seasons

Summer tips for summer fun

  • Move to Australia. It’s winter there! Just try to avoid the poison animals. So maybe don’t move there.
  • Dig a hole in your backyard that’s about 10 feet deep, where it’s always nice and cool. Convince Amazon to deliver your sunscreen there. I’m kidding, don’t use Amazon, they’re a terrible company.
  • Remember to stop activities before heatstroke, not after.
  • Sand is your friend. I mean, it’s not, but if you go to the beach, you’re going to have to pretend.
  • Notice how trees have all their leaves in the summer? Trees are your friends (unlike sand, which just gets in your shorts). Touch trees all summer, to keep in the shade and rekindle the primitive soul within. But mostly to keep out of the relentlessly cruel hot sun.
  • Remember how winter is six months of steady rain? It doesn’t matter that winter is only three months of the year, it’s still six months of rain. Think about how you are getting a nice sexy tan now instead of plodding through endless puddles from endless rain.
  • Heat domes are still rare! This is not a tip, but is helpful in managing expectations when people start going on about how it’s too hot. Manage those expectations! Everyone loves the, “Well, actually, it could be hotter…” guy! That guy could be you. Also works for all other genders. Note: Everyone may not actually love this person.
  • Do not listen to the 1992 album Summer in Paradise by The Beach Boys. Do you really want to hear Mike Love rap? (You do not.)

October cat

Yes, when all else fails, it’s time for cats. Fortunately, the internet is filled with them.

The pleasant fall weather is looking to pause for a few days beginning tomorrow. Pausing is still better than six months of The Rains, though.

The answer is 42

red purple and yellow tulip fields
Tulips means spring. It’s the law. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

In this case, the question is: How many days until spring?

This also means we have about one more month when snow is possible, after which it becomes exceedingly unlikely through mid and late March and all but impossible by April.

Though we have had snow in April.

Also, it’s only 34 days–just over a month–until accursed Pacific Standard Time gives way to better Pacific Daylight Time. This is all to say that I’ve had my fill of winter, and bring on the warmer weather and longer days.

That is all.

The definitive ranking of seasons, 2020 edition

While 2020 has been a benighted hellscape, the seasons have pretty much come and gone as they normally would.

Here is my indisputable ranking of seasons from best to worst. INDISPUTABLE.

  1. Summer. The days are long. It’s warm but rarely too hot (I mean, people in Death Valley may feel differently, but in the Lower Mainland the really hot days amount to a handful per summer). Everything is lush and green. There is something soothing about walking through a park on a pleasantly warm summer afternoon and something almost magical about watching dusk come late as you sit outside, enjoying the warmth of the evening. Summer is the best.
  2. Spring. Spring is like a low rent version of summer. The best part is the part that’s closest to summer, in June. But it’s also nice for a few other reasons: The switch back to Daylight Saving Time restores actual light to early evening. The trees begin to bud and flower. The brown of the world begins to change back to green. It gets warmer. You no longer have to wear three layers to go outside.
  3. Fall. The first part of fall is basically the last part of summer, which is aces. This is followed by a transition period that I would actually rank higher than most of spring, where the weather can be pretty nice and the trees look spectacular as leaves start to change color. Some years this period only seems to last a few weeks, then it gets colder, wetter and of course, the switch back to Standard Time, murdering the chance of any outdoor activities in the evening that can’t be done in the dark for months. Fall also gets negative points for leading into the worst season of all…
  4. Winter. Come on, this is no contest. Winter sucks. It’s cold, it rains all the time, the days are stupidly short, the landscape is bleak and barren and there’s always a chance of snow. Winter only exists to make the other seasons look good in comparison (people in Death Valley may feel differently).

After writing this post, I thought to myself, I’m pretty sure I’ve ranked the seasons before–and I have! Here’s the post, in which I pretty much say the same things, often down to the exact same phrasing: Seasons in the sun (and rain and wind and occasionally snow). Like the seasons, my posts keep coming back every year (or five).

Things I would not expect in late October

  • So much sunshine (not a complaint)
  • Being able to walk comfortably outside wearing only a t-shirt (well, and pants, too)
  • Flowers still in bloom (I never paid much attention to their seasonality until I started taking pictures this year)
  • Snow (I’m not expecting any to happen this October, though I remember at least one Halloween with a few idle flakes falling on the trick or treaters)
  • Valentine’s Day promotions (still hasn’t happened–yet)

Weird rain

Weird in that today is the first time in a long while that we have had fairly steady rain during the day.

School kids were probably fuming. This is the first weekend since classes started.

Other signs of impending fall:

  • The swimming pool at Hume Park is closed for the season, and has been drained. The slide is still in place, so if someone really wanted to, they could climb up it and slide down into a nearly four foot deep concrete hole. Probably not recommended.
  • Likewise, the bubble over the tennis courts at the Burnaby Tennis Club (which I can see on my runs at Burnaby Lake) has been put back in place. It looks like a big oval marshmallow. Mmm. marshmallows. People would have been able to play tennis today because it’s up, so good timing there.
  • The sunset tonight was at 7:37 p.m. The post-dinner walks are going to be spooky pretty soon.
  • It never got past 20ºC today. In fact I don’t think it got past 16. Brr, relatively speaking.

I’m not complaining about the change in weather, mind you, as we need the rain and despite a slow start in July, the summer has been pretty dry overall. Still, I always lament this season’s passing. The world just feels so alive and vibrant in the summer.

I will now count the days until next summer. Actually, thanks to a Google search, I now know it’s 265 days. I’m undecided on whether this precise level of knowledge is a good or bad thing.