Promotions gone horribly not-quite-right

Two I’ve seen lately.

First up, Microsoft wants you to get a Surface Laptop 3…maybe never? As of this post, trying to order some Surface devices from the Microsoft Store site still gives Invalid Date for when you might receive them. This seems to be related to new Surface devices, so maybe the store is just reflecting the general glitch level of the new Surface devices.

Next is this promotion to get a flu shot. Every time I look at this it reads to me as FU season is here! Which, if you end up getting the flu, is perhaps not an inaccurate way to describe it.

The evolution of bigger smartphones in pictorial form

This is the image a retailer uses in their ads to entice you to buy phones. Based on how smartphones have evolved in the few short years they’ve been around, I am projecting that this phone will exist in 2017:

big phone

Not a sex ad

Admit it, you see the same thing I do when you look at this EVGA ad:

(Hadrons are subatomic particles)
(I’m not going to define the other word you and I may have seen at first glance)

What does my blog needs? “Ads!”

I asked one of my online friends (they are the best because they can never give me an actual wedgie) what else I could put on my blog, to which he responded “Ads!”

So I went searching for some good ads and found this one from the 1950s or as we call it now, The Age of Enlightenment:

Crazy girl likes jam

I call this “Crazy girl likes jam”. My friend suggested she is thinking about chomping on the fingers and relishing the thought. I think he may be right.

Speaking of The Age of Enlightenment:

Colorful cancer

Lord a-mercy, am I right?

The real question here is how she is keeping that cigarette in her mouth.

Feeling thirsty after your cigarette and jam sandwich? How about some orange juice?

Orange juice creepy

Crazy kids love orange juice. Gives ’em energy for doing all sorts of things. Like MURDER THE FAMILY IN THEIR SLEEP.

Apologies to the sites I appropriated the images from. I just used Google and did a search. You can find the originals easily enough, especially if you read to the next three lines where I link them:

Jam girl from slashfoods.com
Happy smoker of color from Vintage Ad Browser
Crazy orange juice kid from Photoree

And to prove that questionable ads are timeless, here’s an Ars Technica story on AT&T using the September 11th terrorist attacks for a smartphone ad. The AT&T CEO issued an apology which basically amounted to, “Boy, that was pretty dumb, huh?”