Best music/worst lyrics combo pick: “One Slip” by Pink Floyd

In 1987 Roger Waters and David Gilmour both released solo albums, though Gilmour’s was done under the name “Pink Floyd.”

Ho ho.

While I do actually enjoy the album A Momentary Lapse of Reason (for the most part), even as I listen to it now, nearly 30 years (!) later, I am struck by how much it sounds not like Pink Floyd but like another band trying very earnestly to sound like Pink Floyd (it should be noted that some of the material was in fact originally intended for what would have been Gilmour’s third solo album). You have the soaring guitar solos, the female backing vocals, the whispered/garbled voices, the moody atmospherics, the weighty topics, and all of these combined do indeed echo moments from PF’s classic catalogue. The effort, however, is undercut by being paradoxically too slick (all of the Floydian flourishes feel very calculated) and yet at times embarrassingly amateurish.

It’s the former that brings me to the subject of this post. “One Slip” is a track penned by Gilmour and Phil Manzanera of Roxy Music. It’s a song about falling in love. Or something. The tune is catchy, although to my ears it’s one of the songs on the album that doesn’t really sound like Pink Floyd. The lyrics consist of clichés and overripe metaphors. It’s cringeworthy stuff. Observe:

I will, I will she sighed to my request
And then she tossed her mane while my resolve was put to the test
Then drowned in desire, our souls on fire
I lead the way to the funeral pyre
And without a thought of the consequence
I gave in to my decadence

I’m not sure if the mixed metaphor of drowning in desire while your soul is on fire (wouldn’t the desire put out the soul’s fire?) is supposed to be clever, but the image of leading down to a funeral pyre is nonsensical. I suppose you might compare having sex to dying if it’s really good and you want to blurt out, “It was like Heaven!” but really. And the woman “tossed her mane,” which immediately makes me think of a horse. And what consequence? Sex is bad? I guess, since it can drown and burn you and kill you.

Was it love, or was it the idea of being in love?
Or was it the hand of fate, that seemed to fit just like a glove?
The moment slipped by and soon the seeds were sown
The year grew late and neither one wanted to remain alone

This verse starts out fine, but then you have hands of fate, gloves, seeds being sown, late years and what is this even about? Is it a couple that reluctantly move to a farm together to save the crops? I like the idea of “neither one wanted to remain alone” but there’s no exploration of this. But perhaps the chorus pulls it all together:

One slip, and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life for life
A small regret, you won’t forget,
There’ll be no sleep in here tonight

This sounds like “…and then they had sex (which as we know, is bad.)” I really have no idea what’s going on here. The lustful pursuit of another is visualized as falling down a hole (how romantic), it “binds a life” (sounds important) and yet is also just “a small regret” (sounds trivial)  but don’t worry, in the end there’s some good old-fashioned snogging because “there’ll be no sleep in here tonight.” Unless it means you can’t sleep because of the drowning, fire, slipping and falling. There would be a good chance you’d be unconscious, which is different than sleeping.

I realize this is silly nitpicking on an ancient-in-pop-music-terms song, but it’s always been my go-to pick for a song that I enjoy listening to despite lyrics that make me want to curl up in a ball.

This in comparison to, say, “The Dogs of War” which musically is nothing special and also has lyrics that are a daisy chain of clichés. I leave off with some of the subtle phrasing from the track:

“our currency is flesh and bone”

“hell opened up and put on sale” ($6.66 and up)

“the web we weave” (scary ass spider-dogs of war)

“hollow laughter in marble halls”

“we all have a dark side, to say the least” (to say the least)

“and you must die so that they may live” (see? Totally dark side there, to say the least)

“things can get strained” (strained! Because of that dark side, probably)

I Mac?

No, not really. But I am posting from one. Eventually, I’ll have a whole series of blog posts made from increasingly improbable devices. Macs and PCs are perfectly probable devices to post from, so they don’t count. An iPad also works surprisingly well and has the bonus of letting me post while in bed, something that would prove awkward with a PC, monitor and keyboard/mouse combo spread out over the sheets. This 27″ iMac would just plain crush me. Then I’d have to write a haiku about being crushed in bed by an iMac. And I don’t want to do that.

I figure with this whole Internet of Things (or internet of things, I suppose) the ultimate quest here would be to make a post from a toaster or something. I have confidence that the future promises such a thing.

(The iMac is on loan from work for professional development. I’ve already mastered the critical skill of muting that hellishly annoying start-up sound. And I still kind of hate the Finder and persistent menu bar at the top of the desktop. It feels very 90s. But the display is nice!)

Book review: Brother Odd

Brother Odd (Odd Thomas, #3)Brother Odd by Dean Koontz
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Brother Odd is #3 in the Odd Thomas series and finds the titular character hanging out at an abbey in the California Sierras. When a few bodachs appear (smoky entities that only Odd can see that are harbingers of death) Odd knows trouble is a-coming and he works to protect the mentally and physically handicapped children under the care of the abbey’s monks and nuns.

While Odd remains a wonderfully self-deprecating character that Koontz could probably write in his sleep, the story this time is more out there, dealing with the quest to scientifically prove the existence of God and what happens when you start messing around with life on a quantum level (bad things, as it turns out). This may sound a bit odd (ahem) given the setting of the book, but it’s explained early when one of the monks in residence is revealed to be a former physicist who has bequeathed a fortune to the abbey and secretly continued his work while praying and meditating with his fellow monks.

As the number of bodachs grows, a blizzard sweeps over the mountain, effectively trapping everyone as the potential hour of doom nears. While it serves to increase tension, I was left with a feeling that the story has holes in it you could probably drive a monk-filled SUV outfitted with a snowplow through. Ultimately this only minimally detracts as Brother Odd is, despite its subject matter, not the kind of story you will ponder deeply afterward. It’s an entertaining popcorn read, exactly as I expected.

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I am a bit bummed out

Not because of my bum, but because of my right leg, which is not so much right as it is wrong.

At least I’m still getting some exercise with my daily walks at “a very brisk pace” as My Fitness Pal likes to describe them. I skipped Tuesday’s run and will skip tomorrow’s, too (Thursday). I may run Friday if the leg miraculously feels much better, but that seems quite unlikely.

At this point if someone offered me two choices:

A) $500,000 with no strings attached
B) healthy legs for the rest of my natural life

I would seriously consider option B. In fact, I would choose option B. $500,000 would buy a lot of ice cream to console myself with, but my waistline, general fitness and overall mental well-being would be better-served by legs that behaved themselves.

If option A was $1,000,000 I’d at least consider taking it and think about buying a bike. Bikes are good exercise, as long as you stay away from cars and large trucks that can knock you out of your shoes.

Mostly I am really anxious to get jogging again.

Run 432: Ominous climate change run (and still sore)

Run 432
Average pace: 5:41/km
Location: Burnaby Lake (CW)
Distance: 10.01 km
Time: 56:57
Weather: Cloudy
Temp: 15ºC
Wind: light
BPM: 160
Stride: n/a
Weight: 162.9 pounds
Total distance to date: 3472
Device used: Apple Watch and iPhone 6

The FIRE DANGER signs are already up on the Brunette River trail and at Burnaby Lake, the earliest I’ve ever seen them, another sign (or two) that the climate is changing. It feels like summer has shifted forward by about a month.

Ironically, it was cloudy and cool today and we may get a shower or two soon, so the signs may come back down pretty quickly. In the meantime, the cooler weather made for pleasant running conditions.

As has been the case of late, I headed out with great trepidation, concerned about The Leg. I took a pre-emptive Advil before leaving and the walk to the lake was of no great consequence. My plan was still the same as weeks past, to maintain a steady but not speedy pace, to be as gentle as one can be when spending 50+ minutes pounding your feet on a gravel and dirt trail.

The first few km were fine and I was cautiously optimistic, but I’ve seen this happen before, only to get hit by the persistent aching shortly after.

Which is what happened. I adjusted my pace down and mulled ending the run at 5K. Instead I pushed on and in the end I don’t feel any worse for having done so. The soreness extended from the hip through the knee (though the knee itself was fine) and into the calves. The ankle, which I had previously feared may be injured, was fine, to my great relief.

The soreness is different than pain. Pain is not just unpleasant to run with, it debilitates. It makes you stop if you’re smart (I’m mostly smart) because it’s your body telling you something is broken and you need to lay off so the healing can begin. This refers to actual physical healing, not the kind politicians talk about. Persistently sore muscles simply make the run more unpleasant and tiring.

In the end I finished with a pace of 5:41/km, my second best pace for a 10K this year. This was not my intention, though at one point near the end I picked up the pace because it felt like doing so was shifting my gait enough to make the aches more tolerable. Looking at the splits, my pace is all over the place, a veritable roller coaster. I can’t say I noticed this while running, but it seems my body was making adjustments on a kind of auto-pilot. Cardio-wise I felt good for the entire run. If my right leg matched my cardio I’d probably feel like a super-powered being while jogging.

The trail was a lot less crowded due to the clouds, which was nice. There were stretches where I didn’t encounter anyone for several minutes. This may not seem like much but given the traffic the lake gets, it’s quite noticeable when you experience it. I wonder how it would feel to do an entire run without seeing anyone else. Would it feel spooky? Weird? Indescribably pleasant?

If seeing something cute at the end of a run is a good omen I should be set for the rest of the summer. Having just finished and walking toward the dam, I spotted a goose about to cross my path, heading to the river. Normally this close proximity would result in the goose hissing at me and possibly flapping its wings in a menacing gesture, as humans aren’t supposed to be part of goose planet and why are we here, anyway? Instead it continued to waddle across the trail. I gave it room and noticed about half a dozen goslings trailing behind it, with another adult goose bringing up the rear, acting as shepherd. It was adorable. It almost made me like geese. But not quite.

I’m going to use the runs this week to make a determination over whether to continue or take some real time off to allow proper healing to take place. So far things don’t seem to be getting worse, but if they’re getting better the pace may be a bit too slow to really count. I don’t want to take time off as this is peak running season, but if I do that should still give me time for the second half of summer. We shall see.

The future is (not) cursive

This post is written entirely using a pen on my Surface Pro 3.

I am not editing it except when it makes obvious mistakes. So far it’s been pretty good but when it goes off the rails it really goes off. On the one hand, it feels strangely retro and on the other it’s like living in some version of the future as predicted in 1964. Which is really the same as strangely retro.

It’s just awkward enough that I wouldn’t want to do it regularly, but it’s a nice feature to have. Well, better than a kick in the pants, anyway.

Run 431: Not quite a return to form

Run 431
Average pace: 5:28/km
Location: Brunette River trail
Distance: 5.01 km
Time: 27:24
Weather: Sunny
Temp: 20ºC
Wind: light
BPM: 157
Stride: n/a
Weight: 163.2 pounds
Total distance to date: 3462
Device used: Apple Watch and iPhone 6

After a week without runs (skipping Sunday and Tuesday) I decided to try out a mild 5K along the river tonight.

It went…okay. I improved my pace over my previous 5K by seven seconds, although 5:28/km is just a tad on the pokey side at this point in the season. The right leg felt sore but was tolerable and doesn’t feel any worse post-run. There were about four times during the run where my weight seemed to shift into the magic “no load-bearing weight” zone and the right leg would want to fold up. Keeping pace allowed me to plow through these brief, albeit unpleasant moments. Paradoxically, it seemed easier to not hit these points by running faster, as my gait would lengthen and change enough to avoid hitting that especially sensitive spot around the ankle.

Overall, I don’t regret going out and I don’t think I’m any worse for it. The run was not exactly fun, though. On the plus side, the weather was faboo, another eerily summer-like evening long before actual summer arrives. I know it’s probably just a foretelling of the doom to come as global warming ramps up, but it’s still nice for now.

I’m planning to go out again on Sunday but will wait until then to make a final call. If by Sunday my leg has inflamed to twice its regular size and causes enough pain to result in spontaneous blackouts I’ll probably skip the run and eat apple strudel instead.

Book review: Carrie

CarrieCarrie by Stephen King
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Some spoilers ahead, in as much as you can spoil a novel published in 1974.

King’s first published novel is in a way the ultimate teenage tale of revenge. Dowdy, introverted Carrie White, a 16 year old girl raised by an extreme Christian fundamentalist mother, is taunted and bullied through high school and does her best to ignore it all while bearing the incessant, borderline insane ravings of her mother. Things seem to be turning around when good boy Tommy Ross invites her to the prom but if you’ve seen the movie, you know how that turns out.

Carrie uses her telekinetic powers to take revenge on those who have humiliated and teased her, eventually spreading her wrath to the entire small town of Chamberlain. Basically, everyone dies.

King writes the story as an epistolary, inserting interviews, book excerpts, commission reports and newspaper stories between the more conventional narrative scenes. Two things I found interesting were how King tips his hand early–less than halfway through you learn that a lot of people are going to die, often which specific people. The story, bracketed by the interviews and reports, becomes less about what will happen and more about what did happen. There is still a slow-burning dread that builds as prom night approaches, a kind of Doom That Came To Chamberlain, if you will.

King also approaches telekinesis as something worthy of scientific study, showing experts speculating on its likely genetic origin and whether more “taunt me and watch me destroy the world” Carries might be out there. Perhaps this was meant as a way of making Carrie seem more sympathetic, a victim of both a brutal upbringing, and a terrible, albeit, natural ability she could not control (or could control all too well, perhaps).

Unlike many of King’s later novels, Carrie is fairly brief and some of the characters feel a bit thinly drawn as a result. There’s just enough meat on the bones here but only just. One of King’s affectations is in full force, though. This is where he’ll break a paragraph abruptly

(and put something in parentheses to emphasize a specific mood or line of thought)

and then continue on with the narrative only to

(switch back to the parenthetical interjection, often making liberal use of exclamation points! italics and word repetition word repetition o the words o the interjections over and over)

While it can certainly emphasize a particular mood or thought pattern, it looks a bit hamfisted now.

Still, any fan of King’s work would be remiss to not read Carrie. King’s skills are still being refined here and not every character or turn feels true (Carrie’s mother especially seems way over the top, something Piper Laurie took to heart in the 1976 film adaptation), but even at this early stage he shows an effortless ability to get a narrative rolling and keep it moving.

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The Sunday no-run

After 40% hemming and 60% hawing I finally decided to not run today. After doing some thinking and various amounts of walking, my self-diagnosis is I’m bipolar. Just kidding.

I am reasonably confident that the right leg is sore due to muscles being stretched and not due to any kind of injury with the bone (a bone injury would be very bad). The reasons for thinking this are I can walk at a brisk pace despite the soreness and it does not get worse the farther I travel. It’s quite tolerable. Also, the pain seems to have diminished over the last day or so. I wouldn’t be comfortable running again just yet but I’m hoping the worst is over. I’ll see how the leg feels on Tuesday and if it doesn’t feel bad I may try a slower run on the river trail. I’m also fine with sitting out the full week. I’ll just do sit-ups or something (I won’t do sit-ups).

It still bugs me that I am pretty much injury-prone at this point. Was it the twenty years of not exercising at all? Is it because I mysteriously decided to stop stretching before and after running? Karma? Ancient curse? Klutz gene? I may never know. But I’ll work through it. My sexy* figure demands it.

 

* sexiness may be in the eye of the beholder