General

The polling stations across the country have closed, the majority of ballots have been tallied and finally the decades-long election of 2015 (okay, it was really 78 days, but that’s still about twice as long as most Canadian elections) is over.

The Liberals have surprisingly won a majority government and Justin Trudeau will be our 23rd prime minster. I don’t like their stance on Bill C-51 and am highly skeptical that they will bring in promised electoral reform (especially with a majority) but on balance I think a lot of their policies are sensible and they deserve a chance to govern.

More importantly, Stephen Harper, a sour socially conservative control freak seemingly interested only in amassing power while debasing every federal institution he turned his eye to, will no longer be prime minster. Good riddance to the man whose greatest contribution to this country was the determined dismantling of everything that makes Canada a tolerant, fair and generous nation. At the same time he took to the stage to offer his “concession” speech, an aide confirmed in a written statement that he would be resigning as Conservative leader tomorrow–something he never mentioned in his speech because he was too busy congratulating himself on what a great job he’d done and shame we didn’t re-elect his party to government again.

Anyway, I’m glad this election is over and I’m glad Harper is gone. May we never see another party leader like him again.

Now I can get back to important issues, like amusing cat images.

After a campaign lasting approximately five generations, the federal election of 2015 is finally coming to an end in two days or October 19th, as it is better known.

A couple of nutty things have transpired very recently.

The Globe and Mail endorsed the Conservatives. This is no surprise, as all major newspapers in Canada are utterly beholden to the Conservatives thanks to the concentration of media ownership in the hands of a very few (and very conservative) owners. More surprising, however, is The Globe and Mail endorsed the Conservatives but specifically didn’t endorse Stephen Harper.

I know, you’re thinking, “You big kidder! Now link to The Onion article you’re referring to.” But here it is, at a genuine, not-hacked-by-political-agent-provocateurs Globe and Mail website: The Tories deserve another mandate–but Stephen Harper doesn’t.

Canada needs a change. It also needs the maintenance of many aspects of the economic status quo. What Canada needs, then, is a Conservative government that is no longer the Harper government.

This is said after admitting that both the Liberals and NDP wouldn’t really change much in terms of economic policy (perceived by The Globe and Mail as a good thing) but also aren’t headed by a dark Satanic taskmaster like Harper (perceived as a bad thing).

It is not time for the Conservatives to go. But it is time for Mr. Harper to take his leave.

You can almost hear the Godwinning. “If only Hitler had stepped down, the Nazis would have been pretty OK!”

His [Stephen Harper’s] party deserves to be re-elected. But after Oct. 19, he should quickly resign.

Here’s a tiny insight for The Globe and Mail editorial board: If the Conservatives are re-elected, Harper is not going to resign. To think or pretend otherwise is to demonstrate the political sophistication of a kumquat. And I say that with apologies to any kumquats reading this.

I won’t argue against the idea that the Conservatives–and all of Canada–would be better off without Harper as their leader or as our PM. But endorsing the party and not its leader, a leader who has been the most controlling, contemptuous of democracy PM this country has ever seen–is stupid. They are currently inseparable. Harper has made himself the Conservative party by ruling with the proverbial iron fist. I’m quite sure any number of people in his own party would be glad to see him go.

That doesn’t make The Globe and Mail’s endorse-the-body-but-not-the-head approach any less dumb. They should be ridiculed from sea to shining sea for this inane stance. I’ve done my part!

The other nutty thing was Conrad Black’s endorsement piece that ran in The National Post, another paper to pitch for the Conservatives. As you may know, Black is a tad on the conservative side himself. He concludes his piece by referring to Harper thusly:

We really cannot have another four years of government by a sadistic Victorian schoolmaster.

Earlier in the article, after listing some accomplishments of Harper and ranking him as among the second-greatest set of prime ministers, Black says this:

On the other side of the ledger as we approach this election, his government has, with a parliamentary majority, become sclerotically rigid, media-inaccessible, authoritarian and peevish. Strong ministers such as John Baird and the late Jim Flaherty have not been properly replaced, and there is no discernible policy goal or imagination: only the relentless pursuit of extended incumbency. It is a humourless and often paranoid regime where all spontaneity in cabinet or in the governing caucus in Parliament is stifled and punished.

Look, when your political friends say these things about you and your party, then turn around and endorse Justin Trudeau–a Liberal!–you know you’ve strayed from the path.

The election is two days away. Train your puppies with The Globe and Mail and don’t vote Conservative.

Thank you and good night.

 

Here we are with only six days to go before Election Day. It’s been several decades since Stephen Harper called the election and a new generation is entirely ambivalent about voting. Or perhaps not, as Elections Canada is reporting a 71% increase in voting at advance polls this year vs. the 2011 election (or as I call 2011, The Big Oops). Of course big numbers in advance polls don’t always translate to election day but it’s at least a little encouraging to see some people pull away from checking their Facebook status* long enough to get out and exercise their democratic right.

To the surprise of no one, the Conservatives have turned to fear, racism and general hate as the election drags on and on. It has had some effect, though it’s hard to say for certain who is benefiting more. If the billion polls are accurate, NDP support has taken a big dive, with the Conservatives improving a little and the Liberals improving a lot. Various projections give either the Conservatives (The Big Oops) a plurality of seats while others point to the Liberals getting the most. Tom Mulcair is putting on a brave beardy face and insisting it’s still a three-party race, which it could very well be, as polls nowadays can sometimes be more than a little inaccurate.

Fun fact: if we end up with a minority government, it will be the fourth in the last five elections. The Liberals, NDP, Bloc Quebecois and Green Party (the latter two are not projected to win enough seats to wield any real influence) have all stated categorically that they will not help prop up a minority Conservative government, no matter how many photos Stephen Harper gets with him holding a kitten. This is a good thing for the country and for kittens.

Here’s hoping that next Monday I will not start drinking heavily.

 

* I secretly–well, not that secretly–hope this reference becomes horribly dated in a few years