random weirdness

I still find these weird things groovy

As a kid, I loved these things. As an adult, I still do, even if my approach to them now is more…nuanced.

When I was nine years old, I remember watching Chariots of the Gods in Duncan’s sole movie theatre. It was cheesy good fun. Someone threw their bucket of popcorn at the screen. Not a true believer, I guess. I also watched Mysterious Monsters in 1976, which, if I remember accurately, imagined Bigfoot as being kind of a rude jerk to people, crashing into their cabins and making a mess.

These aliens and monsters undoubtedly tap into some part of my psyche that loves the mysterious and unexplained for reasons I, uh, can’t explain. I mean, why is red someone’s favourite colour?

Anywhere, here’s the list of the weird things I still find groovy:

  • Bigfoot/Yeti. Will also answer to Sasquatch/Abominable Snowman.
  • The Loch Ness Monster and other similar creatures, like the more local Ogopogo.
  • Ghosts, poltergeists and the like. Boo!
  • UFOs or as they are often called now, UAPs. To a lesser degree: aliens [guy from Ancient Aliens gesturing].
  • Cryptoids. These are really adjacent to the first two items.

There’s other wacky stuff as a kid that I found interesting, but more in a horror story kind of way, like:

  • Witches, vampires and the like
  • Demons, and all that (the Satanic panic of my youth was something I found highly amusing)

Now, as someone pretending to be a relatively sophisticated adult, do I actually believe in any of these things? Not really.

BUT.

I am willing to entertain the notion that some of these things may exist. It does make me wonder why we have yet to uncover incontrovertible proof, though. Also, it’s hella (as they say) easy to fake photos, video and other evidence these days. Also also, there’s about a billion ghost hunting and UFO shows around, which kind of dilutes the mystery and turns it into Product.

But in the end, it doesn’t really matter to me. The best part about a mystery is the mystery. Once it’s solved, you shrug and move on. I don’t want to shrug, I want to revel in the delicious and improbable possibility of a big stinky humanoid wandering the forests of the Pacific Northwest and who isn’t just a tall hippie opposed to bathing on principle. Like Mulder, I want to believe.

I’m willing to settle for being entertained.

What is on this man’s head?

This is from a Costco ad. I have no idea what is on this guy’s head. It tasks me.

EDIT: I checked the Costco site and found out that this is a “Theradome PRO LH80 Laser Hair Growth Device.” That doesn’t seem snake oily at all!

Also, every time I read it, I see “laser hair”.

EDIT, Part 2: I had to ask an AI image generator what laser hair would look like:

Things you wrote that make you go, “Hmm”

I use the Drafts app to capture notes on the go and my typical use case is to invoke it through a complication on my Apple Watch. I tap the mic icon, then dictate whatever witty/clever thought I want to record. Sometimes the voice dictation is not completely accurate, but I can usually get the gist of what I meant from context. I found the note below in Drafts and:

  1. I have no recollection of making this note
  2. I have no idea what it means. Bad voice transcription? Fever dream? Who can say? It feels like something an erratic AI would compose, with actual meaning just out of reach.

A mystery for the ages.

11 leaven 30 you might have a talk tonight 11 leaves 30 you might have a talk tonight

I sat beside Mitchell on the SkyTrain today

I don’t know Mitchell, but I do know he was sitting next to me on the SkyTrain this morning. I know this without having spoken to him and without interacting with him in any way at all.

How did I know his name? Was he wearing a name tag? Did someone nearby shout out to him, “Yo Mitchell dawg, what’s up?”

The answer to these questions is no.

I found out his name because I was writing a blog post on my phone. Yes, it was the magic (and menace) of technology.

The Ulysses app allows me to compose WordPress posts and send them magically to my blog to be published. On the iPhone this is done through the export function. But the first time you use it, the default is to open the share sheet. One of the options that appears here is AirDrop, Apple’s way of allowing iPhone users to easily share files.

And lo, there was Mitchell’s iPhone. He was indeed using his iPhone. I thought about sharing my blog post just to see how he’d react, but opted not to. But it also made me think how people could use AirDrop to creep on others.

Scenario: Unrelated man and woman sit beside each other on train, both have AirDrop enabled. Man opens up Photos app and goes to the share sheet after selecting a particularly appalling example of his manhood. He then opts to AirDrop it to the woman sitting next to him. She puts his phone in a place one might have considered physically impossible.

She could just choose not to accept, but you still get a preview of the image, so Unwitting Commuter is still going to see something grossbuckets before declining. I should test this sometime to see just how it works with someone you theoretically don’t know. With a picture of a kitten, you pervs.

Anyway, now I’m kind of wondering how Mitchell’s day is going.

A strange walk

Today I woke up with an immense pressure headache.

I also went to bed the previous night the same way, though the pressure was not quite as immense then.

I’ve also been stuffed up the past few days so perhaps this is a renewed mega-allergy attack for an allergy that I have yet to identify but may be associated with pollen or other spring-related junk in the air. Whatever it is, it made me feel almost dizzy just to stand up. Bending down to tie my shoes was like diving in a submarine to the depths where The Great Old Ones await.

I opted to take the day off work then self-medicated with some Advil. After letting it kick in I decided to get outside, thinking that some fresh air might help and the exercise (probably) couldn’t hurt.

I tracked the walk, which took me to Burnaby Lake, around it and then back, a total of over 18 km. My pace over the first few km was in line with recent walks, starting around 9:30/km but then something strange happened (this is the first strange part of the walk). My pace picked up and continued to pick up. Save for the final km, when I finally started feeling weary, I stayed at or under 9:00/km for an overall average pace of 8:54/km. This is my best walk in months and rather unexpected. Even stranger (part 2) was that my right leg and foot (and my left foot, for that matter) felt fine throughout. I had a brief twinge in the right ankle around the 8 km mark but it lasted only a few moments and never returned. The leg continued to feel fine post-walk. It feels fine now.

What was so different about this walk compared to the others where the leg and foot have felt cranky and sore?

I wore my running shoes. The color migrating Hokas, to be precise. And I think that was enough. The Hokas may not retain their color well but they do provide a noticeable level of support. My normal walking shoes are Scarpa light trail hiking shoes. With my orthotics inserted in them they are eminently wearable but without them my left foot will start crying about me being a mean-spirited barbarian sometimes within mere minutes of walking out wearing them. Could the shoes really make that much difference? Possibly.

I’m going to wear my new Brooks Cascadia shoes for the rest of the week and see how they compare. Hopefully the results prove interesting, just not ancient Chinese curse interesting.

The third and final strange part of the walk came near the end. I had just exited the Brunette River trail onto North Road. There was a car in the curb lane on the bridge facing south with its hazard lights on. The rear bumper showed signs of damage, presumably from a rear-end collision. There appeared to be bits of the car on the road, under the bumper. None of this is strange because, as they say, accidents happen.

The strange part is there was no sign of the other presumed vehicle in this presumed accident. And no sign of the driver. Or any drivers. Or emergency vehicles. Or anything or anyone else that might be related to this looks-lik-an-accident. Just a slightly damaged car sitting in traffic by itself.

I got out of there quick, not just because the strangeness perturbed me, but because a car sitting on a busy road as rush hour commenced seems like a good way for more accidents to happen.