tried on a pair of New Balance size 8½ MT110s and fell in love with the stubby soles. As a bonus, the laces are not three times longer than they need to be. The laces are orange and bright enough that the inclination is to avoid making direct eye contact with them.

Unlike my current shoes, these are designed specifically for trail use, which should help with the somewhat uneven terrain I typically face. Also unlike my current shoes, these are a more minimalist design, with less padding and bulk. They are noticeably lighter, something else I should appreciate.

I shall be trying them out on Monday.

The ‘it only hurts when I run’ run

Location: Burnaby Lake, CCW
Distance: 10.02 km
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 13ºC
Wind: light
Calories burned: 700
Average pace: 5:37/km
Total distance to date: 1180.97 km

The good news: no hail!

Better news: It was mild and sunny, perfect conditions for running.

Bad news: both of my feet were sore and cranky by the end of the run. It actually hurt more to walk after so I was half-tempted to keep running home (that would have added 4+ km so I ultimately decided against it).

I am almost certain that the soreness in my feet is not due to last Sunday’s hike, doing weird things to my feet while I sleep or a result of alien visitation. What I do think is a distinct possibility is that my trusty New Balance shoes, which I have been using since May 2009, may finally and officially be wearing out. On the Nike+ alone I have tracked 1180 km on them and I ran from May to September 2009 before getting the Nike+ setup, so that’s probably enough to put me past 1200 km. On one pair of shoes.

So getting new shoes is a top priority. I’m not going to try those wacky Five Fingers or a variant because at this point I’m more interested in getting back to peak condition than having my feet cry even more but it’s an option for further down the road (or trail).

As for the actual run, I conducted a bit of an experiment and while the end result is one I’m not happy with, it was not unexpected, so I consider it a success.

If you look at the chart below, specifically my most recent 5:33/km runs you’ll see that my pace is slower in the first half but flattens out nicely in the second. Today I tried — and succeeded — in bringing up my times in the first half of the run. I could feel my lungs working harder and the vague threat of a cramp here and there. By doing so, however, I tapped out my reserves for the second half and while the pace flattened, it did so at longer intervals, leading to a slower pace of 5:37/km. From this point forward I think I’m going to stick to starting at a moderate pace and build toward a stronger finish.

Overall, I am pleased that I was able to complete another week of runs without any major incidents.

Chart:

Apr 20 Apr 18 Apr 16 Apr 6 Apr 4 Apr 2
1 km 5:09 5:12 5:15 5:12 5:17 5:03
2 km 5:12 5:21 5:23 5:19 5:19 5:17
3 km 5:18 5:25 5:31 5:23 5:24 5:25
4 km 5:22 5:28 5:36 5:25 5:26 5:30
5 km 5:25 5:29 5:41 5:26 5:27 5:33
6 km 5:27 5:30 5:45 5:28 5:29 5:37
7 km 5:29 5:31 5:49 5:29 5:31 5:41
8 km 5:33 5:32 5:53 5:30 5:33 5:46
9 km 5:35 5:33 5:57 5:32 5:35 5:50
10 km 5:37 5:33 5:59 5:33 5:36 5:53

The doctor is in (Richmond)

Today I went to the doctor to discuss the bunch o’ blood work I had done. I knew there wasn’t going to be catastrophic news because they obligingly call you to come in if the lab returns results stamped with something like PATIENT HAS THREE DAYS TO LIVE.

I made the trek to Richmond via the still sexy Expo Line and the decidedly unsexy Canada Line. There’s not much you can do to dress up a subway. It’s even more annoying in that most of it is cut and cover so it meanders all over the place to follow the road above it.

As is usually the case I arrived at the office early and had to wait awhile before the doctor came in. I like my doctor. He’s friendly and smart. He’s also older than me so when he gives the ‘men of your age’ speech it’s always somewhat ruefully.

The overall news was good — no hideous diseases or deficiencies that would require hospitalization/surgery/medication/alien intervention. The scare that came out of an April 2008 visit to a walk-in clinic (‘You’re one year away from Type II diabetes”) is gone with my much more sensible diet. My combined bad/good cholesterol number is fine and I don’t appear to be deficient in anything else, blood-wise.

One of two areas of concern was my bad cholesterol level — it is a bit higher than what would be considered optimal. The doctor figures this is likely a genetic predisposition and is nothing to be concerned about. He gave me a number to call for a free consultation with a government dietician if I’m concerned I may be eating wrong and horrible things. The other concern was regarding how efficiently my kidney is flushing out the things it’s supposed to — the jargon got a bit technical for me. Basically he said that as you age the efficiency decreases by about 1 per year and while my current level is fine, in 40 years it would be at a critical level. I’d also be 87 then, so it’s quite possible I wouldn’t give a flying fig about it, either. The advice here was to take kidney-friendly medication when needed and to monitor it year by year.

And that was about it. I’m scheduled for a full physical next month so we’ll find out if I have nutty blood pressure and whatnot. I’m hoping for perfectly boring results because my health is one part of my life I prefer to be dull.

The “oh hail” run

Location: Burnaby Lake, CW
Distance: 10.07 km
Weather: Rain, heavy at time, hail, cloud
Temp: 11ºC
Wind: moderate with some gusts
Calories burned: 703
Average pace: 5:33/km
Total distance to date: 1170.94 km

The weather today was looking unsettled. For this time of year that is not unusual. Forty-five minutes before my run the sky was brightening and the sun was poking out. Just prior to heading out it was the opposite. As I walked along the Brunette River trail the sun came out again, albeit briefly. The sky remained overcast until I reached about the midway point of the run.

At that time the sky opened up and it began raining hard. It quickly then changed to hail, which I’ve never run in before. The hail persisted for about 2 km before changing back to straight rain and the rain continued all the way home, though it eventually tapered off to a light shower by the end of the run itself.

I am glad I wore a long-sleeved shirt for the run. The hail wasn’t Texas-sized golf balls or anything but I could feel them pelting off me as I kept up the pace. I can’t say I’m eager to experience more of the same any time soon.

As happens during a deluge, my iPod got a bit wet, more so since I did not have it in its protective case. I knew what this would lead to and sure enough, at the end of the 10K the slippery clickwheel would not cooperate. I ended up running a total of 10.7 km before I could finally stop the workout.

The good news is the extra run time was not a problem. With Tuesday’s rest I was feeling much less sore and more energetic for the run. I went in with the mindset of running a marathon, not a sprint and paced myself deliberately. By the 4K mark I reached a comfort zone that allowed me to continue without losing much time at all. I ended right back where I was on the last Friday before hurting my back, with an average pace of 5:33/km. I am pleased by this.

I was less pleased by my left foot feeling a bit sore. I’m not sure if I twisted it in my sleep or what it was but it was an annoyance throughout. It didn’t slow me down and I don’t think it’s anything serious but it bears mentioning.

Chart:

Apr 18 Apr 16 Apr 6 Apr 4 Apr 2 Mar 23 Mar 19 Mar 16 Mar 7
1 km 5:12 5:15 5:12 5:17 5:03 5:13 5:10 5:08 5:06
2 km 5:21 5:23 5:19 5:19 5:17 5:22 5:20 5:22 5:22
3 km 5:25 5:31 5:23 5:24 5:25 5:28 5:26 5:32 5:30
4 km 5:28 5:36 5:25 5:26 5:30 5:34 5:31 5:37 5:33
5 km 5:29 5:41 5:26 5:27 5:33 5:37 5:34 5:42 5:35
6 km 5:30 5:45 5:28 5:29 5:37 5:40 5:36 5:47 5:38
7 km 5:31 5:49 5:29 5:31 5:41 5:43 5:38 5:49 5:40
8 km 5:32 5:53 5:30 5:33 5:46 5:46 5:41 5:51 5:42
9 km 5:33 5:57 5:32 5:35 5:50 5:49 5:43 5:52 5:45
10 km 5:33 5:59 5:33 5:36 5:53 5:50 5:44 5:53 5:47

Smartphone: good for inspecting dodgy sour cream

I am far from the first person to do this but I’ve done it a few times now so I am recording it for posterity.

I used to be able to hold things right up to my nose and keep focus on them. Then again, I also used to be in grade 3. Time marches on.

When I couldn’t quite make out the expiry date on a tub of sour cream (and who wants to eat sourer cream?) I took a photo of the tub using my phone, then zoomed the image in to read the date, as seen below.

Sadly it turned out the date really was kind of illegible all along.

The best I could figure was August 28, which at the time would not have been past the expiry. I passed, anyway, just to be safe.

See? With age you may lose focal strength but you gain wisdom.