General

Using the Surface Pro 3 as an actual laptop

Today I did something I had never done before. Admittedly this could be one of billions of possible things, but in this case I am referring to using my Surface Pro 3 as an actual laptop.

By this, I mean that I propped myself up on the bed with some pillows so I was sitting fully upright and placed the SP3 on my lap and started typing (I wrote the previous running update this way). The experience went better than expected but was still unsatisfying for a few reasons.

First, the good news: the SP3 was far more stable than I expected with it resting on my legs. I suspect this was largely due to my legs being laid out perfectly straight on the bed, creating the flattest possible surface (pun not intended). Though there was some slight bounce with the keyboard (I normally lay it flat on desks/tables but on the lap it really needs to be kept up so the magnetic strip can better stabilize it) but it was perfectly manageable, if a bit odd-feeling.

The less-good news: The DPI scaling is such that the text was just slightly on the small side from where I was sitting in relation to the screen. This could be corrected a couple of ways: magnifying the Firefox window (obviously this only works in Firefox or other browsers) or by increasing the DPI scaling (not a great option as inevitably some things end up cartoonishly big and changing DPI obnoxiously requires a reboot) or putting on my glasses. The text wasn’t fuzzy or anything like that, it was just small enough to be annoying and unpleasant to work with.

The bad news: I tested with the lights off, to see how the keyboard’s backlight would fare. Unfortunately, the backlight would switch off after only a short period of inactivity, leaving the keyboard in darkness. This entirely defeats the point of having the backlight. Also, the light bled through sufficiently that it actually made the keys more difficult to see.

Overall the Surface Pro 3 worked better than expected but I can honestly say that typing out a blog post using the onscreen keyboard of my iPad Air is a more pleasant experience when blogging from bed. Granted I don’t often blog from bed–I prefer using the bed for more traditional purposes, such as sleeping and “I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes!”–but still, I am left with the feeling that an actual laptop would be notably superior, to a degree that I would switch over to one were I to suddenly blog from bed regularly.

The DPI scaling is an ongoing concern in general for Windows laptops as more of them are now shipping with beyond-HD displays (see the Surface Book and its otherwise gorgeous 13.5″ 3,000 x 2,000 screen), so if I do get another laptop, it may be a MacBook of some flavor. I’ll test drive a few possible options before making a final decision. Conveniently, Metrotown has both an Apple store and a Microsoft store near to each other. Plus a food court so I can get a taco when all the test driving leaves me hungry.

Global warming: yes; local warming: no

I have finally learned to fully embrace complaining about the weather. It’s fun!

But at the same time it’s not very exciting to read about, so I will be brief.

The problem, as I see it, is I have been wearing pants far too often this summer. This is not to say that I am advocating walking around sans pants, as that would likely attract attention I do not want. Rather, it is to say that I am wearing jeans instead of shorts because the weather is stubbornly being not very summer-like. Thinking back, I would say that April, May and June were all nicer than July, which has seen one really warm day sandwiched between a bunch with lower-than-seasonal temperatures, clouds a-plenty and rain frequent enough to make puddle-dodging a regular occurrence when I run.

All of this was preceded by a long term summer forecast that called for drier and warmer conditions, similar to the two previous summers. Instead, the water rationing is looking a little silly with every lawn a lush and vibrant green without any hosing down required. On the plus side, the air conditioning bills are lower, we don’t have that blasted desert look going on and it provides a comforting illusion that global climate change isn’t really happening.

But still. More sun and clear skies, please. It can rain in November. I won’t complain, honest*.

* lie

Websites for writers that have been eaten by monsters (perhaps)

The domain writersdigest.com is not available. However, writersdigested.com is. Think of the possibilities. Think of Harlan Ellison trapped in the stomach of some great mythological monster like the hydra or the leprechaun.

Then think again about how the domain is still available and maybe there’s a reason for that.

But still, Harlan Ellison trapped in the stomach of a leprechaun. It demands to be written.

Bad design: Dell XPS 13 nosecam

UPDATE March 30, 2019: The 2019 model of the XPS 13 finally puts the webcam at the top of the screen. The Verge’s review.

In 2015 Dell introduced the XPS 13, a laptop that had such narrow bezels along the sides and top of the display that the 13 inch device was closer in form factor to an 11 inch laptop. This is good design.

However, a side effect is that the bezel along the top of the display, which normally hosts the webcam, no longer had room for such a device. Rather than skip the webcam entirely, Dell moved it to the lower left corner of the display. This has led to what many have dubbed the nosecam. Peter Bright reviewed the original model on Ars Technica and included this photo of the view the webcam provides:

The webcam that lets you check for ceiling cat

This is one of those “how did this go to production?” things. Except with the refreshed model that came out this year, still featuring the same webcam, this has become a “How did this survive to a second generation?” thing.

Three possible solutions come to mind:

  1. Remove the webcam entirely. If someone wants both a Dell XPS 13 and a webcam, they can buy the webcam separately and clip it to the top of the display, like we did in the olden days with our coal-fired laptops.
  2. Reduce the rather large bottom bezel and expand the top bezel, keeping the total height the same but providing the room needed for proper webcam placement. Obviously I don’t know how difficult the engineering for this would be and perhaps the fact that Dell hasn’t moved the webcam means it is difficult, but even if it is, there’s still option #1.
  3. Put the webcam in a recessed slot on the top of the display. You could press a button/say the magic word and it would pop up, ready to reveal all the embarrassing personal effects in the background you forgot to clear out of sight before launching Skype. There is at least one laptop that uses this design now, though it is possible the XPS 13’s display may be too thin to accommodate this design. Again, there’s still option #1.

Bad design: iMac ports

In a way it’s too easy to pick on Apple. The company has been around for 40 years and in that time it helped usher in the personal computer, redefined what a PC could be with the Macintosh in 1984 and then went on a long trek into the wilderness, almost going bankrupt before getting a lift up from Microsoft, of all companies. And then Steve Jobs came back and in the next 14 years he served as CEO Apple went from nearly folding up to a company that was generating tens of billions of dollars in revenue. All of these products were created with Jobs back at the helm: iPod, iTunes, iMac, iPhone, and iPad.

They really liked the lowercase “i.”

During this time in particular, Apple’s reputation became cemented as a company that makes premium products and the term “Apple tax” got bandied about. You paid more for an Apple device, but you got something high quality in return.

Well, mostly.

The other thing Apple gained a reputation for–and why it is really such a juicy target for bad design–are the examples of form over function. I highlighted one already with the weirdly round original iMac mouse.

Next up is another aspect of the iMac, but one that concerns the current design, namely the arrangement of the ports.

Observe below the ports available on the 27 inch iMac:

iMac 27 inch ports

They are neatly arranged. This is good.

They are all on the back of the computer. This is bad.

The front of the iMac is very clean. The display is flush with the unibody aluminum design, with a small Apple logo being the only embellishment.

When you look at the front of a typical PC case you’ll notice a couple of things. The first is that it is usually not as sexy or clean as an iMac, though some can look pretty nice. The other thing you will notice is the front of the case (sometimes the side) will usually include line in/line out jacks and a couple of USB ports. This makes it easy to plug or unplug a headset (something you may not want to always have connected to the computer) and more importantly, it gives easy access to USB ports. While some USB devices are unlikely to get unplugged often or at all (USB mice and keyboards, for example), others will rarely remain plugged in, like a USB flash drive. Insert flash drive, copy/save the data needed, remove the flash drive.

On most PCs this is easy. On the iMac it is always a nuisance because a) the USB ports are out of sight on the back and b) the iMac only pivots up and down on its hinge, not side to side, which would at least make it easier to turn to access the ports on the back.

This is bad design and worse, it’s bad design deliberately chosen to keep the front of the iMac clean-looking, the very definition of form over function.

I actually think Apple may revisit this decision but probably not before a complete redesign of the iMac happens and that doesn’t seem likely to happen soon.

(iMac owners can help alleviate the issue by using USB hubs that sit garishly out front.)

Some of the most embarrassing music videos ever (from the 1980s)

These are personal picks and they coincidentally are all from the 1980s because the 80s were both chockablock full of terrible music videos and it also happened to be the decade when I was old enough to really got into music. You can find more “official” choices out there like WatchMojo’s Top 10 Good Songs with Bad Music Videos (you’ll see some duplication on my list). My one criteria in the following selections is this: Do I cringe while watching? If the answer is yes, the video is a winner (at being cringe-inducing).

Here they are in no particular order:

Journey, “Separate Ways”

In some ways it’s hard to describe what makes something very 80s but you know it when you see it. Here, it might be the woman’s puffed hair and overly made-up face. Or maybe it’s Steve Perry’s everything. The air instruments alone guarantees this video’s spot but really, the whole thing is difficult to watch. You feel bad for these guys. Then you remember how much money they had.

Enjoy!

Starship, “We Built This City”

Sometimes cited as the worst song of the 80s, the video is a fine companion to it. Never mind that a song extolling the virtues of rock and roll is a top-heavy mess of synthesizers, the lead singer can’t dance and several times he literally stands facing the camera with his mouth hanging open, waiting to sing the next part of the song. The rest is a hodgepodge of extras and stylized scenes of Las Vegas because when I think of rock and roll, I think of Vegas.

Man, even the still you get before playing the video is cringe-worthy.

Wham!, “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”

I’ll confess, I pretty much hated this song. It was catchy but insipid. The video takes these qualities and turns them up to a million. The fashion transcends being 80s to looking like the random results of piecing together whatever was found after a rainbow exploded in a clothing factory. I mean, look at this still image I grabbed:

Colorful Wham!

Also, George Michael’s teeth are supernaturally white. It’s kind of creepy.

Styx, “Mr. Roboto”

This is a good example of a perfect marriage, with both song and video being equally silly and cringe-inducing. Part of the concept album Kilroy Was Here, this song features lead singer Dennis DeYoung disguising himself as a robot to help secretly undermine the authoritarian regime that has made music illegal or something. But if he’s in disguise, why do the lyrics include lines like, “my brain is IBM”? DeYoung over-emotes throughout and early in the video he spontaneously switches from being disguised as a robot to mincing around in a purple jumpsuit. He later inexplicably grabs a robot and starts singing loudly at it, possibly to torture it. And us.

Queen, “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”

I quite liked this song when it was released as a single way back in 1980. It’s a breezy little Elvis-style ditty. The video features the band as the least-convincing group of greasers ever. Freddie Mercury struts around, jackets mysteriously appearing and disappearing on him and toward the end of the video someone apparently handed him a microphone because he’s suddenly got one in his hand. One of the dancers tears Mercury’s shirt open. It magically repairs itself later. The dancers look like they got lost on their way to a Broadway production of Cats or maybe Starlight Express. Brian May grimaces throughout.

And a bonus from 1975:

Neil Sedaka, “Bad Blood”

Neil Sedaka’s brown jacket and yellow shirt represent stylish 1970s fashion in the same way the shark from Jaws represents safe ocean swimming. The song is about a woman who done the protagonist wrong, with the chorus charmingly including the lyrics, “The bitch is in her smile.” Sedaka nonetheless mugs and grins throughout the song as if it’s some Barry Manilow show tune. There’s an odd bit halfway through where he suddenly stands up from the piano and starts clapping and singing to the same person off-camera that he’s been over-emoting to throughout the video.

Elton John, who embraced 70s fashion as the tasteless spectacle it was, shares vocals but, perhaps suspecting something was up, does not appear in the video.

First day of summer 2016: meh

Today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year and the first day of summer.

I rate it 7/10.

Good:

  • pleasantly warm
  • mainly sunny for most of the day
  • no hurricanes

Less good:

  • cloudy by late afternoon
  • forecast for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th days of summer: overcast, overcast, rain, chance of rain
  • rain puddles all over the place make it feel un-summerish

P.S. I promise to swear off weather-related posts for at least a week. That’s seven days.

Unless we have a hurricane.

Should we talk about the weather?

It’s hard to believe that June 5 was only two weeks ago. Back then it was Africa hot, the kind of hot where the air itself feels warm, like you could cut into it with a knife.

I say it’s hard to believe not because the time has flown by, but because so many of the days since then have seen lower-than-normal temperatures, along with enough showers to make the current water rationing seem a bit silly. It’s as if the nice weather was all just a convincing hoax. Perhaps it will be bone dry for the next two months and I’ll come to regret my complaints about more or less typical June weather. Perhaps we will look back and reflect bitterly on what we will come to know as The Great Dustbowl of 2016.

I suspect not.

Evidence that summer is coming, if only according to the calendar, was seen today as I traipsed through Hume Park during a respite from the rain, as the swimming pool has been outfitted with slides and filled with water. It would have looked inviting had the temperature been about ten degrees higher. Maybe next week. Actually, according to the forecast, the highest it will get in the next ten days is 26ºC and that’s next Sunday (and entire week from now), meaning it could conceivably be snowing by then, given rapidly changing weather conditions (you think I jest and yet Grouse Mountain got snow recently, something that sits awkwardly next to their summer promotional advertising). The next five days appear to be a dreary mix of cloud and rain. I suppose it could be worse. I could still be operating the concession at Locarno Beach and openly weeping over the loss of revenue. By the way, do people still go to the beach to tan anymore or do people slather themselves with super-strength sunblock and just go through the motions?)

P.S. I promise the next post will not be about the weather. PROMISE.

Naughty with keyboards

Tonight, just because I could, I plugged a Mac keyboard into my PC. But wait, I didn’t just plug it into any USB port, I plugged it into one of the USB ports of my current PC keyboard.

Yes, I plugged a keyboard into a keyboard. It’s wrong and yet it works.

I kind of like the quiet of the Mac keyboard after the sturm und drang of my blue switch (extra clacky) mechanical keyboard. Still, this is silly so I’ll switch back after this post.

And a picture for posterity:

Dueling keyboards
Top: Das USB mechanical keyboard. Bottom: Apple USB keyboard. Not seen: Me being silly doing this.

The James Patterson word factory continues apace

I noticed kobo.com was highlighting something called James Patterson BOOKSHOTS. Before reading further I speculated on what these might be. Photos of James Patterson novels that have been shot at with guns in artful ways? James Patterson book covers re-imagined as placemats for your favorite home-cooked meals (I suppose a better name for those would be BOOKMATS)?

It turns out these are novellas that promise to be under 150 pages and under $5. That’s $5 Canadian, so almost free.

Right now two of these books are available, each for $3.99. “The revolution in reading” promises approximately 50,000 more titles in the next few months, with more to come beyond that. None of them appear to be written by James Patterson. They cover a variety of genres, ranging from thrillers using Patterson’s characters to romance and non-fiction.

Some (many? most?) of these books are banking on the mere presence of the Patterson name to sell them. Do I really want to read a book of quotes from Trump and Clinton? I might if I trust Patterson in a vague, general way and admire his work (“He wrote some kids book, he must be a nice guy”). And the publisher is so confident in this premise (“Patterson’s name alone will sell a book of quotes from Trump and Clinton”) that they are pushing ahead with the aforementioned five million or so books (er, BOOKSHOTS).

The whole thing is predictable–authors attaching their names to books they haven’t actually written is hardly a new thing or exclusive to Patterson–but also weird and a little depressing. I mean, if Stephen King lent his name to a series of cookbooks, I would find it interesting in an abstract sense, wondering if the recipes were all about how best to prepare vampire bat goulash (ghoulash?) or crunchy almond spiders, but if it was just King’s name slapped on each volume I’d be thinking “cash grab” and pass. Actually, I’d pass regardless, because I’m not particularly yearning to find out what sort of recipes Stephen King has to offer. The cash grab is the depressing part.

The weird part is attaching the name to all manner of genres. It’s as if Patterson’s brand is so strong it can be used to promote anything. Why stop at books? Why not James Patterson clothing, lunch boxes or toiletries?

On the positive side, this does give other writers an opportunity to get their work published, and with the Patterson brand behind the books, a greater chance to be noticed. The low price and low page count also pushes these into the impulse buy zone, further increasing the odds that some of them will be picked up.

Now I’m conflicted. I kind of want to hate James Patterson BOOKSHOTS because, come on, it’s a money grab. But if it helps writers, especially new writers…maybe it’s not as horrible as I’d like it to be.

I’m still not picking up Sacking the Quarterback, though.

The first unofficial Africa hot day of 2016: June 5th

It got up to 31º C today, nearly 10 degrees above the average. Even the breeze was hot. Given that this is still the first week of June you might think this would be an omen pointing toward a very hot summer. However, the forecast is calling for rain and below seasonal temperatures just days from now, so who knows.

One day we’ll have smart robots that will know exactly what weather is coming. And they will use it against us because robots don’t care if it rains.