Quest for a new laptop, Part 4: Quest complete! (For now)

Today I finally made a decision on a laptop, after Lenovo put a bunch of their models on sale again for Father’s Day.

I went with the ThinkPad Carbon X1, with the following specs:

  • 8th Generation Intel Core i5-8250U Processor (1.60GHz, up to 3.40GHz with Turbo Boost, 6MB Cache)
  • Windows 10 Home 64
  • 14″ FHD (1920 x 1080) IPS anti-glare multi-touch, 300 nits
  • 8 GB LPDDR3 2133MHz (Onboard)
  • Integrated Intel® UHD Graphics 620
  • Black
  • 720p HD Camera with ThinkShutter and microphone
  • Fingerprint Reader
  • UltraNav (TrackPoint and ClickPad)
  • 256GB Solid State Drive PCIe-NVME OPAL2.0 M.2
  • 3 cell Li-Ion 57Wh
  • 65W AC Adapter (2pin) – USB Type C
  • Intel Dual Band 8265 Wireless AC (2 x 2) & Bluetooth 4.1 with vPro

I’ve highlighted the most relevant specs. The one not shown is the keyboard, which has 1.8 mm of travel, an absurdly luxurious amount compared to many laptops these days (my MacBook Pro has a measly 0.8 mm of travel, which explains why it is so clicky, loud and awful). It was the primary deciding factor.

Well, that and the 25% discount making the price reasonable. Without that discount it would have cost even more than the MacBook Pro I bought in late 2016 and at that premium I would have considered other options.

In terms of what I’m trading into, the MBP comes with a faster processor (2GHz vs. 1.6GHz), but it’s also a generation behind and the 8th gen Intel CPUs have gone quad core, seeing the first significant speed boosts in awhile. And while I could have gotten a 2K display to again match the MBP, I stepped down a bit to a 1920×1080 in order to get a touchscreen. I won’t use it a lot, but it will be handy to have when I do.

The battery life should be even better and the ThinkPad is about a half pound lighter.

It includes Thunderbolt 3 ports, as well as USB 3.0, HDMI and mini-SD, so it works with both current peripherals and is still equipped for when USB-C really hits the mainstream.

It even includes a fingerprint reader for logins, something that Apple only offers on models that cost a whopping $670 more (granted these models also offer faster CPUs and more TB3 ports, but come on).

What I’m looking forward to the most, though, is that keyboard. In the weeks since I’ve semi-retired the MacBook Pro I’ve been using my Surface Pro 3 instead and its keyboard is so much nicer to type on. And I don’t have to worry about footing a $700 out-of-warranty repair if one of its keys stops working.

As for the MacBook Pro, I’ll miss the trackpad, but really that’s all. macOS is nice but it doesn’t make my socks roll up and down anymore than Windows 10 does. It has things I like, things that bug me, just like Windows 10. I’ll be happy to get away from the horrible (for me) typing experience, the need for adapters and the lack of touch. I’ll probably be taking the MBP to the Apple store and trading it in for a gift card that will likely go to a new Watch, iPad or phone. Basically anything except another Mac. 😛

And unless Apple abandons its butterfly keyboard design–and I don’t think they will–I will never buy another Mac laptop again. I’m not sure why anyone would these days. There are better options available, no matter what your criteria is–price, port selection, display options, battery life. About the only area where the MacBook Pro is ahead now is in class action lawsuits.

UPDATE: I just received an email informing me that the order for my ThinkPad Carbon X1 has been cancelled, with no explanation as to why. I’ll try using Lenovo’s chat on their site on Monday or call their 1-800 number, but this is a bit puzzling, to say the least. I guess my laptop quest may continue after all.

Run 581 and 582: Down, but not out

Run 581
Average pace: 6:15/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CCW)
Start: 12:40 pm
Distance: 1.98 km
Time: 12:25
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 28ºC
Humidity: 33%
Wind: light to moderate
BPM: 164
Weight: 164 pounds
Total distance to date: 4487 km
Devices: Apple Watch, iPhone 8

Run 582
Average pace: 6:22/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CCW)
Start: 1:02 pm
Distance: 3:01 km
Time: 19:14
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 28ºC
Humidity: 32%
Wind: light to moderate
BPM: 164
Weight: 164 pounds
Total distance to date: 4490 km
Devices: Apple Watch, iPhone 8

I got started later than expected, but it didn’t look like it would be too hot, as the temperature was around 24ºC when I headed out. I originally planned on running at the river but the lack of shade convinced me to go ahead and do a counter-clockwise circuit on the lake instead. Was this a miscalculation? Read on to see!

By the time I got to the lake the temperature had gone up to 28ºC. This is Africa Hot territory, it’s significantly warmer than the last run (16ºC) and I’d kind of skipped out on the runs during the week, so I was going in with a full week off. Plus I’d walked the lake loop yesterday, which might have left me feeling tired (though I felt fine heading out).

I started off and thought I’d push just a little for the first km, knowing my pace would surely droop after, so it might lift my average time a bit. I averaged 6:04/km, which is already not great. By the time I neared the 2K mark I had crashed out to 6:28/km, which is very bad for less than 2 km of running. I did not feel good. I mulled my options, then decided to call the run there (had I looked at the watch I would have pushed the wee bit to make it an even 2 km because I’m obsessive like that).

I switched to a walk and after about a km I felt recovered enough to start running again. I set a goal of 5 km but would be satisfied by just picking up the remaining 3km of my original 5K.

I definitely felt better hitting the 2K mark this time, but I was exercising a lot of caution. Even then, as I got into the sun-baked stretch leading up the bridge at Deer Lake Brook, I knew I would stop at 3 km. I looked at my watch a lot. I finally hit 3K shortly before the bridge and happily switched over to walking again.

The walk out actually went fairly well.

The factors playing into this stop-start run would seem to be:

  • lack of regular running leading to generally lower stamina level
  • the knees complicating things in their own way
  • significantly hotter weather
  • strong breeze contributing to dry mouth/thirst

On the plus side, I did get in 5K, just not all in one go. I didn’t give up, I regrouped and tried again–and succeeded. My BPM, despite the high temperature, was actually down from last week. If you combine the two times you get an average pace of 6:18/km, which is nearly identical to last week when the weather wasn’t really hot and gross.

On the negative, I felt like I was running on the proverbial empty tank. I was hot and bothered in the not-sexy way. I know I could have kept pushing on the first run and probably made it to 5K, but it would have been a protracted experience of misery. I’m happy to know my limits and work with them.

With Jeff away on dirt bike vacation next week, I have no real reason to not run after dinner, though it looks to still be hot. I ponder my options. Maybe I can carry a watering can and just keep sprinkling water over my head. Or hook up some VR simulation and go for a very convincing facsimile of a run.

Poopmonsters: 1, Me: 0

Today saw the return of a high pressure ridge and much warmer, summer-like temperatures, just in time for the actual start of summer (in five days).

I had planned on doing some shopping but didn’t want to stay cooped up inside during our first day of truly glorious sunshine in weeks, so I nixed the shopping and went for a walk around Burnaby Lake.

Here are some stats courtesy of the Activity app of my watch:

Total distance: 19.31 km
Total time: 2:57:51
Total calories burned: 909
Average pace: 9:12/km
Average BPM: 124

My knees started out fine, started to get sore partway through, got a bit bothersome some point after that, then came around to feeling not too bad again for the last few km. They don’t feel bad now, but I’m under no illusions. My knees have turned against me after 4400+ km of running.

When I approached the athletic fields I was presented with a dilemma, as illustrated in the photo below.

You shall not pass (without being pecked).

The choice was to plow through and see how the adult geese would react to me indirectly threatening their goslings, or to cut wide onto the field and avoid them altogether.

I chose the latter because having more than a dozen geese chasing and trying to peck me is a little too close to a scene from The Birds for comfort.

After taking the photo (I approached from the opposite side), I passed a woman who was going to face the same predicament. I watched to see if the feathers would fly. She got closer and closer still, then stopped. She took some pictures. She resumed walking and I actually though she was going to try the ol’ “if I just calmly walk through them nothing bad will happen” trick. But instead, she went wide onto the field like I did. Considering this was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, I wonder how many other people were diverted by the goose-stepping blockade.

The rest of the walk was pretty straightforward, though I actually began to sweat a bit toward the end. There was the usual mix of walkers, runners and cyclists pretending they totally didn’t realize they aren’t allowed to ride here. No park workers around to warn/lecture/fine them, however. The cyclists, I mean.

One jogger–who obviously read the forecast–was wearing the legal minimum to stay nice and cool. Or cooler. As I passed through Lower Hume Park another pair of runners went by also wearing the vaguely ridiculous short shorts and nothing else at all. Well, running shoes. And one had a heart strap on, which, when going shirtless, looks like you’ve put your belt on about a foot higher than you meant to. They had perfectly sculpted bodies, of course, just to rub it in.

I’m going to run tomorrow, and will attempt to do so in the morning before it becomes Africa hot. Because I did the mega-walk I am thinking of just a quick run on the river instead of tackling the lake again. We shall see.

My steadily improving vision

Today I got my eyes examined [joke about having head examined here] for the first time in six years.

I didn’t realize it had been that long until the receptionist at the optometrist told me my last visit was in 2012. I felt bad. And lazy. Because I was very lazy.

The good news is my eyes are happy and healthy, and I got to see full color 3D images of them, which was both neat and a little creepy.

I also got the drops that keep your pupils dilated and it was sunny out, so things were a little bright for a few hours after. I should have remembered sunglasses. Except I don’t have any. So what I really need is to remember to buy them first.

The weirdest part of the exam was the doctor confirming something I mentioned at the start of the exam. I told him that I could see distant objects better with the glasses off. He confirmed this–my far distance vision has actually gotten better, defying logic and age. I’m okay with this. The old prescription for the progressive lenses was -75 for distance and is nil for the new prescription.

Near distance is another story, a story that is slightly out of focus. The doctor had me look through a lens mirroring my current prescription and letters were a bit fuzzy. He then switched to the new prescription and they were razor sharp. I actually felt a small thrill of excitement at this. I’m not sure if this makes me nerdy, old or both. But yes, I’m excited about getting new glasses and I’m going to start shopping with my new prescription in hand tomorrow.

And I pinky swear I will not wait six years next time to get my eyes checked.

In which I tell Microsoft what to do with its Surface line

Fix the Surface line-up. Here’s how (you can find other posts similar to this around the internet–I don’t claim to be original, but this is my take). It’s mostly about adding Thunderbolt 3 ports and current processors, nothing too demanding. And then a few “I’m feeling a smidgen entitled” requests for good measure.

Surface Pro

  • round the corners a bit. It’s not ugly, exactly, but it’s not handsome, either
  • add a Thunderbolt 3 port
  • 8th generation Intel CPU
  • INCLUDE THE TYPE COVER AT NO ADDITIONAL COST

Microsoft has actually advertised the Surface Pro as a laptop, the first to apparently not include a keyboard. It’s time they make it standard with every model and eat the cost in doing so.

Surface Laptop

  • add two Thunderbolt 3 ports and keep the USB 3.0 port
  • 8th generation Intel CPU
  • faster SSD
  • offer a version that acts as a 2-in-1, with a 360 degree hinge

Surface Studio

  • lower the price by $1000. It’s stupidly overpriced.
  • give it a proper desktop CPU (Intel 8th generation)
  • Thunderbolt 3 ports
  • offer a smaller 24″ model
  • include the pen and dial

Surface Book

  • find a way to make the hinge gap smaller
  • this is one laptop where making it thinner is not about sacrificing functionality, it’s pretty bulky compared to most
  • better battery for tablet mode
  • Thunderbolt 3 ports
  • include a stronger power supply–it can’t do some tasks while plugged in without the battery being hit due to how weak the included power adapter is

Book review: And Then Begin Again: Six Tales of Hope

And Then Begin Again: Six Tales of Hope (Dark Collections Book 2)And Then Begin Again: Six Tales of Hope by Ann Christy
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Ann Christy’s second collection of six stories covers an eclectic mix of time travel, super powers, far-future doom and alternate history. Some spoilers ahead, so be warned.

“Sedge” puts together a young man and woman on a newly-settled world, each of them not quite fitting their own culture. There is an abrupt tonal shift due to a rather significant event happening right at the end, and I felt it was glossed over a little too readily, but it’s still charming to watch these two flirt on this new world before that happens.

“The Mirroring” is a weird story about a new counselor investigating some very strange self-worth issues some students at a private college are experiencing. A strong (and agreeable) Twilight Zone vibe here.

“Life/Time in the New World.” Alpha male business guy gets frozen for 300 years, pops out of his capsule and continues being an alpha male business guy in the future, which is part paradise, part sneaky Twilight Zone hell. All the pieces are here, but the story felt a bit perfunctory at times, and the character’s growth as an individual almost seems deliberately undercut by the ending.

“Unnatural” imagines an alternate history where Pope John Paul I doesn’t die after only 33 days and basically announces that births as a result of in vitro fertilization are A-OK, resulting in a future where natural birth is…illegal? Again, all the pieces here are put together well, but the basic premise, while a fun “What if?” exercise, doesn’t seem that plausible. Maybe this is just a reflection of the world we live in now.

“Yankari” tells the story of Olisa, an eight year girl in Africa who has some very potent abilities that she struggles to control and use to protect wildlife from poachers. I felt the ending broadened out the story in a way that was unnecessary, but this is still a tight, enjoyable tale of a little girl learning to harness some amazing abilities to do the right thing.

“Lulu Ad Infinitum” is an SF piece about a colony ship that suffers a catastrophic failure, forcing its lone survivor, the titular Lulu, to survive by cloning, then learning to live with, herself. Despite the grim backdrop, the tone remains surprisingly light as Lulu grapples with a possibly untrustworthy AI, the process of raising her clones and more. Christy does an excellent job here with the setting, fleshing it out in satisfying detail.

Overall, even the lesser stories were eminently readable and I enjoyed all six, just some more than others. An easy recommendation if you’re looking for a blast of SF/fantasy variety with a (mostly) hopeful theme.

View all my reviews

Solo vs. One

This month the second non-trilogy Star Wars film came out, Solo: A Star Wars Story. The first, Rogue One, released in December 2016.

Box Office Mojo posted a comparison of their domestic haul after 17 days. It shows a rather astonishing gap of $248,882,233.

Rotten Tomatoes gives Rogue One an 85% fresh rating, which is pretty good. Solo gets a more middling 71%. Still, the difference in popularity is drastic. Some reasons offered for the reception of Solo:

  • too soon after the previous Star Wars movie. The Last Jedi came out just six months ago.
  • difficulties with production somehow affected perception/demand (the original directors were fired and Ron Howard was brought in, reshooting up to 70% of the scenes while allegedly sticking to the script)
  • everyone knows Solo dies at the hands of his jerk son, Kylo Ren, so watching how he starts out is kind of depressing
  • Harrison Ford is too closely associated with the role
  • enough with the nostalgic trips into the past

There’s probably some validity to all of these reasons, but my hunch is that most people just don’t care much about a Han Solo origin story, even one that’s told well. It would be like a Boba Fett movie. The character came out with this built-in reputation as a cool bounty hunter, but did very little and got eaten by a giant worm. Why would you want to watch a story about him? Would the opening crawl start with “Before he was devoured by the Sarlac, Boba Fett was a renowned bounty hunter…”

Anyway, I was just surprised by the huge disparity between the two movies. While Rogue One was also set in the past, it didn’t center around well-known characters, it was a new story and one that actually helps set up the very first Star Wars film. And was incredibly popular–especially considering that (spoiler!) it kills off all of its major characters by the time the credits roll.

Run 580: Trick or tree

Run 580
Average pace: 6:17/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CW)
Start: 12:05 pm
Distance: 5:04 km
Time: 31:44
Weather: Sun and cloud
Temp: 16ºC
Humidity: 54%
Wind: light to strong
BPM: 168
Weight: 162.1 pounds
Total distance to date: 4485 km
Devices: Apple Watch, iPhone 8

I originally planned to run at the river today, as it would involve less walking and the run itself would be on a much gentler course. I changed my mind and headed to the lake, opting for a counter-clockwise course. I set out on a deliberately slower pace to see if I could overcome the feeling of my stamina collapsing and the nausea I felt at the very end.

And then two trees got in my way.

I started off the run, crossing the small bridge at Silver Creek, hooked left, then hooked right…and a rather large tree was sitting across the trail. A runner from the other direction popped out on the left side, demonstrating that is was possible to get by, but I opted to turn around and reluctantly do a repeat of the same clockwise route I’d done on Wednesday. I made the decision after only a few moments, so I kept the run timer going.

A parks worker was on hand with chainsaw, just getting started on the fallen tree.

I made my way over the dam, past the parking lot, then turned onto the Avalon Trail…where another fallen tree laid across the path.

This is the view looking back, toward the parking lot:

I stopped my run (0.75 km completed) and contemplated. I decided to get on the other side of this tree, start my run over and hope the trail was not festooned with more trees blown down by yesterday’s apparently vicious rainstorm.

Fortunately these were the only two, it was just weird that they were both near the start of the trail, as if it was an omen telling me to stay away.

The slower pace worked, though. I came in at 6:17/km, so three seconds off the previous run. What that bought me in exchange was, sadly, not a lower BPM, which stubbornly stayed at 168, but it did result in a run that was a lot more comfortable.

The first two km were very similar to last time, while the last km was much slower (it actually matched the overall pace of 6:17). The difference today is that I didn’t feel like I was running out of gas, I just kept going along at a deliberate pace and when the run was over, a stream of expletives did not emerge from my mouth, I just switched to an outdoor walk and kept going (the walk back broke the 9:00/km average again).

While I am disappointed at the average pace consistently being over 6:00/km now, I must admit that the knees are probably a bigger factor than the stamina. While they don’t hurt in a painful way during the run, I can feel them and I suspect they are inhibiting my speed without me being fully aware of it. Oh well. All I can do is take good care of them between runs, perhaps by petting them and telling them how great they are. “Who’s a good knee? You’re a good knee! Yes, you are!”

Importantly, this was the first time in a long time that I completed three runs in a week, having run on Sunday, Wednesday and Saturday. I’ll try to repeat this going forward and will report the results, possibly in tears, possibly through clenched teeth, but always on this here blog.

Also, they were paving Major Street, which added about half a km as I detoured on my walk back. I didn’t want to risk walking over extremely fresh asphalt, though I was temped. In the end common sense won out over laziness. This meant the last few blocks were up a somewhat steep grade, which is not exactly the way I prefer ending a run, but it’s better than being hit by a blimp.

The rain in June

Perhaps it’s because May was so warm and summer-like, but a week into June and I find myself indifferent to the change to cloudy and (today) rainy weather.

I think instead how this will help stave off the fire ban that will inevitably come once we get officially into summer, and that means toasty campfires while on vacation. I guess what I’m saying is I’m willing to pay for crummy weather now with the promise of gloriously sunny weather later. Or maybe it’s just because I burn easily. Sunburn easily, I mean. In terms of actual combustion I suspect I would burn the same as most people.

Anyway, the rain is making me shrug and on balance I think this is a good and healthy thing.

If the weather is still like this a month from now, my view may be a bit different.

I like lists (of old songs)

As expected, my three month trial of Apple Music has turned into a giant Music Nostalgia Machine.

I’ve been adding songs to a playlist cleverly called Pop Stuff. If I Think of a song, I add it. Most of them were songs I liked but not enough to buy the albums they were on because I was cheap and/or picky.

Here’s the list so far because, as has been established, I like lists. The songs are in the order I added them, which is random.

Save a Prayer. Duran Duran’s weirdly soothing mix of synths and guitars is both very 80s and yet timeless.
Don’t You Want Me. This was notable in being the first all-synth song to go #1. That seems positively quaint today, but in 1981 it was the first taste of what was to come.
The Safety Dance. The video is silly, the song is silly, the name of the band is silly, but it’s just so catchy. Also, synths because the 80s.
Ray of Light. From 1998, this may be Madonna’s best song. Effervescent, propulsive and vocally exciting.
Got to Get You Into My Life. I always liked this Beatles song. I think the brassy horns did it because as a kid I didn’t know what brassy horns were, I just knew I liked them.
Something About You. What lifts this song is both the soaring falsetto of keyboardist Mike Lindup and the funky bass of Mark King. The video features King as this weird pantomime character that turns seriously creepy toward the end of the song. I have no idea what they were going for.
Beat It. Never had enough interest in Jackson to commit to his albums, but really liked “Beat It.” The start of his vocal tics doesn’t diminish it.
Billie Jean. More tics and as David Letterman pointed out in 1982, he totally says “chair” instead of “child.”
Voices Carry. This song doesn’t hold up as well as I thought it would, but the chorus is still sweetly sung.
Radio Ga Ga. A guilty pleasure of sorts. The video, which intercuts clips from Metropolis, doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it’s fun to watch, especially the bits with the band in the flying car. Most of them look vaguely uncomfortable.
Under Pressure. This song is a lot weirder than you probably remember. Freddie Mercury vamps it up while Bowie treats it Very Seriously.
We Will Rock You. Queen enters arena mode. And it works.
We Are the Champions. Arena mode, but quieter.
We Belong. Pat Benatar turns nice and this is a nice song.
White Rabbit. Amusingly subversive, the way Grace Slick’s vocals build to a crescendo is still really effective.
I Want You to Want Me. A fellow student was constantly playing Cheap Trick in Drawing & Painting class, so I pretty much knew their first two albums by heart. This song is even slighter than I remembered. Surrender is better.
Heat of the Moment. Asia was one of those “supergroups” that had the unfortunate luck of peaking with their debut, making everything after a bit of a disappointment. This song is still catchy and serves as a kind of template for what some call the widescreen music of the 80s.
Beds are Burning. Peter Garret has a weird voice and dances like a chicken, but this song delivers its message about the plight of Australian aboriginals in a slick package. Also the other band members were all really hot. I’m just sayin’.
A Horse With No Name. The lyrics are silly (“the heat was hot”) but the layered vocals are as smooth now as they were in 1971.
The Reason. The jewel robbery of the video bears no relation to the content of the song, but that’s okay. There’s nothing outstanding here, but it all fits together so well it doesn’t matter. Plus more hot band members. Just sayin’.
She Loves Everybody. One of the newer songs on the list. I don’t recall how I came across Chester French, the short-lived duo, but this song (and video) are amusing and catchy. I like catchy music. I need to find a synonym for “catchy.”
Skyfall. As Bond themes go, this is one of the best. It’s theatrical, Adele’s vocals lend it the proper gravitas, and the orchestration works perfectly. The lyrics range from opaque to silly, fitting with Bond, really.
Empty Garden. Elton John’s tribute to John Lennon. This one really takes me back to 1981.
(Just Like) Starting Over. The above inspired me to get this, Lennon’s fun take on renewal, which gleefully changes style throughout, not to mention Lennon’s occasional riffs on Elvis. Enough time has elapsed that listening to it no longer makes me feel sad.
9 to 5. Short, catchy and perfectly calibrated to the movie that it served as the theme for. In the 1980s Dolly Parton could do no wrong.
Can’t Smile Without You. Barry Manilow came out as gay at the age of 73. I hate to tell you this, Barry, but we kind of knew. This is classic Manilow–big, schmaltzy, but also kind of irresistible.
Waiting for a Girl Like You. My favorite Foreigner song. I love the icy keyboards.
Can’t Fight This Feeling. Another guilty pleasure. A bit too slick for its own good, this REO Speedwagon hit is terrific in small does.
Angel of the Morning. I love the brief martial drum in Juice Newton’s cover.
Africa. I know there’s some Toto song I really liked back when they were big (around the time of Toto IV). I thought this was it, but listening to it, I’m not so sure. Maybe it was Rosanna?
Take On Me. Everyone remembers the video, but I’m still impressed at how lead vocalist Morten Harket climbs through the octaves during the chorus.
Hold Me Now. Not sure if guilty pleasure. But dare I say it–catchy? The Thompson Twins also serve as an early example of inclusiveness.
Some Like It Hot. Power Station was another supergroup that debuted big, then disappeared (they did do a second album about a decade later). The song opens with big, crunchy percussion and Robert Palmer growls and croons his way through this with aplomb.
Sledgehammer. Everyone remembers the video, but the song itself is an amusing delight all on its own.

Run 579: The longest run ever

Run 579
Average pace: 6:14/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CW)
Start: 12:36 pm
Distance: 5:03 km
Time: 31:21
Weather: Sun and cloud
Temp: 18-20ºC
Humidity: 44%
Wind: light
BPM: 168
Weight: 163.4 pounds
Total distance to date: 4480 km
Devices: Apple Watch, iPhone 8

Or at least it felt like it.

I headed out again with two full days off, my first back-to-back(ish) runs in a long time. Usually when I do this my pace is faster on the second run because I am a tiny bit more in shape than the previous run.

That did not happen today.

I expected the knees to be sore from the start and they were. In fact, the 4 km walk to the lake seemed to stretch out way beyond 4 km, which was not a good sign. But it was warmer and semi-sunny, so I set off with slow-and-steady being the favored approach.

The first km was actually not that bad. I came in at 5:48/km, which is faster than the previous run. By the second km the wheels were wobbly, slipping to 6:12/km, a fair bit slower than the previous run.

And then the wheels came off. For the third and fourth km, my pace was 6:34 and 6:49/km. By this point my knees actually didn’t feel bad, but my stamina had packed up and left the country. The gas had been siphoned from the tank. Elvis had left the building.

I didn’t just feel slow today, I was slow. I plodded. I thought about pausing the run and walking for awhile. I thought about stopping at the 4K mark. As I neared the last stretch by the athletic fields every step felt like I was getting no closer. I looked at my distance. 4.84 km. Normally that’s a number I laugh at as I sail to the finish. Instead, it felt like it would not move. I keep looking, seeing it go up in horribly small increments. I finally heard the triumphant ding that signaled 5K completed and congratulated myself for still being upright.

My external monologue immediately after (and it was external, between gasps for oxygen) went something like this:

“Fuck.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck, that was hard.”
“Fuck.”

I used my potty mouth quota for the entire month in the space of a few seconds.

In a final irony, the walk back went fairly briskly, with a rare sub-9 minute pace of 8:58/km, so neither knees nor stamina were an issue once I actually finished the run (or perhaps more accurately after the run finished me).

The higher temperature and sun likely played a factor. I sweated a small amount, which is more than I have for most of the spring. Still, the complete bottoming out was weird and a little disturbing. I even ran the “easier” side of the lake, going clockwise. It made no difference.

On the plus side, I didn’t stop early, I never switched to walking, and I actually picked up the pace in the final km, even if I felt a little like barfing those final few steps. On the neutral side my BPM was the same as last time–168–which is higher than I like, but still below the threshold of 170.

I am both curious and terrified at what the next run might be like.

Here are the splits with bonus commentary.

KM Time per km Comment
1 5:48 A decent start. Knees sore.
2 6:12 Getting kind of tired already. Not thinking about knees as much.
3 6:34 It feels like walking except super tiring now.
4 6:49 Please make it stop. Can I stop? I want to stop.
5 5:50 Running faster will make it stop sooner.

Why you don’t write iOS articles on iOS devices

This is an excerpt from a Forbes opinion piece posted shortly before Apple’s WWDC event on June 4th. I can’t actually verify that it was written on an iOS device, but the crazy autocorrect suggests…a definite possibility.

Maybe iOS 12 will support a Siri command to run a grammar check on a document.

Smells Right Interns is the name of my etc. etc.

Hey Siri, hire an editor (lol?)